He scares me...and he always threatens to hit me...with his fists...this morning he threatened to hit me with his shoes...
this started out about a year ago...i tried to talk to him many times before but he attacks me and we end up getting physical. I stopped trying and just went on doing my thing as a mother...i already stopped working...my Aunts are supporting us since i stopped working so i can stay at home and spend time with them...i'm a single mom...i lost my parents when i was still single.. i'm very home bound. I take care of their needs (his older brother is a very good son to me...very God fearing...very loving and caring...very respectful...unlike him).
I send them to a good Christian school...i try to give them all their needs...although i can't give them whatever they want anymore unlike before when i was still working...but my elder son understands and appreciates everything...unlike him.
He has broken my heart so many times =(
He makes me feel like i'm living with a devil child. Sometimes i can't help but wish he would just vanish...i just can't take him anymore....he scares me and is hurting me deeply.
What must I do? I've been praying for him ...but he doesn't change.
When he was a little boy...he used to be a very sweet child...I always find time to talk to them about God...
we even read the bible together...and i believe i have shared to them everything they need to know about God's ways and love. A year before this radical change...i can confidently say...we were all in God's grace...but now...this son of mine has definitely fallen away.We live in the Philippines. I don't know what to do with him anymore. Can you kindly advise me?
2007-09-23 12:39:58 · 28 answers · asked by ♥Slide♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he's turning 15 on Oct 26....he's taller than me. =(
2007-09-23 12:44:25 · update #1
His older brother is 16 but he never went through something like that.
If it weren't for my older son i would have killed myself already! =(
2007-09-23 12:59:55 · update #2
@Dennis J
comparing them cannot be helped...i grew up without a any male figure...without any siblings...it's hard enough for me to take care of them and raise them alone at a very young age...
even harder now and more confusing..i am at a total lost here....i don't know how to deal with him anymore....
i never made life hard for them...i never tried to hurt them...i can very well say..i've been a very good and very cool Mom...and friend to them as well. I don't know what happened...=(
2007-09-23 13:06:04 · update #3
@aggiegrl
like i said...we been through that a few times...and it never turned out pretty...he attacks me and fights back...it only made things worse...i'm not going through that again...it's very painful for me.
2007-09-23 13:10:56 · update #4
@gardapthia
yes and he also curses and threatens his older brother...one time my older son ...could no longer take how he's treating and disrespecting me...he tried to talk to him...and they ended up fighting...
seeing them like that has caused me so much pain...i never want that to happen again. My eldest is very patient...and he knew how it made me feel when i witnessed them fight...he doesn't want to see me hurting like that again. So now...he tries not to say anything anymore...but he makes sure he's right there to protect me. Trouble is...sometimes he's not around and he has asthma too. =(
2007-09-23 13:18:32 · update #5
@~~Mr. Lonely~~
i don't think he has any friends...he comes home from school everyday at always the same exact same time. My older son have friends...i've met them...he brings them in the house...and they were all nice and polite.
My subersive son's favourite band is
My Chemical Romance...there was a time when he would even wear dark eye liners...he also always wears black when he's not in uniform.
anyways...judging from the fact that he's always home in time...has no friends...i don't think he's on drugs...but i'm beginning to wonder if ...could he be possessed? =(
and also...can I send a 15 yr old to jail? will the police believe me? i'm so confused and scared... =(
2007-09-23 13:29:15 · update #6
and he's not even 15 yet... can the police really help if ever?
2007-09-23 13:30:56 · update #7
and by the way...i can't send him to his father cus their father passed away already....
Is there a place for juvinile deliquents like him?...like some kind of a rehab?
...Oh God i don't know...i wish it doesn't have to go that far... why can't we just live in harmony like we used to???!!=(
2007-09-23 13:40:53 · update #8
@XEmo.MajestyX
I understand...i've been there too...but i never tried to hit my mom when she was still alive... no matter what she did to me... =(
i don't know what i've done to deserve this ='(
2007-09-23 14:54:03 · update #9
@cindy
you don't know what you're saying.
2007-10-01 01:12:49 · update #10
I am praying for you. I have had a similar situation with my oldest son being disrespectful--it started with the hormones.
I begged God to give me wisdom. My feelings were really blocking me from hearing God--I had to forgive him first from the heart and forgive myself for any failure on my part. Then, God was very specific.
He told me to tell him: "You are a significant and important part of this family. I love you." God made me repeat this over and over to him. When it finally penetrated his heart he cried. His entire attitude has changed and about eighty percent of the time.
My prayer is that you totally give up the situation to God and ask God for very specific things you can say and do. God will give you complete and total direction. Please ask God to forgive you and your son(stand in the gap like Job did for his children) and forgive yourself and forgive your son. When you bathe a situation in forgiveness, love and prayer God's will comes forth very powerfully.
God loves you and your sons and Aunts. He knows better than any of us what you all need. May peace fill your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
I would also suggest having family prayer together everyday. At dinner or breakfast everyone can hold each other's hands and ask God for forgiveness, direction, wisdom and protection. Include the Aunts and just a simple prayer in agreement together can help tremendously.
I am praying for you. If you ever want to email me--feel free to do so.
Love and Hugs in Christ Jesus,
Steinbeck
2007-09-28 03:44:37 · answer #1 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Number 1: I Really Think You Should'nt Force Religion On Him...I Mean It's A Pressuring Thing When You Do That.
Listen,,, My Favorite Band In The Whole Wide World is My Chemical Romance Too, And Not A Lot Of MCR Fan's I Know Act Like Your Son Does......Think About It,Maybe Music Is His Only Saviour.... Maybe It's What Keeps Him alive, And It's What Keep's You Alive....Maybe.....He Does Have A Problem, But I Dont Think Sending Him Away And Off Your Hands Is Gonna Do Anything Either....I'm 15, And Personally If I Had A Problem Alike Your Sons,Then All I Would Want Is Someone To Love Me......E-Mail Me......Maybe I Can Talk To Him......I Can Try To Help Him.....From One Mychemical Romance Fan To Another...
2007-09-28 17:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by geo♥ant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know exactly what's avavilable in the Phillipines, so forgive me if my answer doesn't match up exactly. But these are my thoughts if you were having this happen here in Australia:
You're right, first of all; you do NOT deserve this, and neither do either of your sons. There's something going on, something big, but it isn't anything to do with you-- yet.
Your son has radically changed-- think to how/ when this happened. Has he changed schools, has he changed friends? Has he been in the company of people whom you don't know and maybe don't trust?
There's a possibility of drug/ alcohhol activity here, since he is so radically different. Has he beome more privacy-oriented? Has his style of dress changed? Has anything gone missing from the house that he might be selling to buy drugs with?
Don't let anyone tell you it's hormones-- as you can see from your other son-- and loads of boys around the world-- boys don't automatically become violent because they are in puberty. He is acting out because of something either emotional (no dad, mom not working, bad influences around him, personal insecurity) or physical (drugs/ alcohol/ chemical imbalance that a doctor can check).
You need to work on the "tough love" aspect. You TELL him you will not accept this kind of behavior. You TELL him that you WILL call the police if he dares raise a hand to you. You FOLLOW THROUGH if he does. Prayer is good, but it's not enough. God helps those who help themselves. You need to protect yourself and your other son-- and this son. For his own good.
Stop apologizing to him for not being able to give him everything-- and start giving him structure and discipline. He sounds like he's a bit past the ordinary stuff, though-- so you may need to get others involved.
Good luck, and keep praying.
LJG
2007-09-28 11:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by LJG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truely believe u need help some kind of counseling if its to the point that u want to kill ur self thats not good u need help and he has friends he's talking to someone u just don't know who those kids that wear that black eyeliner and clothes they are going through something but please don't kill ur self that would not help than u will be leaving ur promble with someone else and ur older son still needs u as well u just have to find out where u can get some kind of help from i know its hard not to be scared of him but u got to stop letting him push u around thats why he do it cause he know that ur scare of him as a god fearing woman u are not surpose to let ur kids disrepect u please go on line and see where u can get some help before it gets worst than what it is right now all i can do is pray for u don't let him drive u to the edge cause than he wins the battle don't give up thats what the devil what u to do. god bless stay strong in faith.
2007-09-23 14:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by shay love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to step up and come out stronger than him. Show him that his behavior is unacceptable and he will be punished if he is disobedient. the first time he hits u or gets physical call the police. they mite put himin jail for the night but let him go. itll probly b hard to c but it'd be the best thing for him. also, get him into counseling. talk to his counselor at school perhaps something is happening there that he is angry about. and releasing that anger onto u. counseling outside of school would be good also. he could b angry that u rnt working and rnt able to give him some of the things he wants. mayb hes angry bc he doesnt have a father. theres so many reasons and the chances of him coming home from school and saying mom imsorry ive acted liek this but blah blah blah, is slim to none so seek the help of a professional. someone mentioned drugs. that is also antoher viable possibility. mayb a hormonal imbalance. perhaps the other brother could speak to him. or someone he trusts and would be willing to speak to decently. good luck with this i no it is a difficult situation. u will probly not be able to handle it on ur own. if worste comes to worste perhaps send him to a military school and boarding school for a semester. possibly u could get a grant or scholarship for something like that. itd teach him discipline and respect. again, good luck i hope this works out for u. dont be afraid to ask for help. ur son is out of control. if u do not do something for him now u may lose him forever.
2007-09-23 13:05:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know that you don't want to hear this but maybe he needs to go away for a little while. He needs some emotional, mental help obviously something is going wrong in his head right now. Soon he will be stronger than you and someone will get hurt or even worse killed. Stop it before it gets worse that innocent child isn't always who they grow up to be and parents aren't always the one to find the best answer so get some help for your son because he may really start to display this towards others and they won't be so forgiving. Maybe his feels a little resentment.
2007-09-23 13:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by t_tneal27 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, good for you for being a single mom. there aren't many people who could handle that kind of responsibility; it takes a special kind of person.
it sounds like your son is needing a male role model in his life. your older son, though he sounds like a great guy, probably isn't the kind of person your son wants to look up to right now, because brothers don't always get along.
one thing that helped me was to get involved in a youth group. i don't know how open your son is to God, but if there's a wyldlife group in your son's school, that's a great christian junior high group to get involved with. younglife is the highschool extent of that.
another thing would be discipline. i'm not sure what your views of this are, but i'm a 16-year old, and my parents did discipline me when i was younger. but they always told me why, and they never did it out of anger, which was key! and i'm not a violent person for it. grounding or taking away a certain privilage can be very effective.
i would finally pray about it. God will help you out, gauranteed. chances are the change won't be over night, but prayer is definitely a good thing. also, talk to your pastor, see what he thinks. he probably has a good idea of how to handle behavior like that.
i hope this has helped. and if you can't think of anything, or you think your son just wants to talk to someone-- or rant to someone-- my email is spyguy95@sigecom.net. hope this offer doesn't sound weird, but i kinda know what your son is going through. so, my offer stands.
i will be praying for you as well. just pray to God for strength, and peace. He won't deny you. and that is something you can know with absolute assurance.
2007-09-23 16:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried having your oldest son have a talk with him? He may be able to talk some sense into him, being another male. You could also start making him go to counseling. If all this doesn't work, it sounds like you will have to use tough love and call the police to arrest him. A brief(a week, if that) time in jail may make him rethink how he is treating you and show him you mean business.
2007-09-23 13:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by Kazama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praying is not enough! (I am an ordained minister, so please don't think I'm saying anything bad about religion and belief systems) Please, get him into counseling before it gets worse and you have to call child services to remove him from the home, or the Police remove him from the home and put him in jail.
He may actually resent everything you've given up to spend time with him or realize that you'll do ANYTHING for him and he feels entitled. He may also wish he had an adult male to turn to growing up. Perhaps an organization like Big Brothers can help?
Best of luck, you're in my prayers with this.
2007-09-23 13:01:21 · answer #9 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 13 y/o and my family is Christian too. My cousin was like that, not to his mum, but to his principal. Attacked him one day. At high school, he changed. I can see that your son is trying to break free of the Christian boundries and His soul is probably tainted with sin. I have a weird talent to read peoples souls. Go the local Pastor, Tell him of your son's problem, then bring your son. He will very likely heal your son's spirit. If not, Let him go. send him somewhere else but that school. Somewhere known to be violent and outside the rules. He either has to take it on the chin, or come clean on what he has done.
2007-09-23 13:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Street Boy Will 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋