I think my ex is emotionally unstable...?

Question

I have a 7 month old son with an ex of mine (& yes I'm paying my child support). I've tried working with her on visitation outside of court because she said she wanted to keep things out of court as much as possible & I agreed. However, she's only let me see him about 5 times. She'll make agreement to meet with me but then won't show up or call to let me know she can't make it. Then she won't answer or return my calls for days or weeks if at all. Her reasons are that things are just too hectic at home or that she just forgot. At first I just thought she was just trying to be mean by not letting me see him. One of my friends is an ex co-worker of hers & told me that while talking to another worker the other day, was told that she is getting married to a guy she's been with for only 6 months & that she's been telling people at work that the only reason she's marrying this guy is because I'm trying to take her son away from her & marrying him will keep me from that.

I have not idea what she's talking about. I've only filed for visitation since she hasn't been letting me see him. I'm beginning to worry about her & the well being of our child. I think she has or is becoming emotionally unstable & I want her to get help. However, what should I do or what can I do to help?? Does it sound as if she's emotionally unstable??

P.S. She gets very easily angered at me and most of the time I don't even know why (which is why I broke up with her & this was before she found out she was pregnant too). But when she does, that's when she won't return my calls or emails and that's also when she won't show up for our scheduled meetings... How can I help or am I over-reacting??

Answer 1

You could take her to court to set visitation rights that she will have to follow no excuses.

Answer 2

First consider the very young age of your baby and how recently she has given birth. The first year or so after a baby is born is very hectic for a two parent household and impossibly so for a single parent. Nothing you mentioned sounds like emotional instability so if it is the case, you need much more serious examples. Otherwise you can chalk it up to her negative feelings about you whether you agree with them or not, and the normal hecticness of mothering an infant. The best thing to do is petition the courts for a visitation and support hearing. However, don't expect to get a lot of time with your child right now due to the baby's age. Developmentally, the child needs to not be separated from his/her primary caregiver for lengthy times, especially if the mother is breastfeeding. Such separations can create a lot of distress in the baby and have a long term emotional impact.
However, your regular presence in your child's life is also important for bonding. Ideally, you two should agree to allow you to visit your child in her home for a two to three hours once or twice a week, every week. My ex and I do this, and while it's not a perfect arrangement, it gives him parenting time with our baby so she appreciates his role as a parent. If you can agree on that, then search for something neutral where you can spend a couple hours at a time with your baby. It is hard an unpleasant to do so, but the best thing for your child is for both of you to put your childs need before your emotions about the other parent.

Answer 3

Get a lawyer on this immediately. The first thing after that, get a paternity test just to be sure. Then demand visitation or, if you think she is seriously unstable, go for custody. Document every single thing. Write down the time, day and incident and try to have witnesses if you can of anything "weird" she (or the new boyfriend/husband) may do. If you don't get a lawyer, she may say that you have abandoned them and have only seen your son 5 times so far even though she is the one keeping him from you.

Answer 4

well first go to court you are not taking your son to court you are taking her that way you know that you have visitation and she can not stop you seeing him on those days.also if you are worried explaine to the judge that you dont want to take the baby but you think she needs to get some help as she angers easily and you think in the long run this will harm your child not physically but emotionally so you want her to seek out counciling of some sort.it is your right as a father to see this boy and as for her marrying a man to try and keep this baby that has no effect on the case at all the judge will rule in favor of what is best for baby and has nothing to do with this man at all trust me

Answer 5

I would take her to court for support and visitation issues. If she is unstable, there's nothing you can do to help her, it's not your place. However, if you feel this is harming your son in any way, then you definitely need to talk to her about what is going on. If she won't talk with you, or withholds your son from you, get the legal system involved. Your son's welfare is the most important thing.

Answer 6

Get you a lawyer and get her to court. Do what the answerer said before. Have the lawyer hint that the day she gets married the child support stops. (I am not sure it does, I think it depends on the state). If you strongly feel she is unstable get your lawyer to make her have a psychological example to present to the court. If she is really unstable be prepared to be given custody of the child.

Answer 7

Start by talking to a lawyer in your area. Write down everything and find out if her ex coworker your friend will say something on your behalf in court. If you are to see your son on a certain day show up at her house to pick him up. You could find out alot just by doing that.

Answer 8

(A lot of people are emotionally unstable. BUT, you were given red flags before you had your son, so don't go tripping now) Take it to court.

Answer 9

You need to bring her to court,start writing everything down,the days you are supposed to meet for visitation that she doesnt show up to etc...

Answer 10

ok Connie beat me to the punch she gave you a short yet probable the superb answer. Darn her i become foiled with the aid of a therapist. No honest it would of been me to have the superb answer.