I'm having an uneven amount of people in my wedding party due to the fact that I have only 1 female friend (the rest are male), no sisters, and only 1 female cousin that I'm close to. So 2 bridesmaids and 4 Groomsmen. My mom seems to have a problem with it. She says it's unwise and keeps giving me attitude about it. When I ask why I HAVE to have it even she ignores me. I'm not going to give in to what she thinks, but I don't see what the problem is. I know it's pretty common to have an uneven wedding party and there is no law saying it has to be even. So why can't she just leave it alone? What can I say to her to make her stop her arguing on the matter?
and btw we're paying for the entire wedding ourselves.
2007-09-23 10:45:14 · 17 answers · asked by Mekana 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds like your mother has pretty traditional ideas about what a wedding should be.
I suggest you take a deep breath and let it go. As long as you and your groom are happy with the arrangement the subject is closed.
Next time the subject comes up, I suggest you change it to some other wedding details. There are plenty to discuss I'm sure. :-)
Best of luck!
2007-09-23 10:55:14 · answer #1 · answered by krinkn 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You probably won't ever get her to stop arguing the point, she has a thought in her head and it sounds like it's stuck there. You don't HAVE to have an even number of attendents, you can have two groomsmen walk each bridesmaid down the aisle after the ceremony and for the bridal party dance (if you have one), make sure your maid of honour and the best man and your bridesmaid and the first groomsem are the ones dancing along with you, I am sure the other two groomsmen will understand. It's your wedding just ignore her about this point and relax about it and have fun!! Congrats on your wedding!
2007-09-23 18:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she wont leave it alone because your mother who is like mine is very traditional. there is nothing wrong with having an uneven number in your party. for example.....you have 4 groomsmen and 5 bridesmaids. after you are announced man and wife and everyone teams up with someone to walk down the aisle, the lucky last guy walks away with two girls (one on each side). i personally think its cute!!!!
it is your wedding and your fiances so what you guys decide to do your chose. it is your special day together. i am sorry for your mom being the way she is.
my advice is show her this question and let her read all the answers that are posted!!!! she might understand then.
regardless of who pays, you should still have a say so on the matter!
best wishes to you both!
2007-09-23 21:58:21 · answer #3 · answered by April 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I think this is alot about personality types. I am planning my wedding and having a hard time picking more bridesmaids, but mine have to match. No ifs, ands, or buts. It would drive me nuts for it to be uneven. I like uniformity. I can't even wear asemetrical clothing. Perhaps your mother is the same way. She may be traditional and like things nice and even. Just tell her it is important to you to only have the people who are truely important and special to you in your wedding. And that you have 2 such people, and your fiance has 4. And leave it at that. Don't
"take the bait" to argue about it more, redirect her to talk about something else. And you could be a nice daughter and let your mother pick out the linen colors, or something else that isin't so important to you.
2007-09-24 10:26:03 · answer #4 · answered by perfect_blue_and_blond 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are her only daughter and she wants your wedding to be perfect. Traditionally the bride chose her attendants and then the groom came up with a corresponding number of men. The men's big role is to escort each of the attendants down the aisle, thus the matched numbers. It's not that unusual for Moms to get kinda obsessed with silly stuff when the real issue is their little girl going out into the big bad married world. Try and cut her some slack. If the groom doesn't have any female relatives or friends that he wants to add to even things out, then Mom will just have to deal with it. Just try not to engage in arguments with her, that only makes for bad feelings and you don't want those as part of the wedding!
2007-09-23 19:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by naniannie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have an even wedding party, and your mom should not have a say in the matter. However, I'd like to point out that if there are male friends you'd like to include in the wedding party, you can have them be "bride's attendants" (basically a male bridesmaid).
2007-09-23 20:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be upfront with your mother (but of course in a respectful manner). You have every right to choose only those women closest to you to be your bridesmaid on your wedding day and you are not just going to choose someone else to make it more even. Secondly, you are not going to discuss the matter any further. Talking about it will not change your mind. Then drop it. If she brings it up, let her know you've already made your decision then change the subject.
2007-09-23 18:01:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of course it doesn't have to be even. She's crazy for even caring about it. Most weddings are not even these days. Each guy escorts two women. In the pictures they will pose 3 each on either side of you and the groom. No big deal at all. What does she expect you to do. . . as people you barely know or care about just to have 4? That's stupid.
2007-09-23 19:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if she was paying for it she doesn't get to pick your bridesmaids.
You have to remember that your mom comes from a diff. time when the "rules" were still very much in place. I would just cut her some slack and when she starts nod, smile, and politely ignore. When she takes a breath use the chance to change the subject, perhaps ask her advice on something you really want her opinion on (if there's nothing just fake it...ask her about flowers or something)
2007-09-23 17:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
See how she likes this idea.
For the recessional you & hubby exit, ring bearer/flower girls if having, best man & maid of honor, other brides maid & one of the guys. Then instead of one of the guys coming back in to usher the parents out the guy on the brides side steps down and escorts her parents out then the guy on the grooms side escorts his parents out. It's different but totally acceptable and further more it's acceptable to have uneven numbers. She's just goining to have to get over herself.
Good Luck with your mom and have a beautiful wedding.
2007-09-23 17:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by sorryfoot 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋