One parent (father) says I'm welcome to live at home as long as I follow the rules, help out around the house, etc (which I do). Im not a bum by the way. I could move out if I wanted, but I am working on saving up some money which is the whole point in me staying here.
The other (step-mother) parent says that grown people have their own places and that I need to go ahead and move out.
It makes me feel that I am stuck in the middle. By all rights, it is THEIR house, but like I said, dad says I am welcome to stay and that it's ok. Should I consider what step-mom says and move out or continue to take up my dad's offer?
I don't want to cause problems.
2007-09-23 16:50:16 · 13 answers · asked by florita 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hmm...this is an interesting conundrum. I would say you're fine living at home because from my ethnic background, it's normal for people up till 27 to still be living with their parents. Indian parents are a little different from typical "American" parents. I'm not saying one is right or wrong however.
I think your main problem is the stepmom. She doesn't really think that young people should have their own places-- she just wants you to get out! She wants to know that the house is just hers and your dad's, that's it. The thing is, if you move out, you'd have sated her ego and well, who knows what else that may lead up to.
How about you set some goals for yourself? Once you save "x" amount of money, find a townhome that you can make the payments to and actually have your OWN home, instead of throwing money away on rent (hence why you are there, so you don't). Make a goal for a year or a year and a half from now. REALLY save up your money to make a good down payment on a home.
I think the person who will be making the problems is your stepmother. Gosh I've never heard of stepmothers being so nasty until I came to yahoo answers. What I would do is point out to her: "Dad says it's okay and I do chores and contribute appropriately. I also work a lot to save up this money and he's fine with it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think I'm really causing any problems."
Unless you are causing real problems, she won't have anything to say. The real deal comes down it, she probably wants you out.
And btw don't feel bad. I'm 23 and still live at home-- my parents begged me to move back in!
2007-09-23 17:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The one who is stuck in the middle here is your father between you and his wife. Even though you said you don't want to cause problems if your step-mother doesn't agree with what your father told you there is a problem between your step mom and dad and I don't know how else to say this but that problem is you. Maybe you could talk to your step mom let her know that you respect her feelings and that maybe the 2 of you could come to an agreement on a move out date. If your trying to save money maybe you could tell her to let you stay there to the beginning of the year after the holidays but by all means don't just sweep this under the rug or go to your dad about it. Your step mom is the one who has the problem with it she is the one you have to deal with. Good Luck
2007-09-23 17:16:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lots of adults are staying at home with their parents now. I don't see anything wrong with it as long as all parties are happy with it. I would talk to your Dad and tell him you feel as your step-mother doesn't want you there and what should you do ask him if you should move out or if he will talk to her about it. If your Dad owned the house before they were married I wouldn't be to worried about it but if they bought it together then she should have a say in who lives there.
2007-09-23 17:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are a little too old to be living at home still. But that is not a problem if it's ok with the parents. It looks like Step mom is not too happy about it. Could it be that you do not get along too well with her? Without Kissing her A*&#s, try to be friends with her and see what you two might have in common so she can be ok with you. You probably do help around the house and all that, but do you stay in bed all day long when you are off work? Do you play that loud music in your room when you are all at home? do you clean your room? Even if it is YOUR room and the door is always closed? Do you wear those clothes that are too ghetto? (Not that I think there is anything wrong with big pants-my son loves all that stuff) However, All those small details bother even a loving parent. I wish you good luck!
2007-09-23 17:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by theperez 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Your dad just doesn't want to make waves and doesn't want to wear the black hat.
The SM wants the house to herself without another female present... to her it is about establishing territory. You can't have 2 alpha females in the house.
You need to get out of there, so try looking into some alternative options. If you have a trustworthy friend who also wants to move out, see if you two can get an apartment together.
You will need the first & last month's rent as a deposit, but see if your dad is willing to put the deposit down for you (that will cut a lot off of your wait time to get out of there).
Better yet, ask the SM to try to help you with the deposits, furnishings, and stuff like that, if she is really in a hurry to get you out of the house.
Be slick about it. Figure out how to manipulate the situation to get what you want.
2007-09-23 17:03:29 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are many molestors that are never reported. Warn your children to avoid any strangers. Be careul around relatives too. Where do you want these people to live ? It is almost impossible to find a neighborhood without children. Castration or chemical castration doesn't prevent anything. The mind still wants to take action one way or another. Lack of testosterone doesn't stop thoughts. many so called sex offenders really aren't. they may have urinated in the park ( exposed themselves ) or other harmless events.
2016-04-05 22:29:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think your step mother is wrong. There are many young adults who live with their parents for whatever reason it may be. I agree with your father, there's nothing wrong with you living at home as long as you do your part and are respectful. It's not written in stone that you have to move out of your parents house when you are over 18. As long as you aren't being disrespectful in their home and aren't getting in their personal space then I think your stepmother should be just as welcoming as your father.
2007-09-23 16:59:19 · answer #7 · answered by Amber 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you really don't want to cause problems, then find your own place with a couple of g/f's to share costs. Apparently your father and step mother aren't speaking to each other because both have a different story.
2007-09-23 17:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Put both of them in the same room at the same time and make sure that ALL of you are on the same page. Get the answer that everyone can agree on. You'll feel better if you are all on the same page!
2007-09-23 17:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you told you dad what she's telling you? She sounds like a b..tch. As long as you're saving money with a goal in mind, I'd stay. Hey that's what dads are for after all.
2007-09-23 16:59:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋