I'm 17 and at college studying to be a personal trainer, and in the afternoons we all go to the gym to work out. There's this guy (about 24/25 years old) who's a local there, who i'm guessing fancies me, but he's so rude and disrespectfull towards me about it. When ever I walk past him, he'll say loadly to me, something like "Yes, nice ****!" or "Nice t*ts!". He always stares at me when I work out too and makes seductive looks at me, and it's makes me uncomfortable and not want to work out. I've always pretended he was invisable to me and not given him the satisfation of a responce, but it's really annoying me. Is this 'acceptable' or am I over reacting?
2007-09-23 23:20:03 · 19 answers · asked by xXxStacixXx 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
No, that's vulgar- I'm a pretty forward guy by all accounts but would never dream of saying this seriously to a girl I didn't know. Report him to the gym supervisor.
2007-09-23 23:27:05 · answer #1 · answered by David 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a really sensitive issue. You really have to ask yourself - would you feel safe if you and he were in the same space together? It shouldn't matter who he is - it's the way that he acts towards you and how ill at ease he makes you feel.
You could ask the manager of the gym to have a discrete word with the man and tell him to moderate his behaviour and language - if you feel that would do any good. Another alternative is to have a chat with a police officer and get his or preferably her advice.
Use your common sense in gauging the level of personal threat this guy poses. If he's bigger and stronger than you are, it's likely he knows this. You may be accused of misinterpreting his interest or over-reaction, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
He may just be flirting [clumsily] or doing it purely for fun (how do you respond to these remarks of his?), that's why I'd say start small but he may also be a real danger that you would find difficult to contain. Treating the situation as if it never happened and the man as invisible doesn't make it or him go away. Get it dealt with pronto!
2007-09-23 23:47:04 · answer #2 · answered by cornflake#1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely not acceptable behavior and should be reported to the gym's management. Among the rules (which should be posted near the entrance to the gym), there should be a rule stating that you will not harass other customers or make them feel uncomfortable in any way. The manager should have a stern talk with him, and if the situation continues, this man might lose his gym membership. At least, that's the way things would be taken care of at our local gym.
2007-09-24 08:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
behaviour like this from this man is certainly not acceptable,you need to confront the manager of the gym and put in a complaint as such comments as he's making is actually sexual abuse,may even be placed under slander,you have a right to use the gym without being spoken to like this and feeling uncomfortable,if you don't feel comfortable placing a complaint to the manager,have a chat about it with your friends & see if they can come up with something,best of luck.
2007-09-23 23:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time he says something, tell him to call The Make-A-Wish Foundation. Then report him to the gym staff. If they don't warn him, you can sue the gym. Just be sure you keep records of the date, times, and what he says to back yourself up. A witness doesn't hurt either.
2007-09-23 23:30:48 · answer #5 · answered by hammond_eggor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put in a complaint. This is highly inappropriate in a professional environment. This is not good for business. If you tell someone else, he will lose custom. Send an anonymous or false name email to the manager or the company.
2007-09-23 23:43:02 · answer #6 · answered by Leah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if its bothering you then its not acceptable. there are a couple of things you can do ,depending on what sort of person you are( confident, shy etc.) you could try asking him straight out not to do that, you could ask someone else to have a quiet word (preferably a man in your party),or you could complain about him to the gym staff, but i would only do the last one if you have tried the other things first. good luck hun x
2007-09-23 23:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not rude, that's illegal! he is a prize idiot and i'm sorry to have to learn about men like this at such a young age but they're everywhere. make sure you don't wear any revealing clothing to give him the satisfaction, and carrying on ignoring him. its all about him trying to have power over you and making you feel uncomfortable. stay as far away as possible and you should report this harassment to the gym manager.
2007-09-23 23:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah J 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its not acceptable and the guy is definitely a complete jerk. How many women are going to respond to comments like that in a positive way? None, thats how many. Hence, his disguised homosexuality is revealed.
2007-09-24 02:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not acceptable. He thinks that the gym is a place to behave like a lounge lizard. Complain to management it is sexual harrassment and just plain weird.
2007-09-24 04:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋