My sister's son will be Married soon. All my Nephews cousins are invited to the wedding but mine seeing they are not the age of 18. I am the youngest Aunt. Also I have 5 children ages 11 to 17. There are a few kids attending on the Brides side because they live out of town. I have A great Nephew the age of 11, And My older Brothers adopted son age 17 are attending. I have really taken offense to this and do not want to attend but do not want to hurt my sisters feelings. Should I stay home or Suck it up an go for my Sis. My Husband refuses to go, so I,ll have to go alone. What would you do. Please Help
2007-09-23 03:02:09 · 21 answers · asked by mary f 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
This is not my Sister,s wedding it is her Son, I don't beleive she has anything to do with it.
2007-09-23 03:50:25 · update #1
I wouldn't go. For whatever lame reasons your nephew has given you, the bottom line is, he's shunning your kids while allowing other kids to go. His excuse is weak, and so is his spine.
Good luck.
2007-09-23 06:27:46 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok from the sounds of it, each of the people bringing an under 18 guest is only bringing one, correct? Meanwhile you have 5.
I understand both sides of the situation. If you're really that upset about it, suggest that the other children stay with your children at your home with your husband. That way no one's children attend, and everyone is happy. If that isn't feesible, you're just going to have to suck it up as you say and deal with it.
The children are there because they have to be, there is no viable alternative and it's important for the bride and groom that those people attend. I think your nephew and your sister wouldn't appreciate you not attending and your children have somewhere to go since you are local
Children at a wedding can be such a disaster. They interrupt speeches, dances and censor the type of entertainment provided. It's usually for the good of the party not as a to diss someone.
2007-09-29 10:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you take offense that your children aren't invited? First of all, there are times and places where children are welcome - some of them are weddings, some are not, that individual to each couple. Secondly, cost is a huge factor. Weddings are expensive - the average cost is near $30,000 if not more. Just for the sake of arguement, let's say that the bride and groom can afford to have 100 people from each side of the family. If the bride has a small family, she might be able to afford to invite her cousin's kids or whatever, but if the groom's side of the family starts doing that, then maybe a grandparent or best friend since kindergarten wouldn't be included. THAT would cause more hurt and resentment than not including some kids. You are a family of SEVEN, your older brother and his adopted son are a party two or three (including your brother's wife), yes? That makes a difference too. Thirdly, your teenagers would probably roll their eyes at the thought of having to waste a day (in their eyes) that they could spend doing other things they enjoy.
I would go and have a great time! If the husband goes, it's a bonus, if not, too bad for him. Leave your kids some money to order a pizza and some DVDs and let them chill out.
2007-09-23 04:05:20 · answer #3 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am assuming your sister isn't really planning the wedding, that your nephew's fiance's parents are.
It is what it is. There is nothing to "suck up", it is just a party that your children are not invited to. It is just a wedding reception, it is not that important in their lives. It is ideal that your husband doesn't want to go, he can stay home with the kids.
Go for your sister and nephew if you like. I doubt you are going to have that much to do with your nephew's wife's family in the future. Don't make a big issue of this, it's barely a blip on the radar.
The planners probably don't even realize that their daughter's fiance's mother's sister has 5 kids that are being excuded.
2007-09-23 04:26:16 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have to admit...I really only wanted limited children but my MIL and I decided it's best to open the invitation to close family for kids. So my family, his cousins and a few others had the invitation for the kids. As far as co-workers, I didn't mention to bring kids, that would have been pushing the limit.
I do think when guests have demands it causes more work for the bride. I had to make sure there were gift bags, special kids menu, and I even hired a sitter and an origami artist. We had 15 kids!!! ages ran from 6mths to 17 y.o. and they were really good. It's a lot to manage at a wedding. If you do talk to your sister I would offer to help in some way. Make some gift bags with the kids names on it. Set up a play table with candy and crafts.
2007-09-23 04:03:00 · answer #5 · answered by Lyla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, well when we got married, we were on a tight budget. i'm not sure what you're nephew's situation is. i DID invite everyone AND their kids, but prayed they wouldn't bring them because it was $9. a plate, child or adult. maybe since you do have FIVE kids, they didn't want to invite them. It'd be like $70. just for your family to eat! BUT if it's not that and you know it, find out! Ask your sister! Say, well I noticed so and so is invited and so is so and so. Is there a reason my entire family wasn't invited? I'm sure they wouldn't exclude them to hurt you so just ask! Maybe they didn't realize. Maybe you could have your husband show up WITH the children after the dinner during the dance.
2007-09-28 06:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go. This happened to me when I was a kid. We were 12 and 7 and were the only cousins not invited. (sorry the other 7 yr old cousin wasn't either) Anyway my parents went to the wedding and there were 3 year olds running around the reception from the brides side. It was more than insulting to my parents. If they are inviting kids but not yours it is either rude or your kids are not well behaved. You may not admit to it but you'd know if you have 5 hellions on your hands and that is the reason why. If they are good well behaved kids then stay home cause they are just being rude.
2007-09-23 17:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing incorrect about inviting adults to a social event and not inviting their children. There is nothing incorrect about making no provision for the care of their children during the event; that is the parents' responsibility.
Since there has been no incorrectness, there is no "suck it up" about it. Why on earth would you NOT want to attend? If your husband is foolish enough to miss this oportunity for a free champagne supper, then go without him and make sure there are a lot of photos of you having the time of your life. Just because he is overly sensitive and chooses to take offence where none has been committed doesn't mean you have to be equally petty.
2007-09-23 12:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's not fair that she's allowing some children to attend but not others. I would talk to her first and ask her why yours weren't invited. We're having an adult only reception, no kids under the age of 16. But we're not making exceptions for anyone. Not even for my cousins coming from across the country. It's not fair.
2007-09-23 03:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are extrememly expensive. I'm sure she would love to have everyone there, especially you, her sister and your hubby. 5 kids is a lot! Why don't you try to see the positive and make it a night out with your husband without the kids? She probably can't afford to have EVERYONE there and sometimes adult parties can get a little too risque for the kids. I don't think she is doing this to offend you, they are probably just trying to save a little money and you're taking it the wrong way. I think you AND your husband should go. It's your sister, and it's HER wedding day. It's impossible to please everyone so I'm sure there's always someone that will feel left out, not intentionally.
2007-09-23 03:12:32 · answer #10 · answered by Awesome Writer 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You and your husband should go to the wedding and not bring any kids. Be nice. Remember you will have weddings for your kids in the future and it is unrealistic to ask the bride's parents to pay for dinners for 5 kids. The meals may be $75 each at a hotel or more. Rethink taking offense. Think of it as a night out for you and your husband.
2007-09-23 03:07:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋