Dealing with a tantrum from an 18 month old boy?

Question

I got some great answers to my last question regarding tantums and people staring.

But for those of you who told me its my fault, bad parenting, spoilt child etc etc

someone even said that at that age they should know right from wrong and shouldnt have the oppurtunity to have a tantrum!!

Could you please tell me what you would do with a child of that age?

Gem Gem
Thats my point!!!!
He's only 18 months old so I can't saying to him say sorry, give me cuddle and then explain everything to him!!!
He's far to young!
I couldnt be talking French for all he cared, he wouldnt understand!!!

sorry!!!
could not couldnt!!!
I was typing too quickly!!!!

Answer 1

what i did with my son was diverted his attention to something else

Answer 2

My son had hearing problems, which led to great frustation and terrible behaviour problems. There's no way they know right from wrong all the time at that age - you have to teach it to them - bearing in mind that bad behaviour is usually designed to get your attention. They don't care whether that attention is in the form of a telling off - it's attention. If you respond to tantrums with attention he has achieved his goal, so the best thing is to ignore the tantrums and reward good behaviour with attention. It doesn't matter what other people think. Most of those who criticise you won't have children themselves or have been in your situation. For tantrums at home do the same. Ignore him until he has completely calmed down so the tantrum achieves absolutely nothing, then give him lots of fuss for having calmed down. Give in once and he'll know there's always a chance you'll give in the next time he does it. It's hard but it's what parenting is all about. My son had a naughty chair and when he had been warned and still persisted with bad behaviour he had to sit on it for a few minutes in the same room as us with everyone completely ignoring him. If he got up he was put back on it without a word being spoken. I think we only ever had to use it about three times. The threat was enough after that. He's now a very normal teenager who accepts he can't always get his own way and gets more pleasure from pleasing people than upsetting them because that's where the attention lies. Good luck!

Answer 3

My son was like that until he could speak well. I was told that if I did not get the tantrums under control now, then what kind of a teenager will he be? I was scared and I tried everything from ignoring, to spanking, to speaking firmly and telling him no, to holding him upright so that he would be uncomfortable but the one and only thing that worked...he got older. As soon as he could speak well and get his point across he was a different kid. He still is quite difficult at times and very stubborn and I always try to stay on top of him and teach him right from wrong, but the tantrums have completely stopped. He just turned 3. If your little boy does not speak well yet then that might be the reason. Just think how frustrating that would be. I would say it stopped when my son turned 2.

Answer 4

I think everyone else already gave you some really good advice. I personally agree with ignoring as much as possible. For example, my 18 month old threw a tantrum because I went to strap him in his pram (because he was trying to run around the doctors office lol), so I simply strapped him in, pulled the hood down, and turned the pram facing away from me. I think the best thing to do is just be calm, matter of fact, and let them know that they won't win.
It's important to remember though, that this won't magically stop tantrums from occuring, they're not called the terrible two's for nothing!
Tantrums DO NOT make you a bad parent, they make you the parent of a very normal child. If your son is still having them at 3 or 4, then you need to worry, lol.

I think there have been a lot of people answering parenting questions tonight who aren't parents!

Answer 5

Know right from wrong at 18 mo.??? We will all be blessed if the child knows that at 18 years

Tantrums are not from "bad parenting". They are a natural part of a child's developement.

Best way to deal with tantrum: WALK AWAY - even if you are in a store or on the street. Just get out of child's sight.

Usually, without you as "audience", tantrum will be stopped. Sometimes when other people watch and/or comment, child will continue - for a time.

Answer 6

They are still learning right from wrong at that age and it is up to you to teach him.

If he is having a tantrum, scold him. Make sure he is in a safe place, because if he's the type who throws himself onto the floor, etc. he could hurt himself. THEN ignore him.

Once he is calm, give him hugs and talk about the tantrum. Don't try to talk to him while he's screaming, though :)

I didn't see your original question, but I'm not about to assume that your kid is spoiled or that you're a bad parent! Even the most well-behaved young ones will have an occasional meltdown or two. As far as the people who stare at you ... you can pretty much tell by the way they are staring whether or not they have kids of their own :)

Answer 7

When mine through a tantrum I found the best method was to ignore them because if they don't get a response they will realise that it is not worth the bother. I know this can be difficult but it is the best way. My youngest son sat behind my sofa for about an hour once shouting " I WANT MY DADDY" because I had told him off. He soon stopped doing this once he realised that he was not getting a reaction to it. And if anyone blames the parenting then I can only guess they don't have kids an 18 mth old will through a tantrum just to see how far they can push you.

Answer 8

I have two boys and my advice to you would be to completely ignore the tantrum. If you ignore them they stop. They realise that they're not going to get any attention.

My husband tends to fuss over our toddler when he's tantruming and it just makes him worse! I just ignore it and he soon stops. They're not going to hurt themselves with this behaviour and they won't die or have a stroke - they're doing it because they can't express themselves adequately. If you give them attention when they're doing this it only makes it worse in the long run as they'll learn that it gets them attention. Make them use speech in order to ask for what they need.

If you're in the house and this happens then make sure they're safe and then go into the next room. Start to do a task to take your mind off it. Tell them that you'll be willing to speak to them once they've finished their tantrum.

Sometimes you can distract them out of it by putting something interesting within their sight.

If you're in the shops then remain calm, but still ignore it. It doesn't matter if people look. I've been in shops where children have been having a tantrum and people honestly aren't that interested. They will look, but I don't think that they're as judgemental as you think. Most people are sympathetic.

You'll always get some hatchet-faced pensioner glaring at you, but they're too old to remember what raising children is all about anyway, so they don't matter.

If you go to the shops try to get a trolley with a kiddie seat in so that you can restrain them, or take a pushchair.

If they lie down in the aisle and start to tantrum and you can't pick them up then just turn your back and keep a discreet eye on them, but don't talk to them.

Please try not to worry about it. Most kids go through this stage and I feel nothing but sympathy when I see a mother struggling with their little kid.

They'll grow out of it once they can talk and express themselves properly.

Be calm and retain a sense of humour if you're able to.

Good Luck ☺♪☺

Answer 9

I think that people who answer with stupid comments like, they are spoilt, should know better etc obviously do not have children! I have an 18 month old who has discovered tantrums, but he is also discovering that mummy just walks away from him when he throws one! The hardest thing I am finding though, is all the people who interfere. I have asked my mum, step dad, sister etc to also ignore him, but they seem to be unable to do this, which is not helping!!!
I always make sure that once he has finished his tantrum, we have a cuddle. I feel that this is showing him that he is only rewarded for good behaviour, not for throwing himself onto the floor, or kicking things!

Answer 10

When children are acting the worst they need your love the most.
He's a baby
Soooo give him a nice comforting hug or hold because they become hysterical and forget why they're doing it.

Now if you determine he's doing this to get his way. Contain him in a safe place. Explain to him simply "Mommy doesn't like this"> Then leave the room and don't go back until he stops. It's no fun witout an audience.

Each child is different and it's hard to determine his motivitation at first so try everything. Love being your first effort at 18 mo old. Good luck

Answer 11

I didn't respond to your last question, but I just wanted to tell you that anyone who has an 18 month old(or at least remembers having one) who throws tantrums knows that it's no ones fault.

I let my son throw his tantrums for one reason, he does't know how else to express himself. It's not his fault, he's just too young to understand that he can use words to express his anger and frustration rather than having to scream and stomp his feet to get his point across.

Kids don't know right from wrong for several years. Yes, they will learn that some things are "no-nos" and some things are OK, but that is a huge difference than knowing right from wrong.

If your son isn't hurting himself when he throws tantrums, then I would just let him get it out of his system and go on about the day. They will stop one day, as long as you're loving and caring with him.