I have had a crush on a guy at work for about 6 months. We're both shy, and I kind of thought he felt the same way...so I wanted to wait for more signals, and see what might happen.
I know...workplace...bad idea. Still, I wanted to at least give the possibility a chance. But it's been a long time and I'm pretty sure it's never going to be. I want to get over it and move on now.
Unfortunately, I am still very attracted to him. And I'm sure he knows it. I get so nervous whenever he is around. I blush, and can't even talk without losing my breath. It's embarrassing and dumb. I wish I could be somewhere where I didn't have to see him. But my job is extremely visible. There is no way to avoid seeing anyone.
What can I do about this? I really need some advice. I have actually been thinking about finding another job - but that's so stupid. There is nothing wrong with my job. I just need to find a way to deal.
What would you do?
Thanks :)
2007-09-23 08:03:10 · 11 answers · asked by butterflygirl_558 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What ever you do, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT give up now. You might be letting go of a VERY good thing if you did. Go to him, find him, and tell him how you REALLY feel in your heart. Think about this: If you let this chance go by, then think about what you will have missed out on. Good Luck.
2007-09-23 08:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mike M. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a mental thing. You need to convince yourself he is just another guy and that he is not really all that interesting and avoid getting into predicaments where he will be alone with you. I am sure he does know you have a crush, but that is beside the point. The point is: you are right ... workplace, bad idea. New job, well, if it's the only way to get over him I suppose you could, but why not just kill that little fantasy about him and you by totally refusing to think about him and getting socially more involved with your other, not work friends so you feel like you have a life?? Lots of people get inappropriate crushes simply because they feel lonely, not because there is really anything there and it sounds like this is the case with you. So fight the lonely, but not by crushing on him.
2007-09-23 08:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by naniannie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Although at the moment this must seem like a really tight, horrible situation, it really isn't! You have a crush on a guy you work with-so what? Is the world going to stop turning if he knows and it's out in the open? Nope.
If you can't be relaxed around him, just don't talk too much to him! Be yourself-If he doesn't like it then it's tough on him-atleast you know...And trust me, the best way to get over a lil crush like you have is to know you have no chance.
It really isnt a big deal even though it feels like it-find out what he thinks of you-it may be embarrasing and uncomfortable for a week or two, but remember you won't feel like that 4ever! And then u can start feeling comfortable at work again!
Please take my advice-I'm talking from experience!
2007-09-23 08:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Office relationships can get complicated, but they can also work and be a good thing.
If you have such strong feelings for him you need to talk to him and find out if he's interested in you. If he is great start to date and take it slowly rushing in can be a hazard when you work together as there intensity at work and spill into the relationship.
If on the other hand he says no, he's not interested then you can be just friends or work colleagues depending on what you can handle.
Don't quit your job as the next job may have another guy you like and you can't keep quiting because you got an awkward situation. Moving job doesn't solve anything you need to take control and get things out in the open for both of you.
Hope that helps
2007-09-23 09:01:48 · answer #4 · answered by Nitro 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something that sometimes works for me is...
You have to honestly tell yourself that this is not going to work. Humans are like selfish little puppies and once that bit of hope that you might have him...only if you could have him..blah blah blah goes away, you'll wake up and find a new target...and be totally happier that you did. Right now I think you are dwelling on how you want him...that only if you could have him crap which ruins lots of womens lives.
I totally sympathies with you, and wish you the best of luck getting over this hopeless and therefore meaningless crush.
2007-09-23 08:10:09 · answer #5 · answered by boboo 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to give up on it? If you like him and you think he likes you in return then go for it. At lunch, say I'm going to "whatever" restaurant to eat do you want to go? Of he mentions that he is going somewhere local on the weekend, say Oh, I'm going to that too"! Don't give up on it. I had a crush on a co-worker where I used to work and we would do some flirting back and forth. Like you two, we were both shy and it never really took off. Looking back I wondered what would have happened.
2007-09-23 08:10:37 · answer #6 · answered by jack russell girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fastest way to get over one crush is to find a new one! And try not to find it at work, because you cant keep putting yourself throw this.
2007-09-23 08:09:41 · answer #7 · answered by doll and diamonds 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well definatly dont quit your job just ignore him and tell yourself that you there simply just for work and nothing else because i work invirement is diffnetly not a very good place with a for a relation just try hanging out with friends more and meeting new people to get him off your mind
2007-09-23 08:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by SK8er 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well, try to find someone who's not at your office. i mean, it might be hard at first to start looking for other guys who arent at your workplace because you like this one guy so much, but it'll be worth it if you find someone who can take your mind off this guy. :D
2007-09-23 08:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your head up and don't let depression beat u. I have depression my whole life I don't know life without it, I just found my first friend recently and I feel a little, better but jobs can be hard to find just set realistic expectations for yourself. I hate depression it sucks but you can still do whatever u want, if you really want to.I have no family that cares about me we never were close as a family,I have 7 brothers and none of them really talk to me much cause they all busy with their own lives and a couple may probably have depression to and cant be bothered with me. Anyway keep your head up and things will eventually get better, just relax and take care of yourself, if you let depression win you won't see happyness anymore untill u get serious help. If you think you can then you can and probably will I've accomplished a lot with serious clinical depression and now going to be going to university to study the brain. I still get those days but you have to fight it and believe in yourself number one.
2016-05-17 05:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋