I think that it would be rude for her to choose the same color blue that I had or the green and purple that our other sister in law had. She does not think so. She has money and we didnt when we got money so her having the exact same color dresses only better would be like a "see I am better than you" deal for me. Just wondering if there was any etiquette on that.
2007-09-23 22:17:43 · 24 answers · asked by mandible62604 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People who take offence when none is intended are people who expend a lot of energy on being offended. Why was your reaction to take offence? Why does your brain immediately tell you "Here is something to be pissed off about?"
Train your brain to be less confrontational. The reaction of a peaceful mind would be "Imitation is the sincerest form of compliment" or "Great minds think alike."
Instead of resenting the greater good fortune of your sister in law, you should be happy for her. Negative thoughts + negative feelings = negative person. You don't have to be a negative person, you can CHANGE the way you think. This will, in turn, change the way you feel. Believe me, being a positive person is much more pleasant.
2007-09-24 01:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the only real etiquette surrounding a bride's preparations of her wedding that I'm aware of is that it is HER day, and whatever she wants she gets. So just try to be supportive of whatever she does do, and look like a good person. Plus remember that no matter how much money she has to spend on the wedding does not take away from the meaning of your own day for you.
I get the feeling you do not really get along with sister-in-law? That makes it hard to accept these things. Just be the bigger person and smile, and think deep down how all the money in the world cannot make her wedding more beautiful than yours was.
Source: Extreme disappointment over a whim decision of elder sister this year choosing to walk down the aisle to a song my entire family has known I wanted to walk down the aisle to since I was seven years old. That was the only thing I wanted for my own wedding.
2007-09-23 22:29:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should be able to choose whatever colors she wants. It is not her fault that you got married first. Don't act so immature. Let it go. It is not that important. Most people will probably not even remember the color of your dresses. I can tell you that of all the many weddings I have attended, I do not remember what color any of the dresses were, except the ones I stood in. The wedding is all about the bride and groom, not the attendants.
2007-09-23 22:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its rude. In fact I would have all my former bridesmaids give her a call and offer to resell their dresses to her friends, then the bridesmaids will be happy because the ones who wore the dresses the first time can recoup some of their costs and the second ones wearing them won't be getting ripped off by buying new ugly bridesmaids dresses. Let's face it, buying a bridesmaid dress is not an exciting experience, and no you really can't ever wear those dresses ever again.
2007-09-27 17:00:35 · answer #4 · answered by poisonous_tree_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well
1. her wedding is her wedding she should have what she wants
2. take it as a compliment, that she loved what you had so much she wants to have something just as special
3. if she really is doing it to be spitefull, well then claim it and take her thunder away, mention things to family members in a nice way like "I'm so flattered that Suzie chose the same dresses for her bridesmaids that I did""It's so sweet that she wanted the same colors that I had""It makes me feel good that she loved my colors so much she's using them in her own wedding"
My guess is that if it is a spite thing, a few of these phrases dropped in the right ears will make her double back and start changing things up.
2007-09-24 02:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by L H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really dont think its rude. No one has rights to any particular colors. If she happens to love a particular color for the bridesmaids, why cant she have it? You are probably the only one who will be thinking her dresses are better, and thats because of your own insecurities; not hers. Every wedding is different and you should appreciate each for what it is. No need to compare.
2007-09-24 02:11:49 · answer #6 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one but you cares.
No one really cares about or remembers what your wedding was like. No one really will care or notice if hers is better. No one will notice that she had the same colors as someone esle.
This is an issue you have with her and goes deeper than dress color. Maybe you resent her in someway?
Get over it. So what if it is rude (which it may or may not be depending on her true motives - she may just not be that creative).
No one but you cares.
2007-09-24 00:15:48 · answer #7 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's simply a compliment on her part. After I got married, my cousin and sister-in -law both went out and chose the exact same wedding invitations that I had. No one noticed or really cares. The whole purpose of the wedding is to see the bride and groom get married.
2007-09-23 22:26:30 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.Blessed 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Unless it is within the same month or two, then no, I don't think it is rude. She just has a common taste as you or your other sister-in-law have.
I looked around the Post website and didn't see any etiquette issues regarding this.
2007-09-23 22:29:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly fine for her to pick the same colors. It's her wedding and if that's what she wants then why can't she have it. My friend and all of her sisters had the same color bridesmaid dresses and flowers at their weddings because they all loved it. Nobody cared.
2007-09-24 00:39:49 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋