What is better to say.."i understand you"..or "I see what you are saying"..so as to NOT?

Question

start an ARGUMENT...BECAUSE then it becomes one person hates another...and i am non-confrontational...and hate fights...if someone fights what i do is TUNE them out...and WALK AWAY...That is how i was raised...plus if you know someone will disagree with you do not get into it with them...just say.."I see"...and walk away...

Answer 1

I wouldn't say "I understand you" unless the statement is true. It is politically correct to say I hear what you are saying.

You could say: Let me give you some free advise. Take it for what it is worth.

You could say: I hear what you are saying but I would need to hear Jane Doe's side of the story before I give you my unbiased opinion. That is what you want, isn't it?

You could say: Is it really worth your energy or an ulcer?

You could say: Give yourself some time to cool off and regroup. Why don't you sleep on it and we can talk tomorrow about your feelings?

Answer 2

Well you are a better person than I am because I had a person in my family who I swear purposely would confront people with things like for example...if something is black and he knew it he would say it was white and start a fight about it. Another thing is he would insist while watching the weather in the winter that there was "no such thing as a wind chill factor". It drove me crazy so bad that I told him to stand on top of Mt. Washington naked and then tell me if there isn't a wind chill factor. As far as your question, I wouldn't use either one of those phrases. If you are that kind and in control then just walk away.

Answer 3

I am not so sure that a person who brags about tuning people, walking away, and looks for more control lines is very easy to get along with. If you were raised not to take responsiblity for actions towards people it's just going to keep happening until you choose differently.

Answer 4

I have learned a lot by listening to what other people say, and hope people have also learned from me. SO I like to have discussions, but I don't always expect people to agree with all I have to say,and there is not reason for people to get mad, or walk away. It is very easy to listen, then comment if you don't agree to disagree.

Answer 5

I am concerned about your complete aversion to arguing. Not that arguing is fun, but there is a right and wrong way. Anyway, I wouldn't say "I understand you", I'd say the other one, or something along those lines. Maybe "I can see how that would upset you". But regardless, be as genuine as possible.