my daugher who is 6 , keeps sneaking out of the house and just wonders off. i have tried spanking, grounding, time out, and showing her sex prediters on the internet to try to scare her. nothing has worked yet far. please help.
2007-09-22 22:36:14 · 19 answers · asked by yesdog 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
This is a HUGE deal. A bigger question is how are you spanking her? I find that spanking is the "end all" for my 3 girls. Your 100% correct to be concerned, I would be going nuts if my 6 year old just wandered out of the home. Try this type of spanking, next time she "sneaks" out of the house, take her to her room, pull down her pants/panties (just past her tush) and spank her bottom red! At least 2 per year for the seriousness of what she did. I don't have to ask what would you rather have, a child with a glowing hot bottom, or one less child who's been kidnapped, raped, and or killed. Not a hard choice. Your daughter is telling you in so many words to step up the punishment, cuz what your doing is not working.
This is VERY serious, please for her sake don't allow this to go on, not that it's your choice, I know you want it to stop, maybe it's time to get a little extreme. Try it. The only other thing that might cure a child like this is to actually be kidnapped, we don't want that to happen, so take option "A" and make her ONE SORRY LITTLE GIRL.
Actually If dad is around, have him do the spanking, sometimes "dad spankings" are the worst, and might get through to her better.
Good Luck, and take care.
2007-09-23 00:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Ok first put some SAFETY latches at the very top of the door so she can't reach them even if she gets a chair. You don't have to have them latched ALL the time, just when you need to. After a while she'll find out she can't escape. ALSO: follow her, and see where she goes (without her seeing you). However when you leave LOCK the door and she what happens when she comes back (with you watching her of course) and can't get in. Let her knock for a while and let her see that she should make better choices. Before she gets totally hysterical come walking up and say, "There you are!" like you were really worried about her, "I've been looking everywhere for you". Then hug her and talk with her about this. The MORE talking you do will help in the long run. Also let her SEE either from newspaper or news on TV the horrible people out there that actually "hunt" for kids like her to abuse. I do think putting the fear in her is the only thing to help. This might be abit much but show her pictures of kids that have actually died at the hands of these sickos. (that's a bit much but you might have to resort to this). Final note: let her know if she wants to go somewhere to just tell you and you two can go together. Get a handle on this now...it only gets worse if you don't.
2007-09-23 06:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by OMGiamgoingNUTS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try tears. Seriously. Tell her that if she were to be out alone, some person might want to take her home and keep her, and never ever let her come back to see you, or her toys or her pet. Tear up while you say this. Tell her how much you would miss her, and that's why you are so serious about this.
Then tell her that because this is so serious - more serious than other things that could hurt her (running away in parking lots, running at the pool...think of whatever she's done that got her hurt...or that you warn her about), you're going to have to come up w/ a very serious consequence. It could be a favorite toy 'sneaking out', or a loss of a big privilege. My daughters once lost the privilege of going to an all school social function just 2 minutes before we were to leave.
Finally, put a lock on the door. Just a latch at the top of the exterior doors. Nothing that needs a key because that's a fire safety hazard, but just a hook & eye.
2007-09-23 04:16:49 · answer #3 · answered by DaisyCake 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well how is she able to "sneak out of the house"? I have 3 kids and one on the way and my 3yr old ripped his screen off and climbed out the window and hopped on a city buss at 9:30pm. Thank god the kind bus driver brought him back, i didn't even know he was gone, as i thought he was in bed sleeping. That was the first and last time he did it as i am more careful and more attentative to my son. I never realized how fast things can happen until that moment, and i could have lost my son forever. If your daughter snuck out of the house the first time and her being at such a young age why didn't you take measures to ensure it didn't happen again, eg put a lock high up on the doors. If you are aware of the sexual predators then it is your job as her mother to make sure she is safe. You obviously have no experience with children cause if you had you would realize that once is an accident but repeatedly is cause for concern and not just for the child but for the parenting abilities of the parent.
I suggest you take a parenting class and spend more time with your child, perhaps she is doing this to get your attention. I have to ask though while you are sitting here on the pc do you know where your daughter is now?
2007-09-22 23:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by Wishmaster 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK, first off I disagree that you shouldn't have shown her predators. Every child should see that predators look the same as anyone else. They don't look like monsters so kids have to use caution. One of the main things children believe is that you can "spot" a bad guy by their looks. By showing children "Hey, they can look like anyone- you have to be careful," you're being safe. Just as long as you didn't give her the details of their crime.
Next off, keep an eye on her. My children wouldn't be able to sneak out of my house unnoticed. I'm surprised she can get by you.
Do you know any police officers? I happen to know a few from my children's school and I would have them talk to her about danger. There must be at least one you can ask. Sometimes when our kids listen to someone in uniform (firefighter/policeman) talk about dangers and safety it really sticks with them more than if mom does.
Another thing that crosses my mind is that she might be bored. Get involved in dance/cheer/soccer or girl scouts. Give her something to fill up her time so she doesn't have to sneak out of the house for fun.
2007-09-23 02:07:59 · answer #5 · answered by plastic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain again and again why it is dangerous to sneak out on her own, tell her that her mom worries a lot when she takes off. Tell her the next time she wanders off she will get a spanking (and/or some other severe punishment). Then when it happens again go through with it. This may not work the first time, but it's worth trying again.
2007-09-23 00:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by cyranonew 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not paying attention to her if shes able to sneek out. Buy a large baby gate, I have one at the top of the stairs in my house and I put it up while we sleep or when I take a shower. The kids are 5 and 3 but both tall for their ages and they still can not get out. Also, you can install locks on your doors. If you live in an appartment, as long as you get permission and you pay for the locks they will allow you. The fact that this happened more than one time is not good. You as a mother should have done something the very first time this happened. Why do you show her sex predators??? You are kidding right? at six she should not have a clue what sex is and you should not be eplaining or talking to her about it. She is to young to fully understand what can happen, thats why YOU as the parents are supposed to protect her. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-22 23:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your doors locked and windows shut, only let her play outside if you are supervising. If she can't open the windows or doors she shouldn't be able to sneak out. If you are going to punish her, you may need to give her longer time out's or spank her harder, as whatever you have been doing isn't working. At six she is probably too young to 'ground' and talking to her about sexual predators is really not appropriate for her age, as I honestly doubt she understands fully.
2007-09-23 08:59:03 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Nicole ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bolts on the doors, high up, so she cannot get out without an adult. Until you can get them fitted, she may not go out of your sight, and that includes when you use the toilet. Treat her like a two year old who can open doors. Nothing else is safe.
I almost never smack my children - but if they snuck out of the house without me at that age (old enough to know it's wrong, too young to be doing it), they would be smacked until they howled. Sufficient that she will be afraid of it happening again. It's that serious. It could be the last mistake she ever makes. Assuming you don't smack for anything and everything, this ought to teach her just how seriously you take it. This is not about making her afraid of you. It's about making her afraid of something she SHOULD be afraid of at six: going out on the street on her own.
Forget talking about sex predators, she's too young to understand. She does not go out of the house without permission BECAUSE YOU SAID SO. And you simply must not accept defiance on things you say which are for her own safety.
2007-09-23 08:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have seven children and first I would not spank, and I would have to question your thinking in showing a child sexual predators online. Talking to her about sexual predators is one thing, I think you crossed the line with this stunt. Sounds like you need to make your house safer by watching her more closely so she can't just sneak out, maybe pay more attention to her, rather than showing her something she is not age capable of understanding. But by far I think you need to seek the help of a child psychologist for her, and definitely you need to find one for yourself.
2007-09-22 22:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by momof7 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋