MY plan was to do my final year this year and hopefully when i graduate end of july next year i'd get married.... but due to the fact i have done not so well in 2 modules i have to re sit only them modules this year instead of going into my final year!!
i have tried to explaine to my girlfriend but she wont have non of it...she is upset and really down and the worst thing is her family just wont accept this.... there all like marry her next year or you ant gona marry her at all... and i think to my self how will i support her all these things dont come easy. Getting married ant easy find a place to live bills to pay and she thinks its all rose's i dont know what to do i got her shouting down my ear and i feel like i have to leave uni to see her happy....all my life worked hard to where i am. wanted to do a degree and now i'm almost there just dont know what to do....help plz
2007-09-25 02:39:32 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If she is that selfish that she won't wait to get married...then you shouldn't worry about her. Do what you think is right!! Don't let other people tell you what you HAVE to do. The only thing you HAVE to do is what you think is right.
2007-09-25 02:43:32 · answer #1 · answered by wendylynn1009 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have your head screwed on straight. Too bad she doesn't. You make very good sense and the fact that she and her family don't understand it speaks volumes. Think about living the rest of your life with these people. Not just her (yes, she is very unreasonable) but her family will also be part of your life. Especially when you have children. I'd say you have to put your foot down on this one. You are right and she is wrong.
If you are still head over heels in love with this woman, you might want to consider that some of her stubbornness is coming from pressure from her family. See if that is the issue and if so, try to convince her from that angle. If not, or if she is still stubborn about it, put the marriage off indefinitely and get a better picture if this is the life you want to have until death do you part.
2007-09-25 09:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by the_dragyness 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST off.....HER family should appreciate the fact that you want to do all that you can to make a better life for their daughter (and yourself)
SECONDLY..... How does she imagine you feel....? It's not like you DON'T want to marry her and did badly on purpose did you?
I'm sorry but in this case you and YOUR future come first.....If either her or her family cannot wait for you to do what needs to be done, then you do it for yourself and nobody else (which should be the case anyway)
You should tell her and her family (at the same time) that you are going to finish what you started to the best of your ability and if that is not good enough for them (INCLUDING your girlfriend) then maybe you're not good enough for them,
BUT....someone is.....I bet half of the ladies who reply to this question would give their right arm for a guy who is going out of their way to make a better life for themselves....never mind who they choose to spend their life with.
Don't let them dictate how you should live your life.... because it will only cause resentment and that is no way to START a marriage....
But at the end of the day the choice is yours.... What is best for YOU? NOT the people around you.....
2007-09-25 09:53:50 · answer #3 · answered by missceekay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you know what you need to do and your priorities are in the right order.
If they're giving you an ultimatum of marry her next summer or not at all, tell them then it's not at all (but don't give up on her just yet). Hopefully she loves you enough to figure out that your education has to come before the wedding and will support you once she realizes you can't just quit school. I imagine her family thinks you are just trying to delay getting married or aviod marrage at all.
2007-09-25 10:10:36 · answer #4 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all DO NOT PULL OUT OF YOUR STUDIES !!
Next, take some time with your girlfriend - sometimes time together makes you remember why you are together.
I think your girlfriend and her family are thinking that you dont want to get married and you are using delaying tactics - you have to find a way of showing them that isnt true.
Have you booked the wedding? If you havent why dont you go ahead and book the wedding for the following year and youre likely to satisfy all, if your girlfriend has a set date and firm booking - she can concentrate on that whilst you can sort out your studying. I suspect the reason she has gone so mad is that she thinks your trying to get out of it, doing it this way helps you both - many people book weddings a couple of years ahead - good luck - let us know how you get on !
2007-09-25 10:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by FRED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your plan. You have the right idea. If she is REALLY that upset, then she is more interested in the ring and the wedding than the marriage. It is better to lose the girl than to lose your future.
I am disgusted that they would react this way.
Stay calm. Tell them how you feel and that you are trying to make the best choice for your future and that you are not willing to jeopardize your future just to throw a party before you are really ready.
If she is the right girl for you, there is no reason she can't wait until you are ready.
If she can't wait, then you are better off without her because now you know the truth.
2007-09-25 09:59:38 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
not being horrible or anything but if that is how she feels then she is not worth it, no matter how many times she tells you she loves you and wants to marry you. if i was being treat like that i would rather have a degree than have a ring round my finger but thats me. you have to make your own decisions at the end of the day but whichever you chose you will no doubt have to life with and if you chose marriage a divorce will cost more in the long run.
hope i helped
2007-09-25 09:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by kirsty w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
drop the girlfriend. if she and her family dont understand that studies comes first and that u cant pay for a wedding and provide for her without that degree, than she is not worth being with or marrying. find someone who will appreciate what you are doing and encourage u in doing so.
2007-09-25 10:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by Julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mate, these other folks are right. If she loved you she would wait and not give you this hassle in the first place. She and her family want a wedding so badly that any old Joe will do. If I were in your shoes I'd be on my toes making sure I wasn't any old Joe.
2007-09-25 09:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should finish your degree first. maybe sit down and explain to her calmly how much you love and want to marry her but you want to also take care of her and you need your degree for this. try to explain how important it is to you and how happy it makes you. if she is a loving partner she will understand and want you to be happy and to make you happy just as you do her. She should help you talk to her family. no one should force you into marriage is you do not feel emotionally or financially ready/stable,
hope it works out!!!
2007-09-25 09:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So dont marry her, tell her that your future is important, for you to have established so when you enter into a marraige you wont have to worry about financial situations. She'll come around if she loves you but if she doesnt she wasnt worth tt anyway.
2007-09-25 09:46:53 · answer #11 · answered by Vickey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋