I have two brothers I have never met. I have talked to them on the phone a few times but that has been a year and a half ago. A girl I work with has friends that hang out with my brothers. She mentioned today about her friends talking about hanging out with my brothers. I told her that we are just very different people and their is no reason for me to force something. I agree with what I said. Still, I feel like I am missing something out of my life. I'm missing a friend, in a way. I know what you will say "it's their loss not yours." So, that can be left out of comments.
2007-09-23 18:11:15 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh, we only share a dad. They have nothing to do with my dad because their mom told them a bunch of lies. Divorces are so nasty... So, I can't go through a parent.
2007-09-23 18:12:25 · update #1
I already tried to meet them. They weren't too interested. One of them told me to stop by where he worked and I did but he wasn't working that day.
2007-09-23 18:22:04 · update #2
So what are you bothered at? You were kind of vague as to what you are feeling.
Are you assuming that your brothers don't want to know you? Maybe they are just indifferent (since they don't really know you), or perhaps they are sitting around wondering why you don't want to know them?
Why do they have to be the ones to initiate? You can try one more time, and if they feel awkward about it, well, people can be selfish and immature.
I think that it bothers you because you don't really like yourself, and when you feel rejected by other people, you think that this rejection confirms that you were right to dislike yourself.
How other people react to you has more to do with them, and what is going on in their life, than it does with you. And sometimes people have nothing in common with you, so they feel a little awkward around you. You should not take their reactions personally; how other people act says nothing about who or what YOU are.
And if you don't really like yourself, then you will act socially awkward around people that you think are better than you, which will cause them to reject you, which will make you dislike yourself more, and so on. You need to learn to like yourself first, and your positive attitude will be contagious.
2007-09-23 18:28:59 · answer #1 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could stop by where your brother works again and maybe catch him there. After all, he deserves credit for extending an invitation. It wouldn't be "forcing something" by any means. It might be a way of opening the door and he might be pleased that you took him up on the offer. As far as your dad and their mom, they have their own history, and an ugly one by the way it sounds. That is certainly not your business, so if you want to have a friendly relationship with your brothers, go right ahead. It is not the fault of you brothers that your parents do not get along with each other. You likely share the same feelings of unease, and none of you are quite sure how to approach each other. They will be glad if you break the ice.
2007-09-24 01:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by I39 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go w/ the girl at work to the bar/club or wherever they hang out and meet them once and for all. No reason to be afraid..
If you don't hit it off, it's not a huge loss since they were never there to begin with.. but if you do, how awesome would that be?.. besides talking on the phone is much different than in person. GL:)
2007-09-24 01:21:25 · answer #3 · answered by S&NFervor4Ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask your co-worker to help you meet your brothers? I'll bet she and her friends would be happy to help you out. The reason you feel like you're missing something in your life is because you ARE. Now is the time to make a move. Go ahead -- you might be really happy you did later on. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you'll know you tried.
2007-09-24 01:21:49 · answer #4 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like an easy situation to fix. You should try and meet your brothers and start to get to know them and vice versa.
They may be half-brothers, but you are still relatives. And its their loss if they don't meet you.
No matter who lied about what, the truth is much stronger than fiction. Besides, how would they ever know the truth, if they make no effort to discover it.
2007-09-24 01:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by krollohare2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks. I too have a half brother and sis. I cant talk to them because we have extreme differences with out upbringing, and meaning having a relationship with them, would mean to talk w/my father.
very dynamic.
I just made it a clear understanding this was not too be. I am at peace with that. hope that helps. a little?
2007-09-24 01:17:53 · answer #6 · answered by no name 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand this being hard. It sounds like you want to meet them and share your life with them that's natural. Instead of being up set why don't you call and arrange to meet with them. Let them know it's important to you.
Or maybe hang out with the girls when the will be with them and surprise them.
Take action ..
2007-09-24 01:20:23 · answer #7 · answered by just to know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should communicate that you would like to know them
remember in later years you may never be able to find them
as much as possible you should not hide this fro your dad
just explain your own longing and ask for assistance
2007-09-24 01:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by genntri 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curiosity is gnawing at you.
i have a half-brother I have never met and, frankly, don;t care to
2007-09-24 01:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋