Is This Cause For Concern???

Question

Ok so i have this public health nurse come into my home every 2 weeks to help me with my son who needs speech therapy, she is also a registered speech therapist. Well last week she phones CAS(cps equivalent) and tells them that she os concerned my son is not potty trained 100% and he is 3yrs old she further tells them that it is a concern that my son likes to run nude in my house although he will wear clothes he just has this thing where he goes pee in the toilet but he thinks you have to take all your clothes off to do it, then to top all that off she says she's concerned that the laundry in my bathroom(no room for a basket so it sits on the floor behind the door) is a tripping hazard. I was like WTF since when is a 3yr old child 100% potty tained especially at night. Did she have valid reasons for calling the CAS or is she just a nutcase???

this woman called me last friday to inform me she had called the CAS

i'm not worried about the CAS at all as they came to my home and thought there was no validity to her complaint which i already knew but the fact that these were the things she complained about got me to thinking about where she was educated and how well she can actually do her job.

Answer 1

I would question her knowledge. I don't think she knows very much about child development. I would call and ask for a new therapist. I wouldn't be rude or mean, but I'd explain that you don't have a good deal or confidence in her education concerning the development and habits of preschoolers.
I'll bet she isn't even a mother. Plenty of kids, and even some adults I know take off their clothes to go to the bathroom. It isn't that uncommon. I could understand if you let him poop in the floor and you didn't pick it up, but that was just ridiculous. Try not to let it jade you toward other therapists.
Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 2

Ugh! Nice!

I have no idea when most kids are 100% potty-trained its never been a concern. But my baby sister and all my cousins have all run around naked whenever they could get away with it, so does my son.

It also isn't the first child I have heard of that "needed" to get completely naked to potty. Worrying about clothes is just too much for some.

Hehe and if she thinks laundry behind the door is a tripping hazard she should see my bedroom (not to mention the lego and blocks everywhere most days). That is just silly. She could have just mentioned it to you. You could maybe hang a small laundry bag on the back of the door to shut her up?

Hopefully CAS will come, visit and close your file. They did for me after the pediatrician in the hospital called over 10 times to insist they do a home visit. They came, we had a little talk they checked the crib to make sure it was up to code and they left.

In any case either just let CAS come and do a home visit and be nice -but don't bring anything up and don't discuss anything not directly related to what they are there for (like co-sleeping for example) or get an attorney and only speak to CAS through them.

Then speak to the public health nurses supervisor about this nurses unprofessional behaviour. None of these "problems" were an urgent health risk to the child and could have been discussed directly with you. I wouldn't let that nurse back in your house, maybe another nurse would be better.

Answer 3

Were you notified by CAS that the complaint was made, or did this woman tell you herself? It seems like she feels overly concerned about things, that..well aren't really that concerning. Children learn how to potty train at their own pace, and there is nothing wrong with a three year old not completely being potty trained, I had a friend her son wasn't completely trained til well after four, and that was only because he wanted to go to pre-school and they pushed a bit. And if laundry is a bad hazard then I guess every person has to have all laundry baskets and dirty clothes hampers up off the floor and bolted to the wall or something? Woman sounds a bit off her rocker to me.

Answer 4

She's a nutcase.

Kids vary on potty training, and she should know that.

My 4 year old would be naked all the time if I let him. Only recently did he start pooping with his shirt on. He told me he couldn't get comfy to go without being naked. This includes in a stall in public washrooms.

And the laundry behind the door...tell her to come to my house, I'll show her tripping hazards...

Not ONE of these issues would make CAS bat an eye.

Find a new PHN/therapist. This woman needs a hobby or something...

Answer 5

My soon to be 3 year old is no where near being potty trained - and he likes to be naked in his own house. Since when do babies need to be self conscious about their body and cover up? At what age is it an issue that a kid isn't fully potty trained?

I think she can call if she likes, and maybe she was being hyper-vigilant but I also believe if there is no substance to it then nothing will come of it. It may be that she recently received training on what to look for in child abuse and knows that she is duty bound to report child abuse but not clear on what the line is. If there is no merit the farthest it will go is a visit from social services. Try not to be threatened, it doesn't help.

Answer 6

As you proceed to defend yourself, you can't write her off as a nut case. It really depends on the person who takes her report. With all the abuse and neglectgoing on in the world, it's discouraging that the authorities would bother to look into such quibbles. All the things you list are natural and easily explainable IF the person is willing to listen.
You might try lodging a complaint with the agency that sends her, complete with your responses to her concerns. See if they can send someone who understands children better than she apparently does.
There is nothing abnormal about a three year old, especially a boy, who is not potty trained. There is nothing wrong with any one being nude in the privacy of their own home. However, you might want to look into corraling your laundry, but even that is nit-picking.

Answer 7

Call her employer, and tell them that you were not aware they were sending the nanny from hell, when all you requested was a speech therapist. Furthermore, tell them that you'd appreciate it if your employees would just do their job instead of deliberately looking for reasons to nit-pick. She reminds me of the principal in the movie "Uncle Buck". Ask, no...demand another speech therapist, and maybe threaten a defamation of character lawsuit against CAS.
I don't believe she's a nutcase, but rather, a frigid, unhappy spinster.

Answer 8

It's her problem, not yours. Maybe she has different standards than yours... like the people who don't let their children watch tv and assume that all parents who do are abusing their children... even though most parents let their children watch tv. I let my daughter eat grapes, but technically she's supposed to be too young for them to not be a choking hazard, things like that raise red flags for people, but the truth is, he's your son, you know him best. She's an outsider and she has no business doing that. It's one thing if there's evidence of sexual or physical abuse, but all I see is evidence that you're an average Mom.

BTW, my daughter *hates* wearing clothes. As long as it's warm enough, I let her wander around nude anytime she wants.

Answer 9

OMG!!! everything you say is 100% normal. This lady is nuts and probably has no kids of her own because if she did she would know that this is very normal.

Answer 10

shes a nut job find a new speech therapist