There is a girl that has been at my daughters school for 2 years now. She is the youngest in their 4th grade class and it shows.
She is the type to be your friend on minute and drop you the next, then be your friend again (cycle repeats).
Anyway my daughter became friends with this little girl- lets call her Milly. Then another added the group- Sadie.
They were all BFF. So Milly decides its time to drop both of them for someone else. Typical.
So my daughter and the other girl (Sadie) became best friends- for like 3 weeks. This was the closest friendship my daughter had really had up to this point.
Anyway so Milly comes back along and asks the girls to play again. they were both politely dismissive of her. (I warned my daughter- to still be nice and to not saying anything bad about one to the other- remember those days).
No problem, a week passes. Then Milly comes to school with Hannah Montana tickets and asks Sadie to go to the concert with her. She has stop being my daughter's friend
2007-09-25 02:38:23 · 13 answers · asked by momof2 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Of course Sadie does it and now my girl's left out of the loop and very hurt. Life lesson for sure.
It seems pretty typical of the age but I can't ell my daughter that and expect her to accept it.
She is very tender hearted and loyal. She just doesn't understand the behavior.
She is now getting to the age when the stuff starts happening more often. She's my oldest. How do I handle these situations.
We are not the type to go buy front row Hannah Montana tickets just to show that other little girl up. What are our other options.
What teaches my girl the best lesson and helps her to grow from this experience?
2007-09-25 02:41:36 · update #1
My daughter went through the same thing in 4th grade although parents were involved because there were mean emails sent.
I would suggest that if your daughter has other "good" friends" that you set up playdates, sleepovers, etc with other girls. Encourage her to branch out-if these girls see her upset-they will do it more.
Girls start to get mean during this time. You have to tell her to surround herself with friends who make her feel good not sad or anxious. Is she on a sport team? My daughter joined soccer and gained a great deal of confidence.
American Girl has a great book-the care of keeping of friends-my daughter learned alot from it.
This will happen again and again.
My daughter finally learned to stick up for herself-she actually told the one girl how mean she is and she stopped being mean to her.
I know it's hard and it break yours heart but just be there for her and liek I said encourage other friendships.
There is a big chance another girl is feeling this way too from her group of friends
2007-09-25 06:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by Willow 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's kind of sick that your girlfriend had a child in order to get kicked out of her house....and what is the need for more children now? You guys are young...and just because you have sufficient funds,which is much better than most kids conceiving these days, but...that has nothing to do with the type of parents you are and how things are going to go for you in the future. You guys should slow down and take time to build a life for yourselves before you bring even more children into this. You guys have a long life ahead of you...there is no need to rush things! Your girlfriend (fiance) isn't crazy and I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with the way you guys are handling things but...I'm just wondering about your gf's intentions, as you said that the first kids were a product of your girlfriend's desire for independence. Just think about the future more than the present and try to make the best decision....
2016-05-18 00:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 6 y.o. daughter has the same issues with a girl that she went to daycare with and now elementary school.
This kind of hurt will come and go as will the friendships that children build. One day they will be best friends and the next, they dislike one another. Making other friends will help but your child is probably not in the mood to make more friends, especially after feeling so rejected.
I usually talk to my daughter and tell her that some people feel the need to be mean to others to make themselves feel good. But that people who are true friends will work things out. If Sadie or Milly are really her friends they will all find a way to work it out. Or suggest that she talk to the girls individually and ask them why they are mistreating her. Though this might cause more hurt if the kids continue to be mean.
I let my daughter know how much I love her, and that I'm there for her. Listen to her and then perhaps offer a similar story of my own so she doesn't feel so awkward and alone. Then I find some fun project for us to do together so she feels better about herself. Our relationship grows stronger, she feels better about her situation, and she knows now that she's not alone. This can make a world of difference.
2007-09-25 03:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by Luineannon 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I know it's hard. But my experience is to just "wait a week". Things will change again. Just spend some extra time with your daughter and try to stay out of it. Be sympathetic but don't make a big deal out of it.
We have the Hannah Montana concert here soon too. Good seats are more than a few hundred dollars and I refuse to buy into that kind of marketing! Perhaps you and your daughter could instead have a night on the town and go to a good movie or broadway musical .
2007-09-25 03:32:32 · answer #4 · answered by Cam 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I tell my son all the time...you will be able to count your "true" friends on ONE hand by the time you leave college. Now for the most part with my daughter things like this are just more common for girls. I have no clue as to why..perhaps because they are more sensitive. The lesson your daugther can learn is this: all people are different, some are loyal and some are not. Meaning that some consider a friendship something to be cherished and handled with care, others throw it away like paper. A saying goes like this:
Friends are like Diamonds,
They're precious and rare,
But those false friends,
Are like autumn leaves,
They're found everywhere.
Trust me...this will pass as she gets older. Been there. Bless your heart for getting involved. STAY involved with your daughter, she sounds like a gem.
2007-09-25 03:25:18 · answer #5 · answered by OMGiamgoingNUTS 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
oh my god, my heart is breaking for her! really. funny, my daughter is the same age and has a "friend" who does the same things...it really makes your kid feel worthless and not good enough. i can relate to your pain. the only thing that seems to help my daughter when the other brat is mean to her is to advise her to go play with her other friends and ignore said brat. this really is one of those things that she will have to handle on her own but with love at home and an ear whenever she needs to vent should be good enough. remember we all went through it and in the long run it made us tougher and know who our true friends were/are.
2007-09-25 05:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by just curious 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's probably old enough at ten to understand that some people are not loyal and trustworthy. I know you hate to see it happen, but there it is. Her friend has proved not to be a true friend, or at least, to be bribable! Maybe she'll grow out of it, and maybe not.
(I don't know these kids, but if any of them is growing to be the "prom princess" type, better if your daughter doesn't get close with them in the first place. The last thing you want is for her to get in the crowd that thinks high school is the apex of life.)
2007-09-25 02:48:36 · answer #7 · answered by bonitakale 5 · 5⤊ 3⤋
Sorry 2 hear about that but it all happens and at that age it's better to have more than 2 friends because if 1 moves away then another doesnt want to be her friend or like your story so I would start encouriging her to make more friends
2007-09-25 02:42:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
i know how aggrivating this is to you, if something happens to your daughter it hurts us as parents probably more than it does them, i go to my daughters school alot and it helps her so much making friends because when the parents are there it just somehow makes them more popular, i tell my daughter to be friends with everyone and not to talk to just one, i would tell your daughter to just keep being friendly with them , this will pass especially after the concert, and to not just be friends with these couple of girls but to go around to all the girls in her class and be friends, and tell her if one dosent wanna be friends one day just go to another group and talk to them, i will say also them being in some type of sport helps make friends to my daughter is a cheerleader and basketball player and so she makes tons of friends through that, so you might wanna try it, i hope everything works out, i know how you feel, we love our children and hate to see them hurt have a great day and good luck!
2007-09-25 02:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Your daughter has to learn to handle rejection and diappointment at an early age, because life does NOT get any easier later on. Have a talk with her about the subject, and how she has to cope with these things.
2007-09-25 02:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by WC 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋