My husband and I have a 9 month old and are talking about trying next June for another baby. Im up for it however we live in Southern Cali and its so expensive living here that we live with my parents. They dont mind and everyone has there own room but i feel as if i want to move out and then try but if we moved out it would be real small place and we couldnt have another baby. what should i do? remember My parents dont pay for anything they just supply living. Also they are never home really (they have another place for the weekend)
2007-09-23 15:07:10 · 9 answers · asked by justinsparents 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
We have bills, we pay for our phone, internet, half the utilities,half the electric and half the water bills. my husbands in the union and makes real good money so we are able to afford another but no house. and my parents are the romantic type. belive me i hear my mom ***** about it all the time haha
2007-09-23 17:12:07 · update #1
I know exactly how you feel! I feel that the decision to have a baby should NEVER be decided by your finances, especially if you want to have one! However, my husband and I are going through this exact same thing right now (we don't have any yet). We also live in sounthern CA but we will be moving back east in two months, partly because the cost of living there will allow us to start our family. My best advice is to first decide how you really feel about living with you parents, and is your husband ok with it? Basically, how important to you (and him!) is living on your own? Good luck to you!!!
2007-09-23 15:15:47 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If I were in your situation, I would suggest waiting until you are more financially able. While they may not mind having you live with them, you're married. You don't need to be living with your parents.
I suggest learning how to save and rent an apartment or get a house. A second baby complicates everything from childcare to time management. The costs raise amazingly.
Before you have another child though, I really do suggest moving out and getting out of your own. Yes it will be tough, but that's part of the adult life. If you were living at home to save money to start a business or buy a house, I would say to yes--stay there and hold off on kids until you buy that house or start that business. But I don't know that you're doing that.
2007-09-23 16:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
So your own place would be really small?? That's the way it is, when you're just starting out. Did your parents always have a big house? Probably not. It's time to stand on your own two feet, and if that means you wait to have another baby, that's the way it has to be. You have no business burdening your parents like this.
2007-09-24 03:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll weigh in from the parent's side.
After a while, even loving families get tired. If you are old enough to be married and have children, you should be in your own space, not Mama's.
A man and woman don't learn to rely on each other and truly be a couple when they have Mom and Dad for a safety net. I loved both my parents very much -- and I miss them dearly because they are now gone -- but the best thing that happened to my marriage was the U.S. Navy. It sent my husband and I more than 500 miles away from either set of parents. We had to depend on each other.
It was a good marriage. We had 23 good years before he died. I hope you two see 50 years together and keep on going.
2007-09-23 16:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Iris the Librarian 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Get your own home, learn to support yourself financially and pay your own bills, then try for another baby.
Your parents "dont mind". Are you serious. They all say that. They really want you on your own. If something would happen to one of your parents, it could be catastrophic.
I love my 2 kids, and I am thrilled when they come home. I would love for them to have children, but only when they are able to support them and take care of all their needs on their own. I dont want to raise my grandchildren.
The reason your parents are gone a lot is because you and your husband and child are driving them crazy. They just dont have the heart to tell you so.
Been in this situation and didnt like it at all. I kept quiet for the sake of family, but 1 yr of 2 little kids and 2 adults extra at home about drove us both off the deep edge. He changed the locks on the door when they moved out and told me how nice it was to be able to walk around naked again, shar intimacy and engage in relations without the grandkids banging on the door.
2007-09-23 16:32:05 · answer #5 · answered by happydawg 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
we have lived with my parents (also in so cal) for 6 yrs. We have a 5 yr old and a baby due any day now. Its the only way to survive in this area, unless you make 70-80K per year!! Have a baby, enjoy your family, and it will all be fine!
2007-09-23 15:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by parental unit 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with them!! Trust me parents are alot of help and I'm sure they love having their children around! If you want another baby, go for it! Good luck sweetie!
2007-09-23 15:12:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous1 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it;s not bothering your parents and you really want another hey stay there and go for it..
2007-09-23 15:14:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your own place. Then try for another.
2007-09-23 15:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lee B 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋