AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge
towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He
tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up
but
saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his
left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't
exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident."
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count
you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be
hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but
perhaps
You could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear
dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head &
spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord, Amen."
2007-09-25 02:11:49 · 21 answers · asked by I speak Truth 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
C'mmon ppl it's a joke I didn't write it and there's plenty of jokes at the expense of Christians too but I gues some can't take a joke! Oh well too late now!
2007-09-25 02:36:19 · update #1
Agent Smith are you trying to tell me thatr Atheists are perfect and think of everything or that they do not have a sense of humor and cannot laugh at themserlves? I'm sorry I didn't mean to step on any toes I though people could take a joke I should have gone with my gut feeling and realised that some people can not take a joke.
2007-09-25 02:57:17 · update #2
Laughing Out Loud!!!!!!
So loud I woke-up my neighbors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is by Far the
FUNNIEST JOKE
I HAVE HEARD
IN A Lllllooonnggg TIME.
Thank YOU, I needed that!!!!!!!!!
Bambi Abi'JAH
2007-09-25 03:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
This joke hase been posted about 50 thousand times since Yahoo! Answers started and it still:
a) isn't funny; and
b) doesn't make sense.
First, how does use of the common expression "Oh my god" denote sudden belief in a deity? It doesn't.
Second, why does the atheist suggest that he shouldn't be treated "as a Christian", there is no evidence that this is the Christian god and to be fair, shouldn't the Christian god have unconditional love for all humans? On top of this , he then recommends that the bear be made a Christian. Where the hell did that come from? What on Earth would provoke that kind of reaction from an atheist? What would making the bear a Christian achieve?
As I said, it doesn't make sense and isn't funny. I don't care that you're trying to make fun of atheists with a joke but you're just coming off as not having a sense of what's funny and what is a bad joke.
2007-09-25 12:05:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
A man walking on the beach was deep in prayer. Then God spoke to him saying that because he had always been faithful, one wish would be granted to him.
The man said he wanted a bridge to Hawaii so he could drive there. God said his materialistic wish was too difficult and it would take too many natural resources, and that he should think of another wish.
The man thought for a time, then said he wished that he could understand his wife, know her feelings, what she wants, and why she gives him the silent treatment and says nothing is wrong.
The Lord thought, then replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?"
2007-09-25 09:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by regaloid 3 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Great Joke. I laughed out loud and I consider myself a submarine catholic who occasionally comes up for a wedding or a funeral.
2007-09-25 10:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by Dimi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Cute
†
2007-09-25 09:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by Jeanmarie 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I thought it was a cute joke, meant to harm nobody! Everyone get their chip off their shoulder and laugh.Thanks.
2007-09-25 09:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by BNic 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'd hear a version of this joke before but it stll made me laugh!
2007-09-25 11:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Moderately funny, nearly a good move on the atheist part, but one would've thought that he would have known better than to run from a bear - or wasted the opportunity of "real evidence".
2007-09-25 09:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Thank you sweetie ,you did Make me laugh. You are so cute and I love you personality!!!
2007-09-25 09:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by Angel 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Very funny!... And a good metaphor for the intolerant and destructive behavior of religious people!
2007-09-25 09:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by CiberNauta 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋