He is on every single "recreational" drug you can possibly think of
One night i get a message from him saying "i need to see you, i just wanna hold you" so i let him come over and talk to him for a bit and thats all good
Then i msg him 2 weeks later to see how he is doing and he goes "sorry to say this but F *** OFF!!"
So i left it alone and didnt say anything to him and then the next day he says to me "sorry for the abuse figured it all out and its no more fun all the white has left only black till the end dont bother writing back have a good life and hope you find success"
I know that he is messed up because of the all the drugs that he is doing but my problem is i already have depression and all the rest of it so i want to help him but i cant because he pushes me back into my depression.
But im worried about him .. i know his parents pretty well, do you think i should tell them whats going on with him ? because i cant handle him anymore...
2007-09-22 18:57:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
He isnt my current boyfriend... he just calls me once a month or whenever he feels like it and i cant handle it
2007-09-22 19:03:27 · update #1
Girl- I will tell you what i tell all my girls- DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. he is using you- hate to say it but it's true and you keep letting him. YOU CAN'T HELP HIM- and he is an ex for a reason. You should worry about fixing your own depression and not take on him- as that is only a way to distract you so you don't have to worry about what is really going on with you! And don't go to his parents- as hard as that may be- you don't need to be any more involved with him than you already were and just need to make a clean break and get on with YOUR life. YOU are the only one that can make YOUR life better and how are you going to do that with someone who keeps dragging you down around??? Belive me- DELETE is the best word you will ever come across!
2007-09-22 19:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by jewels_blingbling 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i would walk away from this guy right away!! it will only get worse.
my ex-husband had a substance abuse problem that he was able to hide so well that i didn't know he had it until 6 years into our relationship (we had been living together and had a 6 month old daughter when i found out). i only found out b/c i was doing laundry and while putting his clothes away, i found the glass pipe and lighter he was using to smoke meth. it was all clear to me then-the paranoia that i was cheating on him if i was even 10 mins late coming home from work, the constant phone calls he would receive on his cell from people i didn't recgonize, and the abuse (physical,emotional AND verbal) i suffered. i called the police, had him arrested (he was charged w/possesion of drug paraphernalia and being under the influence of meth). i filed for divorce and full custody of our daughter. i was so afraid the first few months after he left b/c i didn't know just how many people he was associated with b/c of the drugs and i didn't want someone coming after me or my baby. i moved about 2 months after the divorce to make my life safer.
that was 5 years ago. he has gone through extensive rehab and has to be tested every week in order to continue having rights to his daughter.
the longer you allow yourself to associate with him, the more you are putting yourself in danger. he could become abusive towards you, put you in harms way w/the people he is associating with (what happens if he ends up owing a dealer major money and gives the dealer YOUR name to help him pay off the debt?!!)
tell his parents and get away!! let them help him get straight if they choose to do so. don't return his calls,text messages, and get an order of protection if you think you need it.
tell him that since he can't choose between you and his destructive lifestyle of using drugs-then you want no part of him OR his life.
i wish you luck and remember to be strong-you're looking out for yourself here.
2007-09-22 19:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by prncessang228 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wash your hands of this guy. Delete his number, don't answer his calls or texts, tell him to leave you alone and find someone who will take care of you and love you and not want to be with anyone else.....and yes....drugs are a someone else.....it's a demon that destroys alot of lives and hurts plenty others. It's really sad but there isn't anything you can do until he makes up his own mind. Let him go cuz he'll just drag you down with him. You'll find someone much better. Speaking of which......I'm single and moving to Phx in a couple weeks....are you anywhere near there? You sound like a very caring person....lol. Ok, this feels weird. lol.....good luck
2007-09-22 19:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't need someone like that in your life. He needs to get off the drugs. Have him choose between you or the drugs. Don't give in and feel sorry for him, or you will be fighting a loosing battle that you and him cannot win together. Stick with your decision and don't come crawling back to him until he is clean. You don't want that in your life.
2007-09-22 19:42:27 · answer #4 · answered by Richard_CA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if he is on drugs there is really not anything that you or anyone else can do to help him. He has to want to help himself which it doesn't sound like he wants to do.My uncle's ex-wife was a drug addict and no matter what anyone did to try to help her,nothing worked. Why? Because she didn't want help. 20 years later and she is still a drug addict. I know that is sounds selfish but you need to worry about and take care of yourself because nobody is going to do it for you.I am sure that his parents already know that he has a substance abuse problem.
2007-09-22 19:32:25 · answer #5 · answered by kittysoma27 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you nevertheless have thoughts to your ex? in case you dont have thoughts, dont issue/experience in charge too plenty! he's your ex boyfriend, you're certain to consistently think of a few issues he does are candy. Ive gotta say although....... in the experience that your boyfriend famous out i do no longer think of he would be happy! consistent with probability it would be ultimate in case you instructed him your self, i think of he'd understand greater in case you heard it from you and he might additionally be waiting to help if youre perplexed approximately all of it! :) i desire it seems ok!
2016-10-05 05:19:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in a very similar situation with my ex and his behaviour continued for almost 5 years and I let it. I always believed if I loved him enough and was there for him when he needed me everything would be ok. In the end all I got was heartache and lost time. My advise for you (as hard as I is) is to walk away - it is his choice alone to use drugs don't let him drag you down by playing on your emotions. Good luck x.
2007-09-22 19:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by *dream weaver* 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut off your ties with him. You can't sacrifice yourself to save him. Plus, I hate to say this, but you can't save a drug abuser. It takes more than one person.
That said, you should let his parents know so that they can try to get him help. If you don't feel comfortable out right telling them you could write a letter. You could even leave the letter anonymous.
Good luck.
2007-09-22 19:25:42 · answer #8 · answered by gumby 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely nothing! You are not his keeper anymore. He is you "EX" which means "NO MORE". If he keeps hanging around then you will never be free to find someone worthy, besides all the needy ex-boyfriend drama will scare them away! Go live your life!
2007-09-22 19:00:36 · answer #9 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
With your depression, you are in no condition to be fixing anyone. Tell his parents as they would want to know and be able to help him. In fact, they have much more resources availble to help him: money, insurance, doctors, etc...You need to focus on you with your depression. Good Luck
2007-09-22 19:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by MHnurseC 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋