My gf keeps arguing with me about becoming a cop. She keeps saying that I am going to change and she is never going to see me. I take a train to see her so takes about 2 hours to get to her house. I tell her that it gets tiring going to travel. She says that she is not going to see bc the academy is alot of work and its going to keep me busy. Plus she has this girl she work with where she tell my gf that her bf is a p.o. and she never see's them. So I keep hearing this all the time, does anyone who is a p.o. or know a p.o. with a gf, wife, wife a kids, have any probelms with there spouse? Also she keeps using the high divorce rate on p.o.'s agains me. I know it will make her happy if I give it up. The only think I agree with is that she will worry about my life which is normal. She thinks its a wrong career move.
2007-09-23 15:45:28 · 8 answers · asked by Vin 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
She is right to a point. While in the academy, if you are truly dedicated, you will be consumed with learning codes (vehicle, penal and 10 codes), laws and the elements of each offense. While I believe this is a good and just career field, it takes dedication. Beat cops have a more regular schedule than the detectives. Detectives are, more or less, always working (at least mentally).
What your gf is truly afraid of is that you are growing and changing, and she's not sure if that will include her or not, despite your repeated assurances. Be open to the fact that people change and what is right for you now, may not be right for you in 2 years. My husband was very defiant and against my career (except on payday). He complained about everything that had to do with my job...the gas to work, the dry cleaning bill, you name it! Because he was not supportive, it drove a big wedge between us.
If your gf is not supportive of what makes you happy and what your goals are, i would urge you to take a hard look at this relationship. Will you resent her if you give it up? What if you give up your chance and she breaks up with you in a year?
Good luck no matter what your decision
2007-09-26 16:54:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you this. . .
You can't live your life to make everybody else happy. If you were my partner, and you wanted to become a police officer, it'd be my duty, as your partner, to support you in any way that I can.
The pay is pretty good, the job is risky -- sure . . . it'll stress her out -- understandable . . . but, if becoming a police officer is your goal -- and it's something you've wanted for a long time, I'd seriously consider it before giving it up because somebody else wants you to . . . what happens if that person leaves? Then, you don't have them -- or the job you've always wanted.
Do what it is that YOU think is best.
I have a friend who's boyfriend is a police officer. She doesn't see him much, but, that's not because he's always at work -- it's because they're schedules are different, and she's in school.
My former neighbors were a couple of gay cops, I'd have them over for dinner often -- neither ever complained about not having time with the other.
The guy across the street from me is a police officer too, his wife talks to me a lot -- she never really complains.
If it's what you want -- go for it. If she supports you through it, then -- maybe your relationship with her can go somewhere. . . if she doesn't -- then, think about what's going to happen when things get REALLY difficult.
2007-09-23 16:21:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether you have problems or not depends on you and the woman you will be seeing or marrying. Yes, there are sometimes problems in a marriage when one is a police officer. If you are not mature enough to work out those problems then your marriage is going to fail. I was a police officer for 25 years...married now for 43 years and there were occasional problems that arose over the years. My wife had prior expierence with police life due to her father being a police officer. She had some insight that most other wives did not. Sooooooooooooo, yes you might have problems. Then again, you might have problems if you had other types of jobs...Depends on the two individuals that are married or in a serious relationship. I could go on, but I think you get the point...good luck
2007-09-23 16:03:09 · answer #3 · answered by RETIRED 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you're already having theses issues and you're serious about becoming a cop....dump her. She sounds too controlling. You will have very long days on the job, and during the academy you will be studying all night and on weekends. The academy and a social life are polar opposites. If she can't support your desire for a career in LE, say "Buh Bye".
Besides, who travels 2 hours to see someone? 25 minutes at the most.
Seriously.
2007-09-23 16:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by California Street Cop 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well it is natural for your girlfriend to be concerned about your career choice but it is YOUR choice. You have to do what makes you happy, you support her in her career and other life choices correct? I am in law enforcement and I know it has been hard on my family and my boyfriend. It is a different world, trust me, but I love my job. I worked late the other night and a shooting occurred near where I was, that's what happens in the city what can you do? Any of us can get killed crossing the street, really, I mean you never know. It is an adjustment but if she loves you, she will support your decision.
2007-09-29 17:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta do what makes you happy. If having her be happy is your number one priority, then don't be a cop, especially for NYPD. You are going to be busy with overtime. You are going to accumulate bills and the off-duty details are going to start looking better and better to pay those bills off. If she is nagging you already and you really want to be a cop, let her go; for the good of both of you.
2007-09-23 16:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Todd S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOU!!! you cannot make everyone hapy, so look out for your best interest!!!!
2007-09-28 05:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by joyce m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't become a cop cops aren't good people
2007-09-23 19:02:41 · answer #8 · answered by poison 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋