Does anyone know the rest of the lines from the innane doggerel from which these two lines come from?

Question

They go as follows " I went to the pictures and took a front seat at the back - a lady gave me some cake, I ate it and gave it her back." - Also " It was a dirty night and a dirty trick when we all went down in the Atlantic"

Answer 1

Variously called "The Backward Rhyme," "The Paradox Poem," and "The Contradiction Poem," there are several versions floating around the web. Here are several versions:

1.
Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
I stand before you and sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about!
Admission is free, you must pay at the door;
So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know :

One bright day, in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight
back to back; they faced each other;
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
He came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true...
just ask the blind man; he saw it too!

2.
The famous speaker who no one had heard of said:
Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you and sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout "hooray!")
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine-inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too,
through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

3.
Early one morning,
Late last night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
They fell to the ground,
From the holes they were in,
One from without,
One from within.
Up the hill their bodies did roll,
Like a golfball on it's way to a goal.
They rolled and they flipped,
They rolled and they flopped,
Until finally their bodies hit bottom and dropped.
They sprang from the holes,
They'd never been in,
And started to duel all over again.
A cop who was there,
Just stood on the side,
And watched with such glee,
As he painfully cried.
He saw the boys rise,
He saw the boys fall,
He saw how short they were,
At seven feet tall.
Then he started to think,
In a blinding slow flash,
I'll tell the whole world what I saw,
And they'll all pay me cash,
To hear of my story,
Of this I'm quite sure,
And when the money's all in,
My blindness I'll cure.

4.
In the middle of the day, one dark night,
Identical twins, went out to fight.
One was black, the other was white,
Both their mothers, in a state of fright.

They faced each other, back to back,
Brother to brother, white and black.
"What shall we do?" cried each mother.
They drew their swords, and shot each other.

A deaf state trooper, heard the noise,
Shot and killed, the two dead boys.
Although deceased, the two boys sued.
The blind judge noticed, they were both subdued.

"The law's the law! You both must hang!"
"In the electric chair", the jury sang.
"We're sorry", cried the two dead boys.
"We thought the swords were just plain toys"

Their bodies did lay, side by side,
In unkown graves, marked "Hare Nor" "Hide"
You never knew which did the errands,
Identical twins, 'cept for their parents.

All old children, please beware,
Of killing dead boys, anywhere.
You must learn, that once you do,
They might come back, and then sue you.

5.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back-to-back they faced each other,
Drew their swords, and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
Came and killed those two dead boys.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
Ask the blind man, because he saw it too.

Answer 2

I remember this from my childhood and I am 75 now..

I went to the pictures tomorrow,
And took a front seat at the back.
A lady gave me a plain currant bun,
I ate it , and gave it her back.