So last night I was talking to my gurl Amanda(white) and she was saying that her dad will not let her bf in the house b/c he is black. I said that is bullshit. Then I told her what happened and she agree's. Wtf She jumped all over me 4 saying I would marry and dated someone who was not white if I love them. Then she said well dont bring thoese funking kids around here. My parents act stupid they don't like black people,anyone who is not white they don't like u. The truth is my boyfriend is black and I love him to death he is so wonderful and sweet. How can I make my parents c skin color does not matter. I'm 17 he is 17 And I don't care what they think I'm going to marry him when i turn 18 he already asked me and I said yes. We dont live in the 1950's anymore its 2007
2007-09-23 01:53:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his parents love me to death
2007-09-23 02:01:30 · update #1
You are right that times are changing, but honey, I do not want to see you "rebel" against your parents.
If you rebel against them, they will not be there for when you need them the most like your wedding, when you give birth to their grandchild, believe me, giving birth is an experience that the family should share, you are bringing an angel into the world regardless of skin color.
I suggest you talk to your parents about this and try to make them understand how you feel, do not fight, kick, scream, holler, just talk and communicate and show respect for them and their values and in the end they will do the same for you, if you want to be adult with this whole issue, then act like one and when they see you act like one then, they will respect you like one :)
People have a hard time these days with people of a different color and it is sad, but remember when your parents grew up, they have the values that are instilled with them from their parents, that would be your grandparents, some people you can't change, but you can help them understand.
You are their daughter, and they love you, just sit down with them both you and your boyfriend, and talk, and communicate, and make it as civil as possible!!!
Treat everyone with respect.
2007-09-23 02:04:59 · answer #1 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very sad scenario. First of all, you are way too young to even think about marriage. Secondly, your family is obviously disturbed since they think race is a card in love. If you love someone, and I agree with you here, it shouldn't matter what color they are! Inter-racial marriages happen all the time, just be prepared that if you do run off and marry the one you love, you may forever alienate youself from your family. If in the end, it doesn't work out, they still may never speak to you again other than to say "WE TOLD YOU SO!" Your family can make your life a living hell if they are this racist. You may consider getting a job in another city or going to school in another city and moving there with your "friend" and living together (I can't believe I just said that), but it would be much better than running off to get married and destroy any relationship you may have with your family, especially if you want to stay close to them. If however, you are adament that you will never be a racist and don't want to raise any children you may have with ANYONE YOU MAY DECIDE TO MARRY with a family full of racists, it may be best to move away and start your own life. Either way, good luck. By the way, I have no problem with interracial relationships, my children are mixed.
2007-09-23 09:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by chefddr 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about that....that's the bad news. But over time their love for you will make them accept things they previously would never have considered; I know this from experience. My in-laws didn't like black people and made all of this noise about how confused our children would be (in the theoretical) and we had to listen to this mess, chapter and verse, because we were only 18. Once we actually had children however, they turned out to be the best grandparents on the planet. Life's just funny that way. We're all evolving into better people than we were previously, and that growth usually takes unexpected turns but we ultimately wind up with the perspectives we were meant to have. Reality trumps the theoretical everytime.
2007-09-23 09:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya know, years ago I had a discussion with a guy who made a stupid, racist stereotyped statement about Black people; he was repeating something he had heard someone else say, and I had to prove him wrong. But, the funniest thing about winning over the hearts and minds of racists is: I haven't found one single person that hates Black people that can actually cite an instance of one person of color ever doing anything to them personally...it's just a cultural fear, propogated by the masses to keep 'them' at bay; funny thing is, the U.S.A. is rapidly turning a light beige, lol You can run, but you can't hide!!!
2007-09-23 09:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep your parents are racists. Many people from that generation were. Even the ones who are not overtly racist still disapprove of mixed race marriages.
If you proceed with your marriage plans, don't expect to have an easy road ahead. You are both far too young to get married. You will find racists in both the black and white community who will judge you. And if you stay together long enough to have kids, they will be subject to racism too.
2007-09-23 08:59:22 · answer #5 · answered by ZCT 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi
Im sorry to say this but youre parents are not racist. No white family really wants there white daugther dating a black guy. No matter how rich or refinded he might be. But if he shows them respect and honesty and you show you care for the well being of thee feeling. I amsure they will have a change of heart once they see there daugther happy.
2007-09-23 10:26:17 · answer #6 · answered by ho8er2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell ur parents:
One color can not make a rainbow.
This isn' t the civil war anymore, everyone is equal.
BEWARE: You may get slapped and grounded.
I hope ur future marriage works out (have a piece of cake for me!! I love weddings) marrying young sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. If he loves you and you love him, I wish you well :-)
You parents need to chill, if my parents were like that, i would do the same.
Good Luck :-)
2007-09-23 09:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a shame, but that is the world we live in, you would think that by now people would accept this, plus there are sooo many interracial relationships now a days. I would just do what you want, if your parents really love you than the will have to accept your decision and try and deal with it if they want a relationship with you. What does his parents say?
2007-09-23 08:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well
That's the way they are; they are your parents. You don't have to agree, but respect them. Plus, you don't know what they grew up with, or the time they lived in, so you can't judge them for feeling the way they do, just because our society is different. Just let them live.
2007-09-23 08:59:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree, hmmm ,there is arguements as to why they would say that to you, try to see it from there point of view, no matter how narrow it is. and try and show compassion for them.
though my self in my occupation , ive seen statstics that point out some negitive things about racial profiling, i dont agree, but you know, its best not to see things as a rasist thing and be more accepting of ppl of diffrent race.
but when your 18 its up to you, if you feel that strongly about it, go for it. Just think about why your doin it, is it just in spite of your parents.
2007-09-23 09:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by kaneselo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋