My34 year old son is an addict how do I help him-to stay clean?

Question

My son hase been an addict for manny years. he has reasently returned home and I am finding it very diffacult to cope. He has been in manny re habes and has had counseling for years. He is now on methadone with a reduction of 5mill each fortnight. this seems to be working, but now he is drinking alcole to exess. I feer that he is now an alcholic. he gets very depressed. I cant see him out on the streets but I dount know how much more i can take.it is the worst thing in life to see your own chiled suffer and not be able to make it right.

Answer 1

I'm sure it's one of the toughest thing's a parent would have to endure, beside's losing their child.. Addiction is nothing short of horrible. Rehabs don't appear to help much unless the person is ready to help themselves, Which I'm sure you've heard this time and time again.. Your son will have to be ready to stay away from people that are users, and at his age that's a hard thing to do . I would say the only thing that helped someone I know that was up in age, and had a hugh problem was AA meetings, they are constantly with people that really want to quit their nasty habit's...
I know there are also many there that are just attending because the court ordered them to do so, But then there is always a person that you son could attatch himself to that really made a change in their lives .. I think this is a big step for an addicted person, Seeing someone else that was willing to make a change, and in the end feel much better for their change .. Change is such a hard thing to do and we all know drugs are so addictive..
I will pray for you and your son that he finds happiness in his life without drugs or alcohol..
Some people that are addicts feel their is no other life, and they really do have to make some major changes to get away from these terrible habits
The changes would have to mean ridding themselves of all the so called friends they are around.. If an addict would just try this for a year and see the difference in how much better they feel physically and mentally , they would never go back to this life
A mother that never gives up is a true mother . But do keep your rules.. You are the boss..
GOOD LUCK TO YOU
I FEEL YOUR PAIN

Answer 2

Unfortunately there is not a lot you can do besides what has already been mentioned. It really is up to your son. I have watched many addicts spiral out of control. some fight it and make it, others stay that way till they die. Just love and support is all that you can offer. Try to discourage him from hanging with his old friends. Try to interest him in something else, maybe a sport or a hobby. Right now his mental focus is on all the stuff he sucks at. Try to get him doing something he is really good at. It really is all up to him though.
Also remember to look after your own health and if it does become too much there is no shame in showing him the door. Perhaps there is a relative he could stay with, even if only for a couple of weeks.
I wish you both good luck.

Answer 3

In West Australia there is a medical intervention called the Naltrexone treatment. The Naltrexone is inserted in the groin area and lasts for 12months ....Many people travel from interstate and overseas for this treatment and I understand that as far as heroin; methamphetamine..those types of drugs the effect is immediate....if the person uses they just do not get anymore effect from that drug..this gives the person a chance to physically clean up and then seek other professional treatment like counselling...
I know people who are on the programme and it has turned their lives around..
There has been much interest from overseas and I understand the implants are only lasting 6 weeks or so but here implants are lasting 12months. The implants are helping alcohol and nicotine addicts as well..


((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))) for you. I really do wish you well.
Maybe it is time for you to talk to someone..find a support group for YOU..I am sure there are other parents out there who need to talk too..start your own support group maybe..

Answer 4

i'm empathy to your condition, and what you feel
i know it must be hard to be you, well thats what my parents feel when my brother become an addict to drugs.

yes i do agree to others answerer, yes your son in that age, idealy, should taking care of him self, and according to your case (maybe) your son still don't want leave that habbit,

as my parents did, the first step is you have to break the chain which facilitate your son beome an addict.

MOTIVATION.. why? because as i told you before maybe your son still dont have any motivation to leave that habbit, so the second is, as you did, go find support system such ash to psychiatrist or pschologist, or to the rehab centre, this is important because it will help your son to grow MOTIVATION in himself

Or communicate heart to heart with your son:
For example :
When the night come, and your son is going to bed, hug him close as if he is still young boy, and tell him :

“ Son.. I want you to appologize me if for all this time I can not make you happy, and I want you to appologize me too, maybe when you were a child I made a mistake to you and now you pay a revenge.. I know it is very hard and painfull, between life and death when I delivery you, but I didn’t regret it, why? because I love u, and proud to have a child like you… you were cute when u were young.. now I really sad and hurting me to see you like this, I want to help you to get out of this, we as a team.
Son I want you to know, that I care about you so much…”

Mrs Chriss.. you done so well, and what you did is very hard, and I salout you, don’t give up, because I know its not easy and it took so many time to cure…

Answer 5

My parents were drug dealers when I was growing up as well as my ex husband years later-after he became an addictted. His parents always tried to help him. Even when he was in jail. He stole from them, as well as his elderly grandmother, and I am talking about the fact that he stole thousands from them.

First of, there is nothing wrong with wanting to help your son to get clean. But, first, he has to want it. From there, you can set him up in a drug program. Make sure to give him tough love. A drug addict will come up with excuses to help him or her way. My ex was always saying that he parents made him do it, because they wouldn't buy him a car, or clothes, or so on.

The truth was, they couldn't because of the fact that he stole from them all the time. His excuse of the reason that he stole from his grandmother was because she wouldn't buy him any clothes for him to go to job interviews with, she just wouldn't buy expensive clothes, Walmart wasn't good enough for him.

It wasn't until his parents did tough love did he finally turned himself around. They quit helping him, because the money, clothes and so on, he would sell or trade for drugs. It was the hardest decision that they ever made. But, it was the right one.

I would suggest that even though you want to help your son, that you contact a local drug program that will advise you on what to do. They have experience in this. Also, they may be able to find a support group that has other parents going through the same thing.

Until your son wants help there isn't much you can do for him. The drugs have taken him over and so in a way he is not your son any more until he gets on the right path.

Please make sure to contact a local drug program so that you don't end up taken advantage of.

Answer 6

The only person who can really make it right is your son. He has to admit to his problems and seek advise from the correct places before he can begin to enjoy life again. I know it must be hard watching a loved one go through this kind of pain but the only thing you can do is to be there when he needs your support.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry to hear about this, Chrissy.

At 34 years old, though, your son should be old enough to take care of himself. Unfortunately, he won't get better until he decides he wants to. That's the way it is with all addicts. Short of dropping him on a desert island or in the middle of a Tibetian monestary, there isn't a whole lot you can do to help him until he is ready to help himself.

Answer 8

You are a very strong woman and I take my hat off to you for sticking by your son. Just be there for him, I know it is hard but he needs help right now. Just don;t let him out of your sight. always have someone sit with him so he is not on his own. Stick in there and try and find a group in your area for family of addicts. you will get many tips there. good luck and god bless. x

Answer 9

First you have to realize you are not at fault. Seek out a support group or codependent group for your self. Do not feel ashamed, there are many mothers going through the same thing. You need them and they need you. You will learn how to help your son by helping you self first.
You learn to understand how to detach with love.
God bless you and your family.

Answer 10

hi my son too was an addict the best advice i can give is not to fund his habit !i went for counselling myself i found that helped you know your son is in there somewhere the one you loved so keep in there ,loads of cuddles and patience he will get through this with guidance keep your chin up i wish you both well my son had a hard struggle but he got there/