Can one love something, but truly accept it will not exist for ever?

Question

Is it possible to love something or someone, and not become too attached to them - accept it will die eventually, or be taken from you - not let your desire or greed overtake you - to avoid negative emotions - so that when the time comes for it to perish, you can accept the circle of life's right to take away and give what it creates.

My point is, if you can love something, but accept it's eventual perishment, and be enlightened - you can appreciate it for what it is, not be greedy and not create negative emotions which lead to suffering.

An example would be I love to play the piano, it is my life's passion. It's what drives me, it's what I focus on, and it makes me fufilled.

But when my fingers wither and I can't play anymore, or when I die it will go.

So how can I continue to love playing the piano, but not become dependant on it, find inner peace and harmony but also have these objects and aims - but not become too attached to them, as one day the opportunity to use them may go.

This is very much themed on buddhism, except I don't want to be a conventional buddhist as I believe true discipline is to accept we all have things which will perish (including our bodies) - but how can we use these, and not become too dependant.

Answer 1

Why do you have to "not become too attached to them" in order to accept it will die eventually or be taken from you?

Every living thing dies eventually. Death is a natural part of the Cycle.

That shouldn't keep you from enjoying every living moment to the fullest, and loving as deeply as possible in the time that you are given.

Yes, it hurts when the being passes on, but the fear of future pain is no reason to deny yourself the pleasure of current happiness.

Answer 2

There is a purpose for suffering. I know that the most negative and painful events, have been the opportunities for growth, and cataylst for change in my life. Its hard to remember this when you are in the middle of suffering, but I believe we can either remain in our negative experiences, or we can stand up, and make a positive change. In this way, we take the negative, and create a positive.

The following passage from The Prophet translated by Kahil Gibran, has given me insight on why we suffer, and its purpose.

On Pain
And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

Answer 3

Wow I had to read this twice..Of course it is possible to love someone knowing that it will perish or disappear. Not only is it possible it is neccesary. I think if you honestly cherish someone though you become attached to them, it is part of the process. It really does not matter if you love too much, reality is that death is part of life. That is the reason that I believe in loving too much, making the most of every moment, and just enjoying life with all it's twists, turns,curves and surprises. This life is all we have after all. Everyone SHOULD appreciate what/who they are fortunate enough to have discovered. Time spent on negative energy (hate, suffering,cruelty, small-mindedness) is wasted time that could be spent cherishing life & love

Answer 4

Are you concerned that mourning the loss of a living thing such as a human being or even a pet or some animal is negative?

All things in time and space are temporal - and will pass out of time/space existence. But loving and then later mourning is good for you believe it or not. It does sound awful, but check this out:

"1. "Happy are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted." So-called common sense or the best of logic would never suggest that happiness could be derived from mourning. But Jesus did not refer to outward or ostentatious mourning. He alluded to an emotional attitude of tenderheartedness. It is a great error to teach boys and young men that it is unmanly to show tenderness or otherwise to give evidence of emotional feeling or physical suffering. Sympathy is a worthy attribute of the male as well as the female. It is not necessary to be calloused in order to be manly. This is the wrong way to create courageous men. The world's great men have not been afraid to mourn. Moses, the mourner, was a greater man than either Samson or Goliath. Moses was a superb leader, but he was also a man of meekness. Being sensitive and responsive to human need creates genuine and lasting happiness, while such kindly attitudes safeguard the soul from the destructive influences of anger, hate, and suspicion."
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper140.html#5.%20FATHERLY%20AND%20BROTHERLY%20LOVE

And also, it is true that relationships with living persons are eternal values; nothing good in all the universe of universes is ever lost.

Answer 5

If you don't have the negative emotions which lead to suffering you are not living or loving. You must come to terms with your own humanity and accept death. When you lose your fear of death, you will still mourn for those who pass but you will not "suffer" for them. You will accept the "circle of life" when you accept life, love, happiness, hate, death, sorrow, and all emotions, good and bad, that make us human.

Answer 6

This is a temporal world. Relationships only affect us negatively on this 3d plane. The attachments we develop and lose are what causes our pain. We are so separated and alone in our physical bodies.

Answer 7

Loving somebody and loving something are 2 thoroughly dissimilar issues. Loving yet another person, and loving a non-human ( animate -- like a puppy, or inanimate -- like a automobile, a e book...) are dissimilar issues completely. once you love, quite love somebody, you placed aside your individual "greed", your individual desires which you prefer to be fulfilled. this is quite stressful, yet that's what genuine love is. the way a mom loves her infants, generally we are saying, as one responder suggested, "i won't be in a position to stay without you." this is stupid. you will stay, it's going to easily be different, unhappy, lonely. dying, separation, or perhaps the shortcoming to make a dating paintings are realities one has to stand. it may well be stupid to not comprehend they might ensue, or as you're saying "settle for" they are going to. yet you ought to lower back make the excellence between accepting it is going to satisfied, and coping if and whilst it does. yet lower back it quite is a factor of loving that individual, letting pass whilst needed, whilst the time has come, or whilst the dating is now not allowing that individual's growth. Yeah, stressful, yet whilst loving become person-friendly, we does not cost it plenty as quickly as we come across it.

Answer 8

All beings die; all things pass. I don't believe that you can avoid the pain, however; you simply accept it as part of the process of loving someone.

Answer 9

Of course you love your family don't you. They won't live forever and neither will you but you love and appreciate the time that you do have without thinking about the end.

Answer 10

Yes. Love is what you give. The eventual "letting go" is the gift that you give back to God.