I recently had an argument with half my family about whether or not we have choices in life. They were saying that we absolutely "have" to do things and that we have no choice, just because we have responsibilities. I was saying that we don't "have" to do things, but we "choose" to be responsible. They were telling me that there is no such thing as choice. My family won't listen to others and won't try to understand them. If they think they are right, no one can tell them otherwise. To them no one else's opinion matters but their own. I know I'm not going to convince them, but I just need to know that someone out there understands what I am saying. It would even mean everything to me if someone were to even agree with me for once!
Can someone just reassure me and tell me that I am a human being, and that I have choice!!!
2007-09-23 03:50:05 · 21 answers · asked by Dave C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
:)
Part of growing up is realizing that you are not your family, and you have your own mind. Don't worry if they don't agree with you. Trust your own mind and have your own opinions.
(And generally, crazy people don't worry about whether or not they're crazy.)
2007-09-23 03:54:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that people do choose to live a certain way, so yes I agree with you. :)
It is in accepting the consequences of your choice that I think you are really arguing about. What I am trying to say is if you choose to not work, then you will have not money and as a result your life will be affected by that choice. Those are the consequences of your choice. If you want your outcome to be that you are a responsible person, you will most likely make certain choices. Like you will have a job and take pay your bills.
As far as them not listening to you, I think that is just how family is. They don't listen. But if you are trying to change their minds, that may be why you are meeting so much resistance. Maybe just getting them to understand your point is the way to go.
2007-09-23 04:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically, I've had the same problem with my father. I can assure you that there's nothing you "have" to do, nothing is preset about us - there is no destiny. Everything that hapens to us is the consequence of the choices we make. Now, I don't mean to say that it's easy to be free to choose. A lot of anxiety and unrest can come from this. But I guess it's worth paying this in return for the conscience of (responsible) freedom. That's why it's downright stupid to think and live as if you're a slave - we are only the slaves of our principles; I guess that's why immoral people get to have all the fun (it's not fair, but what's fair in life?). So, unless self-bound, you are free to do everything you like. Be happy about this and life won't seem such a dark place anymore.
2007-09-23 04:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Rares B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you have a choice. But I get what your parents are saying about the responsibility issue. To them there is no choice because the other choice is being a rude, selfish, lazy bum and they cannot bring themselves to even consider that as being a choice. I have to agree on that because I could not for an instant consider shirking my responsibilities as a wife and a mother. But yes you do have the choice as whether to be responsible or not. It's not hard to see which one is the right choice though.
2007-09-23 03:56:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only are you right, they are behaving like a bunch of bullies. Everything we do or don't do is a choice. Just because we do what needs to be done, doesn't mean we didn't have a choice, we just made the right choice. You should rent the movie "Dangerous Minds" with Michelle Phiffer. The characters have a discussion on this very subject!
You are 100% correct Dave.
2007-09-23 04:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by ReBelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes hon, we all have choices. That is why some people are homeless and some are not. Some people are a**holes and some are not. A lot of people on here with family issues today. You are not alone. Hang in there! It is amazing that in a family like yours you managed to turn out like you did. Don't change. I am glad you know that they are wrong and the way they feel is just their opinion. It is so hard to talk to closed minded know it all people!
2007-09-23 03:57:13 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you have a choice and it's all yours. You can choose to be responsible or not, you can choose to do either one the way you want to. No one has a right to tell you you don't have a choice. That's what this country's about. Freedom of choice.
2007-09-23 03:55:28 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you have choices in life, but you also have to be aware of the consequences of the choices you make, whether they be good or bad. It sounds to me like your family is either trying to keep you on the straight and narrow or trying to manipulate you by using this as an argument for you to conform to their ideas. You are your own person!
2007-09-23 03:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by coluche501 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally believe we all have choices, at least to some degree. That's not the real issue here though. You are allowing yourself to become all upset over something that really doesn't matter. Life is short, very short. Do not allow these kinds of silly arguements to keep you from enjoying life to its fullest. So they don't agree with you. So what. Shrug your shoulders and go find something that you enjoy doing instead. In the end none of it matters, does it?
Kent in SD
2007-09-23 04:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, sure, you could always do something else even though you're not supposed to. I could quit school, never brush my teeth again, and go be a vagrant in Hawaii, but that sounds like a stupid idea, so I choose not to.
Could it be what they mean is that you shouldn't view certain things as a choice because it shoud be something you automatically do and not doing it should be unthinkable?
2007-09-23 04:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Ambivalence 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family...what can you do???
Of course you choose to be responsible! How else to you explain the thousands of irresponsible people in the world? The bottom line is that you are not always going to agree with your family and they are not always going to agree with you. It's okay! You are a different generation and maybe a more abstract thinker. That's the joy of growing up and realizing that you can in fact CHOOSE who to be. Good luck !
2007-09-23 04:52:11 · answer #11 · answered by ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋