I have been dating this army officer before he left for Iraq. He told me he was getting his divorce done and I trusted him.
After I did everything to support his deployment for 5 months, including suffering a miscarriage (of his kid) by myself, $500 a month on care packages/phone cards and helping his father to get through this etc. he told me he never got the divorce done, and he had to work on his marriage again as his wife threatened him. I don't even know what is truth what is lie anymore.
I am so depressed now. It's so not fair to me, what should I do next? Please help.
2007-09-22 18:23:35 · 14 answers · asked by Dizzy 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
HI THERE
WOW THAT IS TOUGH . LOOKS LIKE HIS WIFE WILL NOT GIVE UP HER SHARE OF THE MONEY SINCE HE IS IN THE ARMY. i KNOW IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU TRUST ME i KNOW HOW YOU FEEL . TRY IF YOU CAN TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE REALLY i THINK THERE IS NOTHING TO DO UNLESS YOU TELL HIS WIFE AND YOU WOULD NOT WANT HIM TO HATE YOU 4 THAT.
try changing your phone number and try to live your life the best way you can. men are like little boys they never stop playing games . They don not know how much they want of a women till it's too late and they get caught in a trap. sounds like lies to me want he told you. men would play all selfish games with a women heart it's us women who have to stay our grounds and show them we are not place mats to be step on when ever they want.
so girl stop the heart and get with the flow he is a army officer but with no heart in his soul your a women out of uniform but with a heart of gold. let the time of the wild men end now and let the Kittie live on a new life find a men that will give you your time of day you just leave him in god's hands and pray for him but you do not need the tears and the depression .
life is not fair but we all work hard to see our dreams come true makes yours with a loving men that truly cares.
be well be safe god bless
2007-09-22 18:42:29 · answer #1 · answered by sugarlove_one 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will, at some point, have to get over it and move on. There are different ways to go about doing that. One thing I've done in the past is write him angry letters, expressing exactly how I feel. Only I never send the letters. It just helps me sort out how I feel and see it on paper. Sometimes when you write a feeling down you can actually see how silly it is. Another suggestion is a vacation. Separate yourself from the problem for a little while. Get away and have some fun. Also, what about your girl friends? Why not have a girls night out to get your mind off things. Whatever you do keep in contact with him. It is over. Keep your dignity and move on.
2007-09-23 01:33:33 · answer #2 · answered by Laura in North Carolina 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sorry but sounds like this man is most certainly not a gentleman even if he is an officer............fail to see why you was spending so much on care packages though, as for what you do next, well I think the best thing is to move on and never mess with a married man again and maybe ask to see the papers before hand.
How come his deployment was for only 5 months ???
regards
2007-09-23 01:30:22 · answer #3 · answered by candy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss.
First Don't ever date married a married man.
They don't leave their wives.
2.Learn from this and move on.
3. tell his wife about the affair. if she don't know.
4.Also if he's an officer you could right his comander, just to inform him/her of this offcers morrals, and weak carichter .
he show a real lackof jugement and should be out of the service. He's not fit to lead other as he has a weak moral fiber.
Get him burnt.write the letters.
2007-09-23 02:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like someone's content leading a double life at the expense of others.
Getting involved with a married man is never a good idea, even if he says "I'm going to divorce my wife" or "Oh, we're separated". The most you can do is learn from your mistake and find someone with a bit more integrity to spend your life with, I'm afraid.
2007-09-23 02:02:25 · answer #5 · answered by Gotta have more explosions! 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
wow.....i got first hand experience on this... LEAVE him ALONE!!!! He's not going to leave her because the military could make his life a real living hell. besides that he could be put out, dishonorable, cut in rank, have to pay her every month, she keep all her benefits...and so on. and if he dies anytime soon, she still gets it all!!!! I think you guys got caught up in something to deep. maybe he was hoping you would just get tired of it all and leave in peace. wow..I guess now he realizes how bad he messed up. the military could burn him up
2007-09-23 01:31:13 · answer #6 · answered by red01 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
hes never getting a divorce. i used that same game for 6 years. move on to someone who really cares about you.
believe me, all you will be doing is dragging it on if you don't.
2007-09-23 01:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by Tonethebone 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
So you knew he was married when you "dated" him?
getting divorce done, and having divorce done is 2 different things.
You have everything coming to you.
2007-09-23 01:32:27 · answer #8 · answered by meatbag 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Forget it about him, treat yourself to a day spa, and find a single guy.
2007-09-23 01:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by bobanalyst 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
move on =he's married. get some counseling to find out why you are attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable to you.
2007-09-23 01:30:56 · answer #10 · answered by KitKat 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋