My wedding is on nov. 2nd and i still haven't finished finalizing my guest list. I want less than 60 people there but my family keeps telling me to invite some great aunts & uncles that i could care less if they were there. The whole problem in the this is that our wedding reception & ceremony are at the same site, same room and there is not much space. that's why i wanted it to be a small wedding....but my immediate family on my dad's side is 30 people. What should I do????
2007-09-23 17:56:30 · 11 answers · asked by samanne05 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Tell your family that you have finalized the list and that's that.
Enjoy your day and invite who you want there.
2007-09-23 18:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by I <3 the Red Sox 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here are some things I would do:
1. If there are some aunts and uncles who have not had contact with you over the last year, even when you tried with them, delete them from the list. Sounds harsh, but if they haven't put forth the effort, why invite them?
2. Try to compromise with your parents about why certain people should be invited and who. Does your dad want to invite an aunt who has always been there for you guys and lives far away? invite her then.
3. If there are people you CANNOT stand, don't invite them because it will just leave you feeling resentful and bitter on your own wedding day!
The immediate people on your dad's side cannot be 30 people!! those must be aunts, uncles, and cousins. Narrow your list down and go from there.
Explain to your parents about the space constraints and how that needs to be honored. And hurry up with the guest list, send it out fast! This is sorta late notice!
2007-09-24 01:03:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have a large family also.......In a case like that, you can't "just have a small wedding" I also have 35 immediate people on one side. I couldn't think about picking and choosing who should come or not.
If you have a big family, you need to invite them and include them. I would suggest cutting costs somewhere else. Like, do you really need a limo or can you use that extra $300 for food at the reception.
2007-09-24 01:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Answers 2007 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditch the list and start again.
If you are paying then you get to decide who is there and who itn't.
It's one day you're in control - don't invite people just because another family member says so. You hand pick every one of your guests because them are special and you want them to share your special day.
If you're not paying for the wedding you may have to give way to a little family pressure. You may have to ask you dad to limit the number of guests/family he invites because of the space limitations.
I hope you both have the best day.
2007-09-24 01:12:03 · answer #4 · answered by shimmy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem. The in-laws either want me and my fiance to elope or invite everyone they are related to and have ever met. I'm only inviting my brothers, sister and a handful of friends. If the in-laws want everyone to come, they will need to foot the bill. Or I'm hiring a big bouncer and giving him a guestlist. If they're not on my list, they're not getting in. I might even set up a camera just to catch the looks on their faces. I can't afford to feed people I've never met!
2007-09-27 23:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by poisonous_tree_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your wedding so you get to invite who you want to. If you haven't seen Uncle Charlie for 20 years why would you want him at your wedding?
I had a similar problem when I got married, I upset a few people but it was my day and I didn't want to be forced to invite people I didn't know or like just to keep other people happy, after all, I paid for it all myself!
2007-09-24 02:34:23 · answer #6 · answered by ChocLover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. You invite only the people who matter to you, who you want as witnesses to this step in your life. And as an adult woman, you politely inform your family that this isn't a family reunion, it's your wedding, and you and your fiance are the only ones making the guest list.
2007-09-24 01:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married November 3rd, and I am also getting married at the same site as the reception. Early on I told my mother (who seemed to think I should invite everyone she's ever met) that I was not going to invite any of her friends or cousins or cousin's children (you get the drift). She thought (and probably still thinks) that I am being unreasonable. But, she left it at that. Long story short, invite whom you feel needs to be there, no one else.
2007-09-24 01:33:53 · answer #8 · answered by lady9780 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family to **** off or pay for a bigger venue. I really don't understand where all these people have these issue about weddings. I mean, you invite a few people, toast, and eat some freaking cake. Come on people, a wedding doesn't need to be difficult.
2007-09-24 01:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by fifimsp3 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family you want it to be an intimate afair, let them know space is limited and that you can only invite close family. period.
2007-09-24 10:07:13 · answer #10 · answered by L H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋