I met a guy on the internet 10 days ago, we've chatted and talked on the phone nearly everyday. I already really like him, which is strange, because I don't normally develop feelings that fast, but there's just something about him. Anyways, he claims he's not at a point in his life where he's ready for another relationship, etc. But! I'm falling hard for this guy. I decided to 'end' things with him today because it's starting to worry me about how much I think about him and already like him. He was a bit upset, and told me I couldn't run from things my whole life in order to protect myself (which is what I told him).. Basically, I ended things with an internet-guy because I like him too much too soon, and I'm afraid he's just looking for friends... I'm protecting myself from getting too attached, and ultimately getting hurt. Am I a dumb girl? Should I try and fix things with him, or am I right in ending things? =/ BTW: I'm not a kid..I'm 23
2007-09-23 10:39:00 · 16 answers · asked by jj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when i was your age(6 years ago), i also met someone on the internet, we talked everyday about almost anything, we definitely had the connection, i also thought it was very impossible to fall for someone you dont really know personally, but i guess, i was wrong, i fell in love with this guy, and it was too late for me to stop whatever feelings i have for him, for 5 years, we continued chatting and talking, sharing our ideas, laughing and crying over the phone, so i decided why not give it a shot, that maybe it's worth the try, what i didnt realize is that not all love stories end with "and they lived happily ever after". Last monday, we broke up, and i dont know where to start picking up the pieces again. i am badly hurt but i do not regret everything that had happened because at one point in my life, it was what i wanted.
i know it will be hard for you to treat him just as a friend since you've already started to like him more than a friend, but everything in life is a risk, you'll never know what will happen in the end if you are not going to try, you dont want to end up one day regretting that you didnt give it a shot. never be afraid of being badly hurt because that will make you become a stronger and wiser person. and even if he claims that he's not yet ready for another relationship, at least, you gained a friend. and just think about my story, not all end up in " they lived happily NEVER after"
ok, take care
2007-09-23 11:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by wella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay let's start from the top, you have known him for 3 years was this a constant every day seen him relationship or was it the once a week on the weekends thing? What do you really know about him? Not everyone on the internet is a predator. Most are just lonely people like yourself who have nobody to talk to or have a phone phobia. That's okay we are all made differently in this world. Do you have any mutual friends online? Like did you meet in a chat room and other people knew him? You might ask them if they heard from him but really once he is 'offline' he has to deal with reality, whatver that may be. If he is moving he wouldn't have a chance to get to his email, a phone call in this case might be the best bet. He might not answer you might only get his answering machine/voice mail. Be brief, state your concern, tell him you hope he got the job and wish him a Merry Christmas. Then wait... if you don't hear from him by New Years Day figure he is hip deep in reality and has moved on .. then you do the same.
2016-04-05 22:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, let me see if I understand this. He's not ready for another relationship. That means he wants to protect his... feelings..
BUT. He's not willing for you to protect your OWN feelings?
He's running from a relationship, but wants you to be handy to bolster his feelings?
Go with your gut feelings on this one. He's no doubt being friends with quite a few people right now and is probably married to boot.
That is not to say you can't find true love on the web. I met and married my husband after meeting him online, and I know several other couples who have done the same.
The difference between the man I married and the other guys who just "couldn't get into another relationship just now--(oh, please good woman, save me from myself)...was that the man I married cared about how I felt and wanted me and my feelings to be safe, important and didn't rely on me to make HIM feel better.
Give yourself time, space and breathing room. Assess your feelings here rationally and find the reasons why you fell for him so quickly, and why he backpedaled so fast, while blaming you for breaking things off.
THEN, make the decision..........the one that is right for YOU and YOUR feelings.
2007-09-23 10:49:11 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!!!! yall could talk for a while and then he may have had feeling develop for you.
EXAMPLE: I meet my husband online, the day we meet he knew there was something special about me and he knew i was the one. However it took months of talking to him before i started feeling something more the friends. but when i fell i fell HARD we meet 8 months after we meet we fell hard in love, and now were married.
The point to me telling you my story is that you may know already that theres something special about him, maybe he just hast gotten it yet give him time, keep talki ng to him and give him another chance., Good luck
2007-09-23 10:48:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Nolan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well that could be the right thing to do if he is not interested in you.because at the end of the day you find out that all he wants to do is be friends than you can end up being hurt more in the long run.you want to avoid that by stop talking to him all together which on his part seems shady.at 23 it should be okay to still talk to him if he does not want to be in that kind of relationship with you,but if you have trouble with that than maybe you should try end it.FIRST I SUGGEST NOT TALKING TO HIM AS MUCH AS YOU DO TO STOP THE ATTACHMENT .STILL TALK TO HIM BUT LESS THAT SHOULD HELP.
2007-09-23 10:48:48 · answer #5 · answered by kingml213 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's right to move on. But you might ask yourself why you're getting so infatuated with him, and if it's not perhaps BECAUSE he's not available. Some women have a great weakness for unattainable men because there's no danger of having to follow through with a real relationship. If that's you, you might want to take a look at it.
2007-09-23 10:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by palan57 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust your intuition, it's usually right, if you felt that you were moving too fast then you were.
To truly fall in love it takes longer then 10 days. Be careful, there are a lot of people on line that are not what they portray themselves to be.
Something told you to back off, so follow that instinct and move on.
2007-09-23 10:54:27 · answer #7 · answered by unknown friend 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well the fact u never met him is a big obstacle i must admit,Internet chats for most people are not so serious i dont know why its wrong to keep a frienship level and see how it goes .I mean do you even know who it is? its the internet .
2007-09-23 10:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by ahvillian 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He said he is not ready for a relationship and at the same time telling you to not run away...come on, he is trying to hold you......
2007-09-23 10:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by chaminda l 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ending it might be the best thing. have you met him in person yet? you might be making a mistake though ending it, because it can be a great thing when you meet him.
2007-09-23 10:45:57 · answer #10 · answered by dizzy2323 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋