question about AIDS?

Question

Hello,
I recently invited a good friend of mine to dinner, and she suggested bringing a friend of hers; I have never met her friend personally, but we are both aware that she has been diagnosed with HIV. I'm neither prejudiced nor like to discriminate, but I really wouldn't be comfortable having her in my house, as the virus may come into contact with silverware, utensils, glasses, etc. What is a diplomatic way of letting my friend know this? Should I simply tell her I have to reschedule dinner for a later date? Or should I tell her I don't want her friend infected with HIV over to my house? Thanks!

Answer 1

AIDS is not transmitted in these ways, just like cancer isn;t transmitted in these ways.

Now, you are free to tell her whatever you wish, but you should be aware that she is equally free to terminate the friendship.

If you wish, you could nibble around the corner and state that the invitation is for her alone, but it really doesn;t address the issue fully

Answer 2

You cannot catch HIV from silverware--the virus's life span outside the human body is less than one minute--in fact, it dies upon contact with open air! The only known method of transmission is person-to-person via white blood cell containing body fluids--so simply don't share a needle, receive a blood transfusion, or have sex with them!

Of course, if you don't want this friend of a friend over, simply tell your friend that you don't want this person over to your house--that is your right! Your friend will have to understand.

But if you really knew just how many people you come into contact with everyday, who have HIV, you would probably be shocked! You may just be passing up a chance to meet a new friend--and that would be a shame, because you would be letting an irrational fear get in the way of knowing someone who you might really like. And from what I know of people with HIV/AIDS, many of them would really love to get out and meet new people, but are daunted by the prejudice which they face.

It's your choice, either way! But I'd take the chance--you won't get HIV from sitting down to dinner with this person, but you might have a nice evening with one more voice in a conversation--and THAT is always welcome.

Answer 3

It would do you a lot of good if you got some education on how the AIDS virus is spread. For one thing,it's a very delicate thing. According to everything I've learned as a nurse working for 33 years with AIDS patients, the only way to spread AIDS is blood to blood. In other words. You would need an open wound coming into direct contact with an open wound of someone with AIDS. This can also happen if you have unprotected sex with someone who is infected. The most common way would be anal sex. Once the virus reaches open air-it dies quickly. Another sure way to get it is iv drug use using the same needle after an infected person has used it. Unless you plan any of these activities at your dinner,you'll be perfectly safe. If-after learning all of these things,you still dont feel safe having the person near your utensils,then for goodness sakes,tell them you just dont feel safe.

Answer 4

If you invited only your friend, it was really rather rude of her to assume she could invite another person along, unless you said you'd like to have some people over and specifically asked her to invite others as well. Unless you've already made a commitment that you thought it was OK to have this friend of a friend over (in which case, it would be rude to withdraw now), you can simply tell your friend, without any further explanation, that you would like to have a smaller dinner, and haven't made preparations for extra guests. No need to explain why, and no reason for you to feel uncomfortable in your own home. While you really wouldn't be at risk of contracting anything from her using your utensils and glasses, if it makes you uncomfortable, it is your own home, and what you don't want to do in your own home you simply shouldn't have to do!

Answer 5

I do not know what you will tell her, but I can tell you from experience of something and may be it will help you.I once lived with my ex 's family and his mother invited over her best friend who has hiv .He stayed for dinner and she some how conveniently had set up the table with plastic forks , plates , and cups.So right after use they go in the trash . I do not know if it was something she did intentional , but he said nothing of it. He also used the restroom for a bit and when he left it was cleaned with disifectant.How ever I do not want to affend anyone this is just something that happened once .Oh yes and by the way they proved hiv is in all bodily fluids which also is in sweat .So any bodliy secretions like perspiration it has it they proved this already.Yes and it is in saliva too.

Answer 6

Cheeze Folks get a grip.
RiverStyx, you are not a horrible person nor are you a bad person. You didn't know the facts, well we all have to learn. You asked and now you've learned a lot about HIV/AIDS. Maybe now you can make friends with your friend's friend. She's probably a pretty great person like her friend and you are.

Answer 7

HIV viruses cannot be transferred through silverwear for many reasons.

1) Silverwear is made of heavy metals, most of which are very toxic to Viruses and Bacteria.
2) The viral count required to transfer bacteria is relatively high, in the range of 8-24 particles. There are few, if any viral capsules in the saliva, even if mouth sores or cuts are present in the infected individual.
3) HIV is a very weak virus. It lives for only hours outside the human body. It's rendered inactive by most solvants (bleach, alcohol, ammonia, surfactants) and is easily killed by high heat. Dishwashers fulfil both the solvant and heat requirement.

The risk is 0. So don't make an uninformed decision.

Talk to your friend about it.

Answer 8

First of all, HIV has been able to produce itself to contaminating you through silverware, so I don't think it would hurt. You should be honest though if you don't want her friend over, I would feel a little uncomfortable also. But think about this how many times have you dined out, and had to use their silverware or their restrooms. It would be basically the same thing.

Answer 9

You are obviously not educated about the HIV virus. You cannot get it from utensils etc......
Please do some research on this, and treat this person with love and respect.

Answer 10

The virus that would infect you with HIV can only live outside the human body for a few seconds. Also, it needs to be transmitted from one person to another contained in a fluid. So, unless you swap fluids with this guest, you cant get the virus from her.

Answer 11

You need to learn the facts about AIDS. There is no diplomatic way of telling her that her friend is not welcome due to your ignorance of the facts.
BTW, you are more than likely being exposed to many more people with AIDS than you are not even aware of just by walking down the street, grocery shopping or maybe even the person in the cubbie next to you at work. Why don't you take a leap of faith and go on with your dinner party.