I'm a bad mother - how do I get my 3 year old to start eating healthy foods?

Question

I was so strict with my daughter, balanced out the fruits and vegetables, meat and dairy etc. When my son was born life was chaotic, he developed epilepsy and became difficult (gorgeous, but had behavioural issues). My husband was away a lot and it was easier to give my son what he wanted - mac cheese, crackers with too much salt, food with pastry. Now he won't eat any fruit except apple, and will only eat vegetables mixed in dishes like zucchini slice or pasta. He won't drink milk, he only drinks water. He craves sweets and chocolate which I try not to give into but sometimes it buys peace. I always clean his teeth.

I know I did the wrong thing. So how do I start getting him back to eating healthy foods - obviously he won't just start eating fruit salad and throwing back the broccoli in one day. Any advice would be appreciated!

My kids are naturally very skinny so it's not a weight issue, but a health issue. I think he gets too much fat, too much salt and it is setting him up for bad eating habits. Please be kind :)

Answer 1

Firstly, there is NO way that you are a bad mother because you let your child eat what he wants, at least you feed your child. Drinking water is fantastic! I wish I could get my son to drink it more often.

My son sounds very similar to yours, if I let him, he will eat McDonalds chicken nuggets every night of the week. What I found out though is that my son tends to eat healthier, more fruit and even raw veges when he's at daycare, but I get him home and all he wants is chocolate and lollies.

I don't force my son to eat stuff but I won't give him as many lollies as he wants, I actually have to bargain with my son, for example: If you eat two bites of potato, I'll let you watch spiderman. etc.... bit of a bribe but it's working slowly. Also I found that my son ate better when we were all sitting at the table, my partner and I used to sit in the lounge in front of the TV but we don't now 'cause our boy likes to eat his food with us, even it's it one piece of corn or a chew on a wee bit of broccoli.

good luck, he'll soon come right and will be eating you out of house and home.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter whether you are a terrible mother or not - don't put so much energy into beating yourself up - put your energy into coming up with a plan and you will need tons of energy to stick to it. Exercise and distract and healthy fruits and vegetables. I cut out ALL red meat, and I have to tell you that while there are health benefits from not eating red meat, what REALLY helped was how much I had to actually THINK - there was no more mindlessly inhaling burgers and meatball subs, etc. - all of what was formerly our unthinking fallbacks, and replaced these fallbacks with healthy white chicken. -Thinking turned out to be an added benefit that I didn't even realize that was probably more healthful than the actual benefit of cutting the red meat. Also, no soda, no fried foods, and most importantly, just get out there and learn to hula hoop, and ride a scooter, roller blade, go for hikes, bike ride, lots of fun activities for mom and daughter to create memories around while accomplishing this important goal.

Answer 3

I would start saying if you want this cookie you have to eat this broccoli and don't waiver - if he doesn't eat ALL of the broccoli then absolutely no cookie. I would start off this way and eventually stop buying the sweets.

In my family if we want dessert after dinner then we go to a local ice cream shop - maybe once a week or go to a pastry shop so it is a treat and not something every day. Otherwise there are no dessert items in the house.

Good luck and remember it will be hard at first but after a couple of weeks he will know that you are the parent and make the rules - he is the child that cannot manipulate and throw tantrums to get his way.

Answer 4

i am not sure if it's gonna be different thing in treating older kids.. anyway ... i have a baby 10 mo, when he was 8 he just wanted to eat yogurt, oranges, apples and biscuit ... he would shut his mouth up if i forced him to eat something else ... he even cried loudly when i kept giving him things he didn't like

what i did then, i let him starving for 1-2 hours ( i know it's cruel), but then he gradually wanted to eat other things i gave him

it was quite struggling though, even though he was hungry, he still expected for his favourite food ... he just wanted to have a spoon or two of the meal i gave him

it took us a week or so until he got back on track ...

since then ... i never let him to snack between his meal time ... better he got no snack at all than not having a proper meal

about milk, do u know that there is a kind of straw thas can turn the milk flavour? u can get it from supermarket .. there are strawberry and chocolate ... it just turn the flavour, not the nutrition ...

Answer 5

Try to make the food look attractive. It's a good thing he still eats vegetables when mixed with pasta and zucchini. Try serving more of those. Try giving him some chocolate milk drink if he won't drink plain milk. Try serving fruit shakes and smoothies. He might love those.

Answer 6

Keep mixing the vegetables in with the food so he will not taste too much that works for lots of kids.Start buying healthy snacks that taste delicious.Go to a health food store and look for tasty healthy snacks.Serve fruit mixed with yogurt ,switch sugary cereals with honey bunches of oats instead.Get sugar free candy and slowly limit candy intake and offerings.Put ovalteen in his milk it tates good and is good for him.Slowly make these changes to a healthier eating habit for him and eventualy he will be eating right again.

Answer 7

It's obvious to me that you are a good mother. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You care about your son very much and want what's best for him. Otherwise, you wouldn't be concerned with his health as you are.

The only solution, which will be VERY hard for you is to be caring, compassionate, and FIRM. For example, in my house, I was forced to eat whatever my mother made me for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I could choose to not eat it, but I wasn't offered anything else. If I chose not to eat it, I would eventually become hungry and my mother would offer to heat up the leftovers or offer an equal substitute for the meal. A few times, she even made me the whole thing again.

What I'm saying is that if he won't eat what you prepare, you shouldn't offer ANYTHING else you don't approve of because it is unhealthy. It's good that he drinks plenty of water, though. DON'T START HIM ON SODA! Soda is the worst thing for any human to drink because there are so many health risks associated with it. (Diabetes being one of them.) Even diet cola or "zero" cola is bad for your health.

Answer 8

Please don't beat yourself up. You are not a bad mom. All parents bend the rules sometimes to get a little peace. Anyway, having two kids running around is a lot harder than just one.

I suggest buying an Annabel Karmel cook book. They're always full of tasty and nutritious meals and snacks. Here's the title of the one I use:

Annabel Karmel's "New Complete Baby and Toddler Meal Planner" Over 200 quick, easy and healthy recipes

You'll find all sorts of snack ideas and recipes that your whole family will love.

Take care.

Answer 9

There are books out there that you can buy that show you how to make foods fun to eat. They show how to turn them into really cute animals, or things that the kids enjoy. When the child helps to create the lunch or snack or dinner, they are usually pretty excited to eat it. You may want to try this, it worked for me. My daughter would not eat any thing good for her, but this tatic really helped.

Answer 10

slowly but graduallly,start adding different foods to his dishes,maybe add a flavoring sauce if he likes them,at least he eats apples & some veges,that's not so bad,experiment with different foods,instead of giving salt crackers,try a lo salt cracker instead,it's excellent that he's drinking water,instead of giving him sweets & chocolates try making him a nutella sandwich,see if he'll go for that,or you can buy the no sugar sweets,give it a go,best of luck :)