How do I stop my young daughters from being 'boy-crazy'?

Question

We went on a family holiday and my 2 daughters age 7 and 5 spent a lot of time with their 12year old boy-crazy cousin.
As a result they are now talking a lot (too much!) about who they love and who loves them. Its becoming a daily dicussion. Before this holiday it was never even mentioned - they are so young.
I have said that they are too young for this - as they are too young to have a boyfriend. I have also talked of boys just being friends and I also try to distract them - but I fear the influence of their 'cool' cousin has really influenced them.
I feel as though this has been introduced far too young - how do I help them regain their childhoods?
Advice please?

I agree with you Elana, but isnt 5 and 7 just a little too young?

That is good advice Kristina - thankyou!
On the bright side - the boys they like are nerds! Both of my girls like the quiet, well behaved, bookish types. Not a bad-boy in sight! Something to be grateful for I suppose...
Thankyou for all your words of wisdom. I was starting to feel that I had 'let them down' somehow by allowing them to be exposed to this so young - but you have cheered me up. And I have realised also - at least they are actually telling me!

Answer 1

wow. good luck sorting through the answers. There are some crazy ones.
They idolize there cousin. Plain and simple. They want to be 'grown-up' and do what grown-ups do and say. That's why kids play dress up and have tea parties and stuff. I would tease them about it a little, being that young you are still the biggest influence in their lives. Just don't do it too much.
Oh and telling them they are pretty and that you love them isn't going to keep them away from boys.

Answer 2

I am a mother also. My lil one is 2 about to turn 3. I feel your pain and I haven't even approached that situation yet. At the moment she thinks boys are yuck. LOL. I am a person of faith and I believe in this old saying.." You teach a child the path to follow, and they might or may stray away from that path, but if taught what is right and what is wrong then they will come back to that path." Simply put you sound like a concern parent and you should teach your girls about respect, talk to them about their feelings, and let them know that they are loved. Some girls ( not saying yours) feel that they are not love and they seek the attention of males to fulfill a void that they are missing. My lil girl has the most beautiful eyes and I tell her often how beautiful she is, or how I love her, or how smart I think she is. I do this one because it is true and the other reason is that one day when one of those sly boys trys to tell her how beautiful her brown eyes are ,, then she can say," Boy I already know that, my Mama tells me that all of the time, so try another line." This time and age you should be concerned times are way different then when our parents use to go thru. I hope this helps. Thank care and keep raising those beautiful girls that might make a cure for cancer one day. Bless it Be.

Answer 3

I agree that 5 and 7 is too young, maybe it will pass the less they are around this older cousin, and they will go back to their young little selves, and maybe this is the opportunity for you to talk to them about the potential for it to be dangerous, some boys don't like to be chased by boy crazy girls, or they can take advantage of their innocence, especially older boys. It's hard to say how serious it could be but cover your basis and make sure you keep your girls safe, it could be nothing to worry about but these days anything is possible, knowledge is power, so give your girls the knowledge, that this could potentially be dangerous.

Answer 4

You are right to be concerned 5 and 7 is way to young to think of boys! BUT they are also at that age where any one who is over 10 to them is a mature adult and they will want to mimic them. Do not panic though this behavior in no way means they will become hookers, it just means you have to find a different way to deal with it, try stressing that boys have cooties (my daughter is 6 and believes that boys carry cooties and that their only mission in life is to spread them). Cooties is a good way to go, also monitor what they watch a lot of shows like Zoey 101 while it is a sweet show it deals with boyfriend/girlfriend issues. I know you want to keep them young, hell if I could lock my daughter away I would. Now here is the tricky part, if they see that it makes you uncomfortable they may continue to do it just to get a reaction, so if they are talking about it around you, change the subject to something that is more fitting for their age range. The other thing that has worked for me is this: my daughter is 6 and in the 2nd grade I tell her that school is for learning not for boys, she has this poem that she says all the time "Girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider" (I don't know where she got it but it makes her laugh)

Answer 5

I don't think you can stop things like this. Whatever you do, don't make them feel guilty about their feelings!!!

I remember, I was 13 when my mom found out I had a crush on some boy (my friend told her) and my mom cried and cried and told me that I was 'bad'.

I felt so awful and dirty after seeing my mom cry like that. Now, I realize my mom was just crazy. But when you're a kid, you see things differently. I was always scared to death to tell my mom anything.

Answer 6

Its a faze the are going through right now. I have two girls, 14 and 17. For me its an everyday thing. Its heartbreaking to know and watch your child make mistakes that will hurt them emotionally. Sometime lessons are better learned from experience than taught to. Continue talking to them and letting them know what the right thing to do is. Let them know that you are the mom and all this you have been through many times. It's your job as their parent to guide them and help them make the right decisions. That's all you can do. They are going to listen, but they are also going to make up their own minds on what what decisions they make. I"m the dad. It drives me crazy to see these boys coming to my house, knowing what they want, to see my daughters. I've had to step back and let them make mistakes. My 14 yo watches what happens to my 17 yo. I've let her know that she is the example.
At 7 and 5 you have it good if all they want to do is look and talk. Wait until they get 15 and 13. I've learned that all I can do is guide them and help them make the right decision. Good luck

Answer 7

We have not had too big of a problem, yet. Our girls are 8 & 11. We have however basic guideline for them to live by, including dress and behavior.
Don't get me wrong we love new styles and trends. We just make sure the girls still behave like ladies.
God plays a leading role in our lives too. The girls learn too that it is OK to have a crush on a boy, but they know when it becomes inappropriate. We talk alot and I usually know when a boy is sparking their interest.

Answer 8

I don't know, but I'm watching to see if other people have a good answer because I'm right there with you. Only mine are 9 & 11, an all girl convent is becoming more and more attractive to me.

Answer 9

Is there another cousin, or young adult, who is not so boy crazy that they could spend some time with. Maybe if they see that not all young girls are boy crazy (doubtful on that one, I know I was) they will slow down on the boy talk. Also, try talking to them about other things, besides boys, that interest them and then get them involved with that. A lot of children get into "trouble" when they have idle time.... just think back to when you were a child.

Answer 10

It isn't a big deal.. it is completely normal. They haven't lost their childhood, it is a part of growing up. Just make it clear that you are not going to allow them to have a boyfriend, but nothing is wrong with showing interest in someone else. They will grow out of it eventually.