ok if both biological parents share joint custody and both very involved in their child life where do i fall in? Is there certain things/events that i should stay out of(dr. appts/school conferences) and leave to my husband and his ex to deal with? Since my stepson's mom is very in the picture and involved in his life what can i do to make sure i don't over step my bondries and upset her?
2007-09-23 14:59:48 · 5 answers · asked by joanne j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to his mom and let her know that you'd like to help and ask her how she feels if once in awhile you attended a school function or picked him up from a game etc. I'm sure your husband won't mind but I think your stepson's mother is the key to having a good relationship with your stepson. Communicate and ask questions and make sure you get all the answers from her and everything will be smooth sailing. She will appreciate the fact that you respected her role as his mother.
2007-09-23 15:14:32 · answer #1 · answered by tzuriel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no such thing as a step mom. You are the Father's new wife and the word "mom" doesn't enter into it.
The kids didn't sign up for you and the most you should be is a nice person their father has a relationship with.
Their parents did a diservice to their children by not committting to the family. Once children are involved leaving is not an option unless abuse is involved.
Stay way from trying to involve yourself in the kid's life unless they specifically ask you to be there. They don't deserve to have to deal with the added stress of you trying to be something you are not. They have a mom so leave them alone.
2007-09-23 15:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by Dawnmarie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you & the biological mom have an amicable (sp?) relationship, then best to talk with her directly about your concerns! Ask her how to best support the child while respecting her boundaries AND to set up guidelines as to how SHE can best support you. Keep that communication open - even in the challenging times. If you make it clear that you are all ultimately working together in the best interests of the CHILD, then it will all be easier! And how lucky your stepson is to have your caring support & foresight !
2007-09-23 15:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by S P 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i completely disagree with the last persons statement...if you married their father then you are taking up the role of their mother when they are in your house...sounds to me like she is a bitter lady who's man left her and her kids just happen to like his new wife better...the truth is if his mother is mature enough for you to talk to her abou tit..then do that...but if she's not...don't walk on eggshells just to not upset her..it's life and you live yours how you want to. if it will make you happy to go to your stepsons events then by all means you have that right. as long as you arent demanding that he call you mommy then there is no line that you can cross. best of luck to you
2007-09-23 15:39:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the mom. Ask her what she would like you to help with, and what to stay out of. She can be your friend. Together, you can accomplish alot. Take her out to lunch and explain your dilema. I'm sure she will understand.
2007-09-24 06:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by babidoozer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋