How long does it take to get over a betrayal?

Question

Once you are over it, should you forgive the person who betrayed you?

Answer 1

It takes as long as it takes, there's no time limit on hurt, but all hurt subsides with time if you're willing to let it go. Yes, you should forgive the person. Holding on to it will only hurt yourself in the long-run. Forgive them, but let them know that if they wish to continue to be close to you, they have to make amends. If they aren't willing to do that on their own, then you should wash your hands of them and move on. Life is too short to waste time harboring past hurts. Let it go, and enjoy the good times ahead of you.

Answer 2

You choose how long it takes. It depends on how long you want to continue giving the other person power over you. Once you accept that the betrayal does not actually demean you but rather the other person, it's pretty quick.

Forgiveness is a little iffier. I find that it's often easier to try to understand what motivated the other person and hold in my mind the acceptance of his or her flaws, even pity for what caused them. I think this is the real essence of forgiveness, rather than just saying "I forgive", which is kind of a nebulous idea.

Answer 3

All I can advise is this: Try and see the situation from a stranger's perspective - one who happens to know everything, but still a stranger. Try to understand it objectively as the stranger would try to do. It might tke you a long time, but try to put yourself in the shoes of your betrayer, in the shoes of friends and family, and in your own, and really understand everybody's actions and reactions. Only when you realise that we're all human: fearful, short-sighted, selfish and insecure, and understand that those failings are what make us do terrible things can you even begin to think of true forgiveness. But do it for yourself, if you intend to do so. Don't do it because you think it's expected of you, or because you want to be the bigger person, or whatever. Do it because you realise that what happened was a mistake born of imperfection, and that holding on to the pain, anger and humiliation does you no good. It happened. Each of you dealt with it in your own way, however poorly. Put it in the distant past and find some happiness. You deserve it.

Answer 4

I've found that forgiving the person who betrayed me makes it much easier to get over a wrongdoing. Forgive and forget --words spoken by someone far more wise than I.

When I've offered up forgiveness (usually within a few short hours) I immediately feel at peace. Holding onto hurt only makes one bitter. Let it go.

Answer 5

it is never the offense that is hard to forgive, it is always the offender, and in the case of betrayal it takes two

it will not be over until you forgive yourself for being betrayed

Answer 6

good question. well let me say these much time heals the wounds (even those on hearth), but scares remains. lets say that for something like that u need time to get over the hurt so that healing process can start. how long depends on a person it can take from 2 months and all up to a year,it all depends on what caind of hurt and what caind of betrayal u did experience.we all need time to go true the Griff period and in the end of the process we heal and learn from our mistakes or mistakes of others! but don't worry like they say karma or life it self its a good judge because what go"s around comes around!! so even the person that it did hurt u will get his part of hurt back in his own way and time!
abaut forgiveness yes i think u should forgive and forget or else u get stuck in the moment and cant move on in life! life is too short already,no point of shortening it even more with holding a grudge!

Answer 7

I think this greatly depends on the you and the situation.

It depends on how forgiving of a person you are and your ability to let go or hold a grudge. It also depends on how close you were to this person before they betrayed you and what exactly they did to have betrayed you.

I will tell you this, holding a grudge does not only hurt and affect the person you hold the grudge against - it causes hurt and pain to yourself. Holding onto negative emotions only causes harm to yourself.

Answer 8

You can never get over something if you don't start forgiving from your heart...

All intentions springs from the heart and mind... so unless if we could find the source/root of the problem, there is no way to forgive or forget about another person's wrongdoing...

Answer 9

The only person not forgiving someone hurts is myself. If I hold a grudge against someone, it doesn't hurt the other person at all. It only hurts me. The sooner I can forgive someone, the sooner I can get back to being happy.

Answer 10

You should always forgive as quickly as possible,even if they haven't asked for forgivness..Holding on to the hurt only puts bitterness in your heart and damages you in the long run...