I am 21yo female muslim and want to know is it wrong....?

Question

to be unhappy with certain aspects of my relifion, i would never change it and love god. Although there are days when I just think our religion says everything is wrong 'haram' and why is that? Why are womens like slaves to their men and why did the prophet muhammed marry a 6 year old girl? Why are so many things wrong and why are women not as equal as men? I am not wanting rude remarks or criticism please as this will only upset me but just neutral comments from anyone including muslims to help me think why am i thinking these things. I am also dating a catholic guy who is not religious and we dont even discuss his religion so its not beause of that.??

Answer 1

Hi. It sounds like you are really trying to find your faith. Have you asked any of these questions to an Iman or another religious leader in Islam to help?

As a Christian, it is easy for me to see Islam as a religion that is very condemning to women. I lived in Saudi Arabia for 4 years and the restrictions were so tight, its not a balanced religion for men and women. Women are so restricted and men are given much more liberty. Unfortunately a lot of this happens without any support from the Quran, but it is supported by religious leaders so its hard to question this.

I see God as the Creator who created man and woman equally - they have different strengths and different weaknesses, but they are equal in God's eyes. Why can't humans see the world the same way? I think its sin.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with looking at your religion. We all do it. Although I must say, you have a great many very good reasons for taking a heart felt look at yours. No condemnation here just awe. I can not imagine be the lesser sex. Being like a slave. I am equal and I love having my man respect me as I do him. I have been married for over 40 years and if I were treated like a slave, I would have been out the door years ago or I would have sent him on his way. Suppression causes illness and lack of self esteem. Why would anyone want to stay with a suppressive person? This also goes for a suppressive religion.
Keep looking at your religion and also take a look at God. The God I know, is a giving, forgiving and loving God.
I hope this helps a little and I wish you luck.

Answer 3

Please Please Please.
Do not listen to the shaytan! It only seems like every thing in your Religion is wrong because we Live in a society where Nothing is wrong.You Know ,If it feels good, do it! Please ,Please, Please,Do not give yourself to a non- believer.I dont care how you feel now ,you will regret it.He does not deserve you.You are pure, and not for him.I have been married for a long time .I am not disrespected .We have our ups and downs but not in anyway abnormal.You can find the right person for you if you take your time and FOLLOW THE RULES. The system works if it is followed correctly.The modern muslim woman can follow the rules and still find happiness.As a matter of Fact ,True happiness.Why do you think such bad things about your religion?Is this what you see in your own home or is this what you see on T.V.?Men who do bad things to their wives can be found anywhere.Abuse is not limited to Muslim Men.It is unheard of where I live.Several Women in my community are doctors.Their husbands sometimes have to stay home and cook and take care of the children.And these women proudly wear their hijabs.Please connect with some good muslims and discover the truth about your religion.And remember ,People are people.The good ,The Bad ,and the Ugly.Its the same.Whether you are Muslim ,Christian ,or Jewish.

Answer 4

It is not wrong per se, since as affirmed in Islam "There is no compulsion in religion..."

Everything seems to be wrong in comparison to the ideal practice of religion simply because the standards of absolution of self in perfection are so high. "Narrow is the path..."

Women should not be slaves to their husbands, this is not the Prophet Muhammad's teaching, but rather everyone should serve each other as the Prophet was a servant of men and God, and He, even though perfect before God, took counsel with His wife, and later wives.... The later wives were for the peace and harmony of the tribes, each from a different tribe, their union harmonized the diverse relation into one family, and were not for polygamy, or pedophilia. The wives were given their freedom to do as they deemed best, though He did counsel all under His loving care, near and far.

Muhammad did not say women are not equal, but rather gave as much equality as the people could bear, the souls, which are the all-important aspects of His efforts to educate, are equal. Only minor variations for specific purpose exist bodily, aside from which, men and women are equal in all respects, and this was the motive of the beloved Prophet.

The cover of the head is not meant to be a material thing, as the Prophets always teach the Spiritual is of prime importance, and it means merely to be humble, so that no-one finds excuse of abuse, and if they do you remain innocent before God.

The barbarism which has followed is because of reversion to the old way before the Prophet came, and is not of Him.

Men are not excluded from being humble before God, and the text referring to women is to show the hearts of the malicious for what they are, so when they are rebuked by God in this earth, they have no excuse even in the material world because all is evident, and has clear history. Shame unto those who treat women so, for God is All-Knowing, and will show you your error at judgment. The long suffering by women has made a force so powerful now, that no people on earth can stop their emancipation from brutal rule.

He had proclaimed that if division broke His followers into sects, that in the last days they would become know as the worst people on earth... How perfect was His knowledge because this has become clearly the case espoused by those unsympathetic to His Glorious upliftings of those ancient tribes.

You are not anything but beloved by Allah, the Great Spirit. May you find peace in His (though God is without gender) service.

God bless.

PS
One can not be Catholic and not religious, for Catholic is Latin for "universal", and is intended as the same faith as Islam for people of different speech and understanding. He may not be as practiced as some, but "One hour of honest reflection is worth 70 years of pious worship."

God bless him as well. Amen

Answer 5

I like the way that Aisha's age when she got married keeps going down here on the internet. Next, we will see people
saying the prophet pbuh married her when she was 3 years old.
Who said we are slaves to men??? Men are simply our protectors. Woman have a right to work in islam and they get to keep everything they make. Men on the other hand, are obliged to provide for the household.
Did you know that in the west, if you separate from your partner, he takes 50% of what you have? This is not the case in islam.
A Man inherits more than a woman not because she is inferior, but because he is responsible to provide for the family. What she inherits, she does not have to spend on her family.
Did you know that men have the same role in christianity?
The bible says
" The head of every woman is her husband, and the head of every husband is christ?"

Answer 6

You need to educate yourself better in your religion. There are many things you listed that shows you don't even know your religion. You state things non-Muslims believe about Muslims. You also shouldn't be dating (you would know that if you studied Islam more).

I think you need to study Islam more and then also come to realize that people are bad -- the problem lies with certain people -- they are the ones that do the bad things. Islam is not to blame. Just like it is not because of Islam that you have taken up dating, it was of your own free will.....

Answer 7

Keep being faithful to what you know in your heart is right. Look at the history of Christianity. Our religion had more than enough hate, superstition, subjugation of women, and killing in the name of God. Islam needs to grow up. The leaders of Islam must teach the truth, and not the medieval hate and customs which enslave their followers. God or Allah is not evil, some of his followers are.

Answer 8

Sister, reconsider your Eman (how you believe). To be a Muslim is to be submit to Allah since Allah is the creator and knows everything. Allah created us to worship Him; it's just a short test. Some people choose to not accept this concept, they're lost. No human should have the choice when Allah and His prophet choose. Like most people told you. i advise you to re-read the Qur'an and think about it. May Allah guide you. Be sincere in finding the truth; it's as bright as daylight for those who see. May Allah give you what it takes.

Answer 9

When you are young, it is natural to question one's beliefs and cultural attitudes. There is nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is to assume that your parents or people of your culture/religion are wrong, or that they believe in something that they have not questioned, without you doing proper study. Most of the time, when people criticize other cultures or religions they have not thought through such things, seen life, or have not done the research, which would allow them to see things from a different perspective.

First of all, not "everything" is "haram" in Islam. In fact, the things that Islam strictly forbids can be counted on one's fingers. And those things are forbidden for a reason---mostly to save 'you' from harm. If Islam prohibits dating, it is to get women a better deal in marriage---a Muslim man has to do a lot more to have a woman than a non-Muslim male who simply needs to ask and can cast aside his girlfriend any time he wants! The primary goal of Islam is to give 'you' dignity---by forcing your prospective life mate to give you financial and emotional security 'before' he sleeps with you.

There is only so much pleasure that a human body can give you or to another person. Islam wants you to save it for a speacial time and for a special person. Once you have spent it, there is nothing left. You will spend your life trying to find things that would bring excitement but you will never be satisfied. There is nothing like finding true love with a person who shares your cultural, intellectual and religious ideals. Otherwise, life becomes a series of compromises which will tire you out.

In Islam men and women have 'different' rights not 'lesser' rights for women. As the Quran says very clearly, women also have certain rights over their husbands. Islam is a practical religion and acknowledges that priorities for men and women are different.

Regarding inheritance for women, the reason girls receive half of inheritance is because they receive 'mahr' from their husbands, which is a substantial amount of money, so in the end it all balances out. Thus, one cannot argue that in the overall scheme of things women end up with less money, especially when you consider the fact that in a Muslim marriage it's the husband's duty to provide for his wife and children and his wife need not spend any of her own wealth on her family. A father or mother can also give whatever they want to each child (boy or girl) in his/her lifetime.

About testimony, the original verse in the Quran deals with witnesses for an inheritance, but by analogy, it was extended to all testimonies. Islam acknowledges that women are usually soft hearted, loving, and are more likely to lie to protect their loved ones, and that is why testimony of two women and one men or of two men is required. In the Western system even one witness is sufficient for most testimonies, which, on the surface, seems unfair because one person can easily be mistaken or have ulterior motives.

Before Western societies criticize Islam, they need to prove that men and women think identically and have the same priorities in life, and unless that do that, any discussion is
useless. The whole concept of "equality" of men and women in each and every aspect is quite nonsensical because equality does not mean sameness. Muslims generally do not believe that women are less intelligent; in fact they respect women far more than most Western men. And that is why wherever there were free and fair elections, Muslim men, on average, have elected far more women heads of states than people in America or Europe put together.

Regarding Prophet Muhammad marrying a 6 year old, it's untrue. Please see:

http://tinyurl.com/2ywc7o

If you have more questions about islam, please do not hesitate to write to me.

Answer 10

I see nothing wrong with questioning your religion. Perhaps we'd all be better off if we would question our religion instead of following others blindly. All regions basically teach morals, but others manipulate the teaching to their own means. I've seen Christians that think of their women as property. And politicians here use religion to get elected.

Answer 11

I presume that no longer something any Muslim will say can exchange your recommendations. yet that's no longer the subject, the subject is which you attack each thing and something affiliated with Islam. What i do no longer understand is that if Muslim women say that are very proud and chuffed to cover, and have many circumstances informed many clarification why.. then why are you so frightened? Are you disenchanted you wont have countless greater womens to stare at as eye candy? it incredibly is the element. all of us recognize adult males wont pick to rape us or any woman using ability of observing her. the element is finding at her in a lustful way and day dreaming appropriate to the "opportunities" I in basic terms began to placed on the hijab this 12 months, i'm 21. in the previous that I dressed how i could gown. i became modest in appearence and by no ability wore something we could say sleezy. yet nonetheless, I knew precisely whilst a guy became observing me the place. It got here to the element that my own professor suggested some exceptionally disgusting issues. Islam protects us from this uneccesary trouble of attempting to electrify others with our splendor and to flaunt it for all people who its to no longer be seen for. you think of we in basic terms permit our husbands do what they pick? That we don't adon ourselves for them. you're very incorrect. in actuality a woman in Islam has 10 circumstances greater rights than a classic non-Muslim woman. we can break up from him islamically on the spot if he lays a finger on us, whilst many western women stay those obusive lives. in the experience that your no longer a woman permit a lone a Muslim woman than this placed up is irrelavent. maybe you basically "understand" splendor... yet your conventional many times happening guy especially those my eyes could think of previous the conforms of admiration. I even have had guy associates say some exceptionally nasty issues approximately women they see. i recognize you being a guy could recognize precisely what i'm speaking approximately. Peace & Love