My partner's grandmother is in her eighties and really spiteful. I have never met her.
She hates me (although she's never met me) because I am 11 years old than him. When we met all she did was tell him to dump me, I was too old for him I was a bad influence blah de blah.
She was furious when he did not do as he was told and kept sending him letters referring to me as "that person" and "that woman" and urging him to get rid of me and get a girlfriend of his own age. He begged her to accept his choice of girlfriend and to meet me and give me a chance and she refused. "That woman will never cross my door" she declared.
When she was told I was pregnant she went ballistic and apparently said "I hope she loses it".
When our son was born she was furious (as she was hoping I would lose the baby) and declared she would have nothing to do with him or me.
So our son is 10 months old now and has never seen her. I find it very hurtful. Why is she like this?
2007-09-24 23:52:34 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
tbh I think everyone in the family considers her as a bit of an old witch. She was apparently horrible to my partner's mum when she was pregnant with him (because she was 19 and unmarried at the time) sent her a letter calling the baby "the thing" and "It". the hurtful thing is that she was prepared to meet and be friendly to my partner's ex because she was the same age as him but we have had a baby together and she won't even meet me or her great grandson. I feel bad that my son has to be related to this spiteful woman.
2007-09-25 00:02:15 · update #1
It was so cruel for her to say "I hope she loses it" as our son was a miracle - I'd suffered infertility for many years and was told we had no chance of me conceiving naturally so getting pregnant was a real miracle! And she knew this!
2007-09-25 00:04:02 · update #2
My partner has disowned her now. He says she's a spiteful old bag and he never wants to see her again.
2007-09-25 00:05:18 · update #3
She also dislikes me because I'm Welsh, lol she says "You can't trust the Welsh"!! Its funny really.
2007-09-25 00:12:20 · update #4
there is NO reason for her to be like this, its ok to voice how she feels in the begining, she is his grandmother and entitled to an opinion, BUT, once he explained how he felt, she should have kept her nasty opinioins to herself, she doesnt have to be your best buddy, but she doesnt have to be so viscious and nasty either, and you would think, a little baby would have mellowed her, it should have, but it hasnt. She has formed all these opinions haveing never met you, do the only rational thing you can, ignore this nasty spiteful old woman who wished your baby harm. She has done nothing positive for you or your new family, she wont be missed
2007-09-24 23:58:57 · answer #1 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices. The first option is to write her a letter, explaining to her how your remarks have made you feel, and ask her how she would feel if, through no fault of her own, she received such messages from someone she has never even seen.
It is unbelievable that she can be so horrible toward you and now your son, simply because of your age and nationality. You should mention this in your letter, and ask what she bases her opinions about you on. You could also ask her to consider the impact her behaviour has had on her grandson, and whether or not she truly finds it fair on him. To make sure she at leasts sees the letter, type it up and send it- that way, if by some chance she knows your handwritting, she won't be able to tell it apart from any other letter and won't bin it or anything.
The other option is sever all ties with her. It's horrible, but it is also the fruit of her behaviour- in the end, you and your partner need to discuss the options and decide which one to try.
A possible third option is to give her an ultimatum- explain herself properly or lose all contact with her grandson.
2007-09-25 01:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by darth_timon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people ar born naturally cruel, and she is one of them. At least you have the rest of the family on your side.
It's unbelievable she got anyone to marry her in the first place, her poor husband must have had a miserable time!
Enjoy your new family, someone who can be spiteful to a baby is not worth a second thought. I bet she doesn't have any friends!
2007-09-25 01:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the only way she can get attention. No one notices her unless she's annoying them. Poor old bag. Take your son round and give her one last chance. Tell her its her one last chance, to her face, on her doorstep with your son in the car. Say to her, come and see him, now or never.
Be prepared for never but tell her that sending malicious threats by post is a matter for the police.....Its called stalking!
2007-09-25 00:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she sounds bitter and resentful, ignore the lady she will grown older and more alone the more she pushes her family away, she should be joyfull she has been able to see her great grandchild born not be horrid to you cos she doesnt feel its right due to how much older than your partner you are.
She sounds horrible and I can only feel sorry for her as she is missing out on a little baby and has lost her grandson, dont worry yourself again about it, she's quite clearly the one loosing out
2007-09-25 04:14:04 · answer #5 · answered by hopper13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom needless to say loves him and accepts him. If she did no longer she could have gave him the boot a protracted time in the past. understand her determination and allow her determine it out for herself. you are able to no longer exchange people. All you're able to do is be there for her whilst she desires you to be. the only ingredient i could ought to declare nonetheless is that your mom is awaiting lots from you. You needless to say do no longer understand him, nor ought to you. you mustn't be asked to abide by ability of his policies. he's not your Father and you mustn't ought to publish together with his crap.
2016-10-09 19:40:47 · answer #6 · answered by liptak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess she was brought up with a very strict set of different values to people nowadays.
Be strong, as a family unit, it's her loss in the long run.
Does she have control of the family money and that's why she is trying to control everything to be her way?
2007-09-25 00:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by pirate_princess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing she sounds absolutely horrid. What do his parents make of it? Do you get along okay with them and the rest of the family? If so you may just have to accept that he will only be visiting her on his own, her loss really.
2007-09-24 23:59:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes set in her ways and nothing you could do will ever change that. just act like she not his grandma and just a bitter old woman. you dont need someone with that attitude around you anyway. my kids who are 12 and 16 have a GRANDMA WHO LIVES IN THE SAME TOWN BUT ONLY SEES THEM ON HOLIDAYS. they dont even care if they see her. shes greek and has her own ways in life and they dont fit in. when they think of her ,they say grandma or what ever you want to call her. their better off wthout her.
2007-09-25 00:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like my ex's mother. She was jealous because suddenly she felt like she wasnt centre of attention and because she didnt have a personality she had to be spiteful and make up rumours about me. Her 'darling boy' stood by and let her abuse and threaten me, but if I dared stand up for myself he would go ballistic at me. I finally had enough and finished with him, he destroyed my things, tried to give my cat to the PDSA, they shout abuse at me if they see me out ( i am going to see about getting an injunction - I have let them bully me long enough).
Funnily enough, my new boyfriend is 7 years younger than me and his family are lovely to me.
She is just a nasty, spiteful woman and whilst it hurts that she has never seen your son, it is her problem. She has ended up with no one because she is nasty and downright hateful.
Good luck x
2007-09-25 00:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋