My Friend Is 13 And Getting Married HELP!!?

Question

She Is Also Pregnant And Im Invited To The Wedding What Am I To Do It Feels Sooo Wrong Please Help

She Is Also Pregnant And Im Invited To The Wedding What Am I To Do It Feels Sooo Wrong Please Help Her Parents They Just Want Her Out And She Says Shes Okay But I Still Do Know About It

I Like To Thank You All For Answering And To Tell You Im Going To Her Wedding Thank You

Answer 1

There is plenty wrong with this.

1) 13 is too young to get married (emotionally-- if the parents ok it then legally it's a go)

2) 13 year olds shouldn't even be sexually active, much less pregnant.

But take a look... you can't change either of the above. You can't stop your friend from getting married, and in her home situation it seems like she might possibly be in a slightly better environment, at least for awhile, if she was out of the house.

I don't know what their living situation is going to be, if the father of the baby is much older than she is, or if his parents are more supportive... but if it's at all possible, the best thing you can do for her is BE THERE. Be a friend, be a listening soul, be a shoulder to cry on, be someone she can plan with, hope with-- and be scared with. YES, she will be scared. She might say everything is okay, but she's 13 for heaven's sake, and she's pregnant and getting married-- those are ADULT things, and she's not an adult. They are frightening and self-doubt-creating experiences for everyone... she's going to need someone around whom she can simply be herself and not have to put on airs. If you're close enough, try to be that person-- that will help more than you could imagine.

If you're very close to her, and you have real concerns (And you are smart to, dearie!)... take her aside quietly: "I'm concerned about you getting married." Then explain why-- her age and maturity, her family situation, the statistics along are staggering-- a girl her age may find it's a short term solution, but can you imagine-- she'll likely be divorced/ separated by the time she's 17. Not even a legal adult and gone through all that.

Tell her that she doesn't have to feel pressured into getting married just because of the baby... but then, ultimately, hun, the decision is up to her. I'm afraid that you can't do a lot to stop it, but you can be there to help later on.

God bless.

Answer 2

Is she getting married because of the pregnancy? How old is the guy? I think 13 is too young, if I were your friend I would give the baby up for adoption and learn from the mistake. Being forced to get married at that age is wrong, and the parents have to consent. Why would any parent consent to letting their 13 year old get married is beyond me. Why a 13 year old is having sex is beyond me too. She is just a baby herself. She needs to seek a counselor, not get married, give the baby up for adoption and get to a health class to prevent another pregnancy. What you can do is just tell her that you don't agree with her getting married, I mean she just stopped playing house what like 3 years ago and having a baby and a husband isn't going to be like when you "play" house as a kid, it's expensive and scary, and where is she going to live after they are married? I don't know the whole thing seems messed up but I guess tell her how you feel and don't go to the wedding if you are that against the marriage, or maybe you can stand up and say you object! This is a tough one but it doesn't look like there is much you can do.

Answer 3

Alright here we go.
I am 17, and sorta engaged to be married (in two ish years).
My boyfriend is in the Air Force, I'm going to be a nurse and yatta yatta.

I have a little sister who is twelve. The sight of her getting married and being pregnant, I can't even imagine.

I am a bit baised on the "giving the baby up for adoption thing". My boyfriend was adopted, and his life has basically been crap. If your friend loves. AND I MEAN TRULY LOVES her fiance, and they intend on being together forever, and parents are helping out then I don't see a problem. If she even has the tiniest ounce of doubt then I wouldn't go ahead with it.

My advice to you is just be there for your friend, even if you think it's wrong, if you love your friend, then she really needs your support right now, and you should give it.

Answer 4

Wow 13! I can't believe her parents are allowing this. On the other hand I can't believe they were so lax as to allow her to date anyone so young, much less get serious and end up pregnant. She has chose to take a very difficult path with her life.

The bad news is you can't do anything. It is her body, her future, her decision (and her parents since she is underage the age of consent).

What can you do? Have you talked to her about your concerns? Expressed to her your love for her and yall's friendship? This is pretty much all you can do.

Once you have discussed it with the only thing you can do is decide whether you want to support your friend and go to her wedding, to wish her great happiness and luck in the coming years. Or you could choose to cut her out of your life and not attend.

I hope you will chose to respect where she is in her life. She's going to need all the love and support she can get over the next few years of becoming a mother and wife almost instantaneously.

Good luck to you and to her.

Answer 5

You're friend is going to need all the support she can get, that's the only way any of this is going to work. Just try to be supportive and be there for her, because even adults have a hard time making this work!

There is just so much wrong with this I don't know where to start, but for that baby to stand a chance, she's going to need all the help you can give her!

good luck

Answer 6

Wow at age 13. Go to the wedding, show your friend some support. How does it feel wrong? You should feel good about it if your friend is happy, you should be happy too. Comfort her, and let her know that your a TRUE friend.

Answer 7

OMG what terrible parents, they should never even have had her if they are like that! Tell the police. because of how young she is (13) and pregnant, it can be classified as rape and they can put away her intended husband for having sex with a minor. It is not right for a 13 year old to get married and be pregnant, it is so wrong. Other than tell the police, I don't know what else you can do. Her parents are obviously forcing her into this and it is bad of them. I would definitely go to the police. Her parents can get into trouble too and she wouldn't be forced to marry then can give the baby up for adoption. There is no way she could be a mother at 13. Seriously, take my advice and save her from this terrible fate.

Answer 8

Besides throw up, there's not much you can do. If her parent's sign her away, then she'll get married (which in my opinion, is completely stupid).

You just have to try to support her as best you can. Be a part of her wedding, but realize, your friendship WILL change once she becomes a Mrs. and a Mommy.

Good luck

Answer 9

I know that it feels wrong to you but she is your friend so you need to be there give her some support because right now she needs all the support she can get!! If you was in her shoes you know she would be there for you so show her you care and just be there for her!!!

Answer 10

u have to support her all the way through, don't treat her any diff. than normal either, she already feels pretty bad about this i'm sure so help her through it. it may b her bad decision (i think) and her parents' bad decision but if they feel that this would b most appropriate than u can only hope for the best and help her...be strong, she'll need ur shoulder to lean on.