I have been in a relationship for nine years with a man I thought I knew. The first three years were rough, but great. I felt like he had so much respect for me. Later, he met some new friends and started disappearing and disrespecting me. I have to nag to get help with bills and I always feel like I was playing second best to his friends and ex-wife. He never seemed happy with me, but he's always happy when he is with his friends. He recently met a new friend a year ago who he works with and took a trip to Florida. I asked to come, but he told me it was an all guy trip. I later found out that females were also in Florida hanging out with him. I also found out from his coworkers that he has been hanging out at strip bars on and off duty with this same man. I feel that I am the only one hurting. He calls sometimes for my son and tells me that we will work things out, but we are not together. He also said that he had to get his own place because I threw him out. Shold I move on?
2007-09-25 02:04:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you should move on because as hard as it may be to accept, he moved on a long time ago and is just too spineless to actually admit it. He wants you to be 'the bad guy' and be the one to officially end it.
Why would you want to hold out hope for someone who has lied to you, disrespected you and treated you badly? You deserve someone better than that.
Move on with your life don't let it pass you by.
2007-09-25 02:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by H B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds so sad. I think you guys have grown apart, or He feels that he is missing out on something. Unfortunately, some men, are totally stupid and think the grass is greener on the other side, come to find out, its all the same. Same responsabilities, same bills. Once you have a child its not all about you and him, its about the kid. Yes, you should move on. Yes, you should get your **** together and do the right thing for you and your son. he thinks its all about partying, fine. Let him. He will come back, and more than likely, with bagage (maybe another child on way) he wants you to understand he made a mistake... remember. No way! Think of you and your child. Be selfish like he is now.. send him packing! Good luck.
2007-09-25 02:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by Hermosa bori 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is time to move on and be happy. If you stay you are just going to keep being miserable. Let him go have is fun for now. He will grow tired of it. If he doesn't, then you are better off being away from him. He is a big boy, he can take care of himself. This is all new to him so he likes it....for now. i know it is hard, but let him go. Hanging on will only make it worse for the both of you. You will work it out? Sounds to me that he wants you to stay until he is ready to come back. No way. I wouldn't have it at all! Move on. Get happy with a new guy who treats you the way you should be treated. Good luck.
2007-09-25 02:12:53 · answer #3 · answered by Paula D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was his decision for the 2 of you to get separate places then you need to look at the big picture. He wants his cake and eat it too. He wants to go out anytime without you nagging him but when the friends aren't available then he will be on the phone or your doorstep wanting to do something. If you didn't throw him out then I would be telling my son the truth and I would move on. You don't need someone in your life that is gonna lie to make the situation look good to their benefit. I know that its hard to move on after that many years, but everything happens for a reason. There is someone else out there for you and your son. This person will give you the attention that you and your son need and want. Good Lucky My Friend
2007-09-25 02:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by dsouthward16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its really hard to leave someone with whom you have been for 9 years...but first you need to answer some questions..if you dont leave:-
1)will he disrespect you more?
2)will he start an affair soon?
3)will he ever gain interest in you back
4)do u have to loose your dignity?
5)when u go out for dinner..will u actually feel like a couple
the question is not if you love him or not.
its simple its not working....you are sticking on to the hope that things will 'work out' but once u fall out of love..its nearly impossible to get back.
answer the questions..if u leave him:-
1)will u be able to forget him and start a fresh life?
2)will u be able to support your child alone
3)will u be able to love someone or get married?
if u leave him,atleast u wont be depressed and upset because of the everyday fights
and u could regain your 'self' back..
you are the one who has to decide..and your life will follow your decisions.
i,personally think you should move on..because you deserve better..much better..every women does.
so,good luck and god bless!â¥
2007-09-25 02:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by ♥panicqueen♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely. Y u asking such an obvious question? No matter what common belief may lead you to think, love is not supposed to hurt you. Love should be a grand experience that even when you are angry or disappointed with your loved one you still feel that you are the luckiest person in the world to have him. This is the total opposite because he has no regard for your feelings and this should not be a one sided relationship. So do yourself the favour of moving on cause he can't do for you what you can do for yourself............Love yourself!
2007-09-25 02:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you aren't married to him and your son wasn't fathered by him you aren't obligated to stay and try to work this out anymore.
Let me just say this:
Going on an "all guy" trip to Florida with other women in disrespectful.
Not willingly helping out with family finances is irresponsible.
Choosing his friends over you is immature.
So ask yourself. Do you want a disrespectful, irresponsible, immature guy? I'd take your son and move on.
2007-09-25 02:16:49 · answer #7 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Monica you hurt because you love him and when you love someone you give them the power to hurt you but that's OK it takes courage..Now, the problem is this guy doesn't give a crap about you or your son, don't get me wrong but maybe you and your son need some time apart from him..Sometimes when you are very close to an object you cant see it, you have to move back, give yourself some room and then you can see what it is...and make a decision ....Good Luck.........
2007-09-25 02:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by boscowood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean should you leave? You never had anything with this guy to begin with, he has used you as his own blow up betty doll, and you let him! no one here is to blame but you! you allow this insanity to continue, so it is you that needs to shut it down! Let me break it down to you in plain english-he doesnt want you! who knows maybe never has? So my recomondation would be to move on with your life, stop looking back at what you thought you had? and start looking at the big picture, such as what is best for you, what you can do to better your life and future, do you really want to be in a relationship with a boy? cause this is what he is, he is a boy that you need to send back to mommy! now, go on out and find yourself a man!
2007-09-25 02:22:10 · answer #9 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wasted nine years trying to make it work when he didn't care weather you relationship worked or not. He is with someone else now time for you move on and find someone for yourself and also for your son that will show him how a relationship should work.
2007-09-25 02:12:16 · answer #10 · answered by old crow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋