overweight?

Question

I am overweight and very self conscious...i was wondering if i will be able to get a boyfriend even though im overweight.....it seem as though nobody wants to go out with someone who is bigger......and how can i get past being overweight and quit being so shy? please give me some advice...no rude comments please

Answer 1

Confidence sells. My friend in highschool was overweight and she had throngs of guys after her 'cause she just didn't think anyone was good enough for her! And I've driven people away by my insecurity & neurosis.

If you are young, your chances may be limited. I didn't gain weight til my mid twenties, but by now, it isn't as much of an issue. The reason, I believe, is that young men aren't as capable, and comfortable, thinking for themselves, and allow popular culture and their perception of what their peers will think influence an awful lot of their life. As they get older, many of them realize that they either don't mind women with more shape, or even that they like it.

The Skinny thing is really kind-of a new thing, beginning in the sixties with the whole "Mod" thing, exemplified by the model known as Twiggy. But, like, it's not, historically, the rule. A character in a George Orwell novel talks about his principal criterion for a suitable "mistress": that she not be too skinny! Marilyn Monroe wore a perfect size sixteen. I was just reading a '40s edition of Emily Post in which she speaks of sixteen as the ideal size.

Be confident! Take pride in how you look. Wear your weight well; wear clothes that make you feel good about your shape. But, moreso, concentrate more on your personality. Also, remember: "good" looks don't help us meet the right guy. They just lead us to a lot more wrong ones! Ultimately, and okay, not as often as we'd like, someone comes to know us unintentionally and finds themselves mysteriously drawn to us by some unexplainable inner force, and THAT'S what rocks. So, furthermore, be open to that possibility of finding yourself intrigued by someone you've come to relate to, without initially noticing them superficially.

Oh, and, as an epilogue, I was on this forum on which a man posted a statement, "I love skinny women!" and seventeen men agreed. Following, however, was a post from a guy who said "I love plus-sized women!" to which 58 men agreed.

Answer 2

Overweight men are not rewarded--they have high cholesterol and end up diabetic and debilitated in their 40's. You are making an extreme error in logic. You are mistaking a correlation for cause and effect, which is common among sloppy "social" science types. Working in the corporate world is extremely time consuming--they basically expect you to turn your entire life over to whatever shallow, materialistic pursuits are necessary in order to push up profit and stock prices. The men who do well in our economy generally have no life. They don't have time for fitness and proper diet and tend to relax with drinks and unhealthy food. I can see this clearly among my peers. I, on the other hand, am more or less a professional failure, but I'm still a competitive athlete at 40 and have the body to prove it. I couldn't do that if I donated my entire life to managing some bull **** corporate office. I do think that skinny women tend to be treated better in our society and that overweight men are not as discriminated against as overweight women. But all overweight people pay a price that is bigger than financial when their health starts to deteriorate prematurely.

Answer 3

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that being overweight is fine. The truth is that if it were fine they wouldn't call it overweight. You really need to change your whole life style to lose weight. I'm in good shape but i have been a few pounds overweight in the past. The best way i found to eat right was going to the store and buying tons of those frozen dinners that are low in fat. 'cause let's face it, no one wants to cook when they're on the run and this when we're tempted to buy McDonald's. First thing you need to know is that the first step to losing weight is all about you. No one or nothing can help you take that first step to exercise or start eating well. But once you do take that step and you can look back and say "i have eaten healthy for 3 days" or " i have worked out three times this week" you will feel so good about yourself that your motivation will sky rocket and it will make you want to continue. I'll tell you something else: there is no better feeling in the world than when you step on that scale and see that you've lost weight or when a random coworker says "you've lost weight, you look good." Aside from out mental health and happiness the second most important thing in our life is our body. Good luck!

Answer 4

Some guys are more personality focused. If you aren't bent on losing weight then these are the types of guys you should look for. Then there are the guys who are all about the body. Anything but a nice body and they'll probably just ignore you. Of course, I'm not going to lie and say that the personality guys don't care about what a girl looks like. Everyone has their preference of looks.

The best thing to do though, is probably trying to lose weight. If you improve your attractiveness then more guys will pay attention. You might get more attention from the shallow guys, but the personality oriented guy friends will be happy for you, and they'll be even more attracted to you.

Answer 5

first of all you need to take things like a woman! if you writeing no rude comments thats showing that you are very self concious even on the computer where no one knows you so get out there and be outgoing. You can be the ugliest girl in the world but the most outgoing and get all the guys, So be outgoing and you dont need a boyfriend either as long as you got your family and friends.

Answer 6

aww. im sure it's tough being overwight. im not rly sure that is directly linked to shyness. i am 120 lbs, and i will not speak to anyone that i havnt known for more than a year. i believe that is considered shy. but if you believe it is, then i suggest talking to your doctor about maybe designing a weightloss plan.
also try to work on it. i kno that is difficult, and it sounds like i dont know what im talking about. but little steps are the best ones to take.
I bet you, that as soon as you start to loose those first few pounds your self confidance will soar. People can see that. if you dont think you are pretty, or worth someone's while then you are like a candle under a basket. but if you think you are worth something, and that you are in your own way beautiful then you will shine like no one else. Many guys notice that.

(they're like moths, attracted to bright shiny objects.HAHA, just kidding)

Answer 7

I've had a weight problem since I was nine, so I understand where you're coming from. They guys that wanted to date me all wanted the same thing, thinking that I"d be grateful just to be with a guy. I think it's written in some guy's genes that they know that most heavy gals have a lack of self esteem, and are willing to settle for anything, so as to not be alone. I so desperately wanted a guy to just want to hang out with me just because he liked me. It wasn't until I was almost 19 that I finally met a guy who liked me the way I was, with no strings attached. He said that he'd rather go out with bigger gals because they were more honest about themselves, and weren't stuck up. The bottom line is, if any guy gives us a chance, they'll be getting one heck of a fine gal. One they can trust to not step out on them when their back is turned. One they can count on to always be there. Ya know what? I married that man...and next month it will be 30 years. So, is it possible? Oh yeah, sweetie. More than possible. Now, as to how you can get past being overweight...that's a personal decision you'll have to get to yourself. You'll have to come to that place where you're ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle, for the rest of your life. That doesn't mean you can never have goodies...just fewer of them. You're young, so if you get into a healthier lifestyle now, it will become a normal part of your life. As for being shy...join the club. I'm still shy, in some areas. With maturity, much of your shyness will pass. Shyness is overcome by being exposed to the things that make you shy. Join choir, or a speech club. Join an organization where you'd have to speak in front of people. My husband talked me into selling Avon. That's where I lost most of my shyness. It's hard to be shy when you've got to talk to people in order to make a sale. Speaking of sales...that's another way to overcome shyness...offer to help with a bake sale, or brat fry, or other fundraiser program. It does two things at once...raising funds for a worthy cause, and helping you overcome your shyness. In the source section below, I will list a few helpful sites you can look up that will help you with your weight situation. I am a member of all of them, plus Curves. They all work really well. Just remember, nothing will work if you don't make it a part of your life, and be honest with yourself. Be good. Be safe. <*)))><

Answer 8

how overweight are we talking about here?

instead of being sad about being heavy, why not diet, exercise, and lose some weight? that's what i did and i've lost like 35 pounds this year. it can be done.

a lot of guys, myself sometimes included, like big girls. plenty of curves and meat on the bones. :) i would not be at all surprised if you could get a bf fairly easily. you may not get the hottest guy around (newsflash: most other girls won't either) but you could probably get someone pretty good.

also, it's widely believed amongst guys that big girls are great in bed. that they make up for what they lack in looks by being really skilled between the sheets. not sure if it's true or not (never been with one), but that perception may be an advantage for you.

Answer 9

Work on your personality, learn some great jokes, but don;t get stuck into being the funny, chubby girl. If you really focus on yourself and you are happy, that will show through. There are boys who are not only interested in looks. Maybe seek out a boy who isn't the hottest, chances are he has the same worries as you.

Answer 10

Your weight wont matter when the right guy come's along , despite what society like's to claim about thin is in and you have to look like a skeleton to get a true relationship , it's a farce.

Your shyness it what will attract a decent guy dont let it go and just be patient.He'll find you when you least expect him to.Just make sure to dress nicely .