Why is it so damn hard to get over someone who you loved so much but they just treated you like crap, why isnt it easy for me to say The hell with her instead of thinking bout her all the time?
2007-09-23 07:37:41 · 25 answers · asked by fast_or_slow127 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is very hard for anyone! When you love someone you love them with all of your heart and soul! You open up all of the doors to yourself, and share some of the most private things about you and how you are. No matter how she treated you the thing is you loved her with your heart! It is never easy to try and pick up the pieces and move on, when your heart and mind are suffering from a torn heart! You will always have memories of this love that went wrong. These memories you have of this relationship some will be good and some will be not so good! I know how hard it is to get over something this! My brother is now going through a divorce from his wife of the last 20 years! I see him cry, I can see the pain in his eyes, the only thing I can do is try to be positive, she left him for someone else and mistreated him! That does not stop his pain, it does not stop his memories, it does not stop him from wanting to hold her and say things will be ok! She is the one who has done this to him and there family! Her heart and the kids will suffer from this, at some point and time!! My best advice to you is to try and pick up the pieces and move on when you’re ready! It will take awhile for you to be ready to do this.
You can and will find someone that shares the same things you do. When you find love you can not hide it! Everyone can see the sparkle in your eyes, the smile of your face, is the one of complete happiness and love! Then you will know without any doubts or hesitation this is the one for you!
I wish you the very best of luck:)
Rags37:):)
2007-09-23 08:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows why things don't work. Usually its a lack of communication and respect. If you cant open up and talk then usually that marks the end of it. Also if you are mean when you are talking to one another sometimes what you say to hurt the other person gets in the way of the love. So if you still have feelings and she is free, maybe if you tell her that you love her she will reconsider, but if you cant open up then you will never know for sure. I have found that no matter how hard you try to say to hell with someone you love it does not work. I still love my ex's, it dosent mean I can take them back, or anything like that, but the feelings are there, and my last one...I would have taken him back if he had only apologized for giving me an anytime invitation and then getting mad when I showed up...we obviously didnt communicate well, and then he was paranoid because someone let me come through his apartment buzz door, which I get all the time...he thought I shouldnt take advantage of someone letting me through...if that were the case then no girls should be allowed into nightclubs or through any special doors without following every law out there...hehe, see how silly it sounds? Anyway, I couldnt fight with him and he wouldnt stop talking about it, I was there to get a "quickie" with him before he went to work, not fight, so I left...which was another thing he took all wrong...but anyway, if he would have apologized for making me feel so unwelcome I would have let it go, but he came off dogmatic, and so all I can say to you is open communication and non-judgement will get you miles ahead of all the other guys. Take Care, and the only way to heal a heartbreak is to resolve what caused it in the first place. Good Luck-Rachel
2007-09-23 13:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Megs said, you deserve better. But this was your life, your routine. They say it takes three weeks to change a habit. I bet if you start today to divert yourself, make some plans to do something different. Every time you start to wallow in your sadness, straighten yourself out by doing something for someone else. Volunteer somewhere, take a new class or , if you are in school, join a different club or society. Try to really not discuss this with people or it will 'feed' your problem. Years from now you will look back and say ' Why did I ever care about this person when they treated me this way.'? Trust me and on October 14 3 weeks from now, you WILL be better if you dont talk with this person , talk about this person, and try to change your thoughts when this person enters them!!!
2007-09-23 07:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the same reason why we always want something we can't have. We hate to fail. We hate most of all to fail at getting someone to feel for us the way we feel for them. We believe that there should have been something we could have done to make things turn out right, when the truth is there was nothing to be done. It's not you. Some people just don't feel the way we think they should. The only thing you can do about that is accept the truth for what it is. She meant more to you, than you did to her. Embrace that and move on.
2007-09-23 07:48:44 · answer #4 · answered by sleepingbeauty123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't believe me, but the reason is pretty simple and we all have done this whether we understand that we did or not. Plainly put: you were in love with the person you THOUGHT she was and would be, NOT the person she really IS. Dreams are very hard to let go of, and if you can understand that it was a fantasy (more or less) and sexual chemistry, than you can realize that you can let go of her and still have your dream. Once you can do this you will feel a lot better and be well over her.
2007-09-23 07:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by naniannie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
More than likely, you also had a difficult time pleasing or getting acceptance from your mother, too. This is what you're comfortable with: NOT being with someone loving and affectionate. So that is what is "normal" to you. It takes a long time to come out of that sickness, but it's best to just be alone for a while, treat yourself like your own best friend, and stay the **** away from chicks like that. The next attractive woman you see...ask yourself...can she be my FRIEND? If not, you are not even ready to talk to women.
2007-09-23 07:43:06 · answer #6 · answered by Secret Agent of God (BWR) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think if we knew the answer to that, or had a remedy for sale for that, we'd be Einsteins and billionaires. I can think of two reasons: first of all, you obviously were smitten with her and gave her your heart and soul which is causing you to overlook the abuse. Secondly, you are probably insecure. That is normal for people who have been "dumped". It's going to take a while for you to feel confident in your worth and desirableness to others. Thirdly, you are probably lonely because you haven't had the desire or opportunity to meet and mingle with other women. Try frequenting places where other singles hang out, seek out a singles club, or online site. Keep yourself busy so you will have less time to think. It's not just a cliche when they say, "Time heals." It really does.
2007-09-23 07:47:09 · answer #7 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sometimes its hard for us to get over someone or somthing once we've become emotionally attached. In a relationship we try to overlook the other persons flaws and mistakes to try to show that they really are a good person. JUst try to move on with life, and to regain confidence in finding someone else. Every time you think about her point out in your mind all the bad things she did to you.
good luck
2007-09-23 07:44:44 · answer #8 · answered by as 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its becuz u loved that person soo much and the other person its just like a cover up to hide the pain and even though that person is no longer in ur life ur still going to think of that person and what u guys done and where u went and not about the days that u was hurt life,love and everything thng sucks im still love my ex and its been 5m ago and im pregant and with somebody it and it sucks both ways u never know what have untill its gone
2007-09-23 07:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is because you were probably in love with her and you looked past her bad qualities at the time you were going out... and now that you have stepped back you now realize what a crap of a relashtionship it was. you also probably only think of the goodness of her, so maybe to stop think about her you need to think of all the bad things that she has done.
2007-09-23 07:44:32 · answer #10 · answered by Rain-Rain 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋