What do you do when the parent / child roles reverse? I feel like I am the parent now and my dad is the child. He is not going to work, hasn't been for at least a month or 2 now. He drinks almost all day long and makes stupid comments about life insurance paying his bills. He thinks it is all a big joke. He has depression and has gone back on his meds but refuses to do anything other than that. Half the time I am not even sure he takes the pills. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't like seeing my dad like this and I hate that he refuses to do anything about it.
2007-09-25 02:21:50 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am worried too that if I stop listening to his problems, stop visiting him, confront him or tell someone it will only make things worse. Like it may push him farther down and not help the situation at all.
2007-09-25 02:40:38 · update #1
This situation is hard and I feel for you. It's not difficult to watch anyone you care about give up and stop trying. Your fears are justified because you can never predict what someone else will do but I can tell you by continuing to be his sounding board isn't doing him any good nor will it help him over come the problems he's facing now. No matter what choices he makes you are not responsible for them but you do have every right to share how you feel. Let him know how much care and that you are scared for him. Tell him you don't know what to do to help but that it is hurting you to sit by and watch him in his current state. Ask him to get some help so that he won't feel so down and be ok. Let him know what it is about him that you miss, such as spending time together, seeing him smile, etc. Maybe this will be the trigger he needs to realize he's missing out on so much. Hugs!!!
2007-09-25 02:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Orion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I feel for you.
Its not fair when a child takes on the worries of a parent ,and sadly it happens alot.
Talking to your father is the only way you'll get him to seek help.
Depression and alcohol are not a good mix, but unfortunately its not up to you if he drinks. All I can suggest is this:
Sit down with him and gently and calmly explain to him that you are frightened for his future and for yours. Explain that it makes you sad when he comments about life insurance paying the bills and what he is implying with comments like these.
:
I am a mum, and if I was frightening my kids ( and your dad is probably unaware that this is the case, he's probably just venting) I'd be devastated to realise it, but thankful that I was told and could stop it.
2007-09-25 02:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by akdawswon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholism is a disease... and it is a SOURCE of depression... because alcohol IS a depressant.
Your father needs to get help... and you might find great help, support and advice if you would consider going to some Alanon meetings (a support group for those of us whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic).
In Alanon, you will find people who have the same problems as you.
You didn't mention your age or your father's age, but maybe it's time for you to stop enabling him to drink, and start taking care of YOU.
Pay your own bills, not his. Don't give him money. Insist he gets help. Don't live with him!
I'm sure you don't like seeing your dad like this, as you said, but other adults aren't your responsibility. Even him.
2007-09-25 02:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey,,,this is a normal thing that happens to ppl when they get older and feel like they have nothing to give to society...So they withdraw into themselves.
Try to get him involved in something that he likes to do and get him out more...
2007-09-25 02:29:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Turn him in.
2007-09-25 02:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋