My dad died 8 years ago but I still feel angry I miss him so much - will I ever come to terms with the loss?

Answer 1

He must have been a great Dad....the best memorial is to be missed, but keep him in your heart and try and move on...you need someone to talk to ...close friend or professional counsellor....You will eventually come to terms with your loss, but hopefully you will always remember him.

Answer 2

Its been 2 yrs for me since the loss of my dad...I struggle and am convinced that I will never get over losing him. I miss him every day. I think when people say time heals, its kinda the wrong thing to say cos healing makes us feel better right?? Well, I think that time doesn't heal, we just become used to living life differently, life will never be the same, but, it does have to go on. I recognise that grief has no steadfast rules...and too many people think 'well its been so long you should be feeling better about the whole situation', but I disagree totally, I think when someone dies who has been such an intergral part of your life...from birth...then how can you not miss them terribly and mourn their loss??There are days when I can remember my dad and smile or hold a precious memory to lift me but most of the time I just feel so sad that he isn't at the end of the phone, or popping round or making me a brew...its the littlest things that sometimes I miss the most. Don't beat yourself up about the length of time its been since he's passed away...if you feel the anger is getting the better of you and in the way of your memories, try CRUSE, its self referral and they deal with bereavement on all levels. I wish you luck x

Answer 3

Are you angry that you miss him or because he's gone?

When we lose a parent, no matter our age, we often feel abandoned, orphaned, disconnected. These are brutal feelings that tear at our happiness and affect our lives profoundly, distorting our perception of reality and making us stressed for the future. Will we ever feel truly happy again? Will life ever seem whole and right again?

Time does lessen the pain of loss as we slowly learn to cope and come back to the world from out of our grief.

Eight years, however, is a very long time to feel so angry. Seek out a counsellor that can guide you and help you find the root causes of that anger and suggest good, life-affirming ways to end the anger.

You deserve a full and happy life and you must release the past. I speak from experience on this matter and genuinely hope you find your way out. You CAN do this! Blessings!

Answer 4

Well I'd say number 11 is a big problem. I read the whole thing and I don't think you're being a crybaby at all. You're sick of feeling like a doormat and rightfully so- he shouldn't be treating you like that or making fun of you in front of others. That is childish and very, very disrespectful. As for him attempting suicide when you try to leave- this may sound callous, but let him try. He is only doing it for attention and because he knows it hurts you and will most likely keep you from leaving. This time when you leave, wait until he's asleep or not home, take what you need including your daughter and leave. As for your reasons to stay, staying married to someone who you've described is only going to be toxic later on. Your daughter will witness all the insults, the way you talks to you, the fighting, etc. Sure it's better for children to have both parents together, but it ISN'T better to stay together for the child- that will only hurt more in the long run. Saying someone has never hit you or cheated on you is not a reason to stay with them. At least, not in my opinion. That's like saying "yeah, she's rude but she's never tried to strangle me so I'll stay." .... It sounds like you are just now getting a *real* glimpse of who he is. From what you wrote, he sounds like an immature and selfish jerk. And thinking your daughter is only "good" when she is quiet and leaves him alone? That's really messed up. I would be pretty pissed off if I were you just from that alone. Just remember: you are responsible for your happiness- this guy isn't going to get with the program and the sooner you get away from him, the better.

Answer 5

My dad died 12 years ago. I still think about him and I believe I'm still angry at him for dying. I even caught myself crying at odd moments. I don't think I'll ever come to terms with the loss, but it does get easier to deal with it as the years go by.

Answer 6

I miss my parents everyday. It is impossible not to get sad in special occasions like Xmas, birthdays or special days. You have to learn to live with it and no matter how many years pass, it still hurts. My mum died first and it was a huge shock, I wasn't prepared for it and I suffered a lot. Then 5 years later my dad died too, and I felt really scared because i feared I was going to end up alone. I miss them so much!! but there is nothing I can do, so I have to go on living and fighting because I know they would be proud of me. Think about it. I'm sure your dad is also proud of you for being strong. Best of luck!!

Answer 7

There can be so many circumstances surrounding your dad's death that have made it impossible for you to move on. For instance, if you blame yourself or family members....that can make it hard. After 8 years, I would personally seek therapy if I hadn't gotten some peace about it yet. You need to get professional help to understand why you are still having such a hard time with it. It's natural to always miss him. Even 20 years from now, I'm sure you'll see something that reminds you of him and you'll miss him. He was a hugely important part of your life! But you have to find a way to find peace in your heart.

Answer 8

The vicar at my grandads funeral said this:
Grief is like a baloon. At first it is like a huge tight empty chasm inside you and you feel it may stay for ever. But as time goes by the air is slowly relesed from the baloon, which becomes smaller and smaller without you even noticing. As it shrinks is begins to feel less tence, until eventually all you have left is a small reminder of what you had, who you lossed. That little, shrivelled baloon will never really go away but you may not notice it as much, and rather than a pain, it will simply be a memory.

Answer 9

I lost my dad 8 years ago too.

It was doubly hard as when he died a lot of skeletons came out of the closet. He had been married when he met my mum and he never left his wife, my mum was his "girlfriend" so to speak. He died without a will and so everything went to his wife and legitimate daughters. Me, my mum and my brother were told to stay away from the funeral and everything! My mum was the "other woman" and his wife hated her. I've never met any of his family. Even though my brother and I are his biological children we had no rights under law because he wasn't married to my mum.

I was angry with him for so long, I gess the anger was easier to deal with than the grief.

I now feel sad that my 10 month old son will never know him but I don't feel so angry now. You will feel better in time although you will never forget your dad. I think of mine every day.

Answer 10

Hi.... i'm sorry for your loss, and sometimes we do feel angry when we lose a loved one. Everyone has their own periods of grief, and it takes some of us longer than others; however eight years is quite a long time to be angry... I sure hope you will look into good resources for help and support. You DESERVE good help!!

You can do a yahoo search for GRIEF AND LOSS, or try ANGER AND GRIEF. There are also grief support forums on line, you can do a search for those.

Please consider grief counseling, or a grief support group (many communities have grief support groups and you can probably find out about these if you contact a mental health clinic and ask for information).

Sending best wishes

Answer 11

My dad died when I was little - nearly 27 years ago now! I still miss him and feel angry at times. I does get better with time I promise! The best healer is talk - speak to your family about how you feel as they are all in the same position!