I was in a relationship on and off with a guy for about 2 years. He would be mean to me sometimes, he would get angry easily, he would claim that I wasn't his girlfriend, he was involved with drinking and drugs. His friends even told me I could do better. Over the summer we got in an arguement. We talked about it and it was patched up you could say...but through our actions it seemed we were just friends after the arguement. I was sick of this off and on relationship. We hung out a few days later and had a good time but I knew in my heart I couldnt deal with this anymore. I slowly faded out of his life. I care about him so much, I really do, I gave him my virginity...and I know walking out of the relationship wasnt the most mature way to handle it but I didnt know what to do. It frusterates me that right now I have no one but he has a new group of friends w/some girls to hang out with. Do you think he still thinks about me? Alot of things remind me of him and we have a class together..
2007-09-23 11:33:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"I know walking out of the relationship wasnt the most mature way to handle it but I didnt know what to do"
No, walking AWAY from him was the only mature thing you did. As a matter of fact, if I were you, I would keep walking.
This guy clearly was not interested in you, his friends even told you so, by saying you could do better.
And the drug situation, trust me, you don't want to get involved there.
You liked the guy, you tried to make it work, but it didn't. That's ok, but now its time to move on and find someone who really cares about you. You have done nothing wrong and deserve way better.
2007-09-23 11:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by RoseWhite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i must say I couldnt tell you TOO much from personal experience, was in a similar situation over the summer. What it sounds like is that you two were pretty close but he fell into some wrong crowds with stuff you didnt want to have any part of, or maybe somthing else that made you uneasy.(maybe not, just a shot in the dark) But if you really had that great of times and he really still cared i don't think you two would have drifted apart as you did. Im sure he still thinks about you, sounds like you two were pretty close, but you seem like such a great person i think you should move on, take some time off of the dating scene for a little to get your mind cleared. Thats what i did, and when i decided i kinda thought i was ready to go out and see people again i had such a great time, and couldnt believe what an idiot the girl i was dating was to me. Just trust me, take some time out, you are a great person and wont have any problems when you feel like you are ready.
Dan
2007-09-23 11:42:13 · answer #2 · answered by dnes91 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well
i'd say to you congratulations first and foremost for leaving this guy. that was the best choice. i know exactly how u feel. i was in the same position u r in not too long ago and initially it feels so painfull, a lot of things come to mind and you just wish the guy would understand how much u care about them and how much u wanna be with them.. unfortunately guys dont work like that. the more u show them u care too much they mistaken that for weakness. guys love to chase they love challenges and the moment yu give in too easily, they havent got any challenge left so they lose interest. move on.. believe me there is life out there. go out.. find new friends, try new things.. llaugh a lot coz once u start laughing, u start healing.. it may take time to get used to it but believe me thts wat u need to do right now.
i want you to ask yourself one question.. who r u living for you or him?? did u know him from birth and was it adoned that you be together?? if the answer is no then i'd say live for yourself. choose YOU!! make yourself happy. there will be someone else out there who will make u happy.dont rush into looking for that person yet though.. use this time to grow and know more about yourself and you will see amazing results.. and another important thing dont hang around the wrong crowds.. by that i mean avoid those people that keep talking to you about him, they break you slowly.. make new friends. change any daily routine of hangouts that have memories.. trust me... it will be worth it.
2007-09-23 11:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by zuze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are soooo much better than this guy!!!!
I don't know what it is about you that makes you think you deserve to be treated in such a horrible way.
I lost my virginity to a real piece of sh**, too (and we were on again off again for about two years, he was a tweeked-out jerk, and his friends told me I could do better), but as soon as I forgot about him, my life became so much better.
He's still a tweeked-out loser, and I am so happy I dodged that bullet!! You will look back in a few years and laugh that you ever even thought that you loved this guy (who clearly couldn't care less for you).
A good guy is coming soon,
I promise.
<3<3
2007-09-23 11:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by no one 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think walking out was extremely mature on your part. It's an immature guy with abusive tendencies who took your virginity and he's not worth your love. Move on, hard as it seems. Life does go on, and yes, in a few years you will remember the best parts but not regret going on to a better more appropriate relationship.
2007-09-23 11:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by BluesMutha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Melissa,
Sweetheart, you did what was best for you and him. Your friends are correct. You can do much better than that. What if you got pregnant? What if he beat you or worst your baby? Drugs and his 'new group' are not your lifestyle girlfriend.
You are young and many great guys are out there looking for some great girl to love them like you can do and will give you in return equal love and affection. I bet one even read this question.
Enjoy your life, look for happiness within yourself and look for a great future. You will find what you look for, what you think about will come to you eventually, make it a good thing Melissa.
2007-09-23 11:48:44 · answer #6 · answered by D. Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see...you weren't arguing with yourself obviously, you faded out because the situation was no longer a reflection of what you wanted in your life. Albeit you are grieving a loss or is it the part of you that you invested in this that you are grieving? Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of love and the individual may not live up to it. You have moved on your heart just needs to catch up.
2007-09-23 11:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by inquisitive 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've done nothing wrong.
What you've done right was leaving the relationship.
Think about it..do you want to be in an intimate relationship with someone with anger issues and who's mean to you?
His "issues" would only get worse with time. If you stayed with him it might have escalted to physical abuse.
It sounds like he's moved on. Don't give him the benefit of your worry and sadness.
Hold your head high. Know you made the right decision.
You're worthy of someone who will treat you with respect and dignity.
2007-09-23 11:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably only thinks about you if and when he sees you. Drinking and drugs really mess up your thinking. Look at the kind of friends he has- they're probably into that kind of stuff too. You'll get friends. Don't worry so much about what he has and you don't. I think you did good walking out on him. Bravo.
2007-09-23 11:38:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl move on! He's bad news if even his friends are telling you you could do better. I know it's hard to get over your first, but you gotta' stay strong and you'll find a great guy to treat you right.
2007-09-23 11:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by spiffymo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋