hey guys I know this might be a taboo or even overrated question but I just wanted to know how people have dealt with the loss of someone close. I lost a close relative to cancer all but 12 hours ago and I feel like I'm voided in emotion having cried, got mad, bewildered and frustrated.. now im slightly numbed and don't quite know how I go on. I know everyone has their own way of dealing with things but just to help me to understand an aspect of life I've never had to deal with before could you kindly share with me how you have regained strength after such an event.
2007-09-22 16:17:04 · 10 answers · asked by Cameron T 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
reach out like you have done and know that we care and hurt with you...
2007-09-22 16:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have lost several family members and close friends. I hope that this will help you. The first part of the grieving process is denial it didn't happen, it's a bad dream something will turn up to prove that it's been a horrible mistake. Than you go through the why did you leave me stage, How could you do this to me?? How could you leave me to deal with this pain and loneliness?? What did I do to you that you would but me through this?? On some level you know that this doesn't make sense the person didn't leave you on purpose unless they committed suicide. But right now you don't' care if it makes sense it's what you're feeling so you go with it. If you believe in God than the next stage is why did He/She let this happen?? He's/She's not supposed to want people to hurt this way and so why would He/She let you hurt so badly for no reason. After you get over the stage of being MAD at God than you get to the part where you accept what's happened and in corporate it into your life. NO one can tell you how long these stages are supposed to last, NO one can tell you how long the pain will be with you on a very real plain, that's something that's going to be unique to you. Don't let someone tell you how to feel or how to grieve just let yourself heal in your own time and way.
2007-09-22 23:58:58 · answer #2 · answered by Kathryn R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only time can ease the pain of death, your emotions are going to be everywhere and your going to want answers to questions that can't be solved. Some deaths are more devastating than others only because it depends on closeness, love and friendships. Honestly, I lost a friend, a BEST friend when I was 11 yrs old he was suppose to be my soul mate for life and now I'm 31 yrs old and I visit his grave only when I can with hold my emotion cause I still haven't accepted it. I just now am talking alittle bit about it in therapy. I wish you all the strength you will need but no it will not be an easy journey... All the Best, and I truly am sorry for your loss..
2007-09-22 23:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by chantale 31 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tomorrow I'm going to my father's funeral. I know the feelings you're having. They're all normal. Grief is like a storm, with all the emotions stirred up and flying around. The numb feeling is like a short break, then the intensity hits again. Go with the feelings as much as you can - cry, express what's going on with you with someone who can be there and listen. Grief is natural, and healing is also natural. Over time, the storm lessens, and you get to keep the good memories and the love you and your relative shared.
2007-09-22 23:37:05 · answer #4 · answered by Dr. D. Star Reader 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad from bone cancer, so I can relate. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to allow yourself time to grieve. You must do this because if you don't, all your emotions will only be shoved down deep inside you. They will fester until they are dealt with. To get over the pain, you must go through it. Everyone takes their own personal amount of time, so don't let anyone tell you that it's time to move on. The last thing you need is for anyone to tell you "life goes on"...sure life goes on, but part of life is losing people that we love. And anyone who has lost someone knows that you need to give yourself time to feel all that you need to feel. Keep busy, remember the good times, and know that they loved you just as much you loved them. Take care of you *hugs* <3
2007-09-22 23:47:22 · answer #5 · answered by Duckie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In 1999, I lost my 15 year old daughter to complications from kidney failure and 18 months of peritoneal dialysis. I got in the hospital bed with her at the end and held her as she died. It took me a long time to get over it, but I had to be the strong one in the family, her 7 year old little sister was having a hard time and my hubby (who quit his job to stay home with her when she got sick) needed me. I cried at the funeral, but didn't really let it all out until one night months later when I went out on the back deck in the middle of the night and screamed/sobbed into a pillow for 3 hours. You do feel better after a time. Just keep busy and talk about it to whoever will listen (That's hard because people get nervous talking about death). I wish the best for you and please know that with time, you will remember the good things and be happy. I also lost my mother in 1998 after she committed suicide. It took me longer to get over the anger than it did to get over the loss. Give it time. Best wishes, sweetie
2007-09-22 23:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by b_friskey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It takes time .. do what you love, exercise, take a walk and deep breaths. ...have fun with people you love and make you happy ...look back at the fond memories and smile about them =]
However if you're really struggling, you could talk to a counsellor or someone you either know very well, or dont know at all . Different things help different people =]
x
2007-09-22 23:27:12 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ уσυ вєℓσηg ωιтн мє ♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For grief related depression, go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email jo@samaritans.org Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/gri... and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com... and http://messageboards.ivillage.com... Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/... and http://www.boblivingstone.com?q=node30.. Understand that there are often several stages of grief. See www.amazon.com for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If the depression continues, visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net. (.net.nz/~shaneris) in section 2.
2007-09-23 00:14:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
the world may seem as though it is closing in around you, but there is light. time is the only thing that will ease your pain. i know this all sounds cliche but it is true. when my mom died...well i can't even explain all the emotions. all i know is this: it will never get better, but it will get easier. if you can understand that.
2007-09-22 23:24:52 · answer #9 · answered by betapialpha 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that i lost my 18 yr old cousin (he was shot in the head) and my grandfather (heart attack) on my cousins 1yr anniversary. all of my family was devasted. its hard but all you have to think about it is that they are in a better place and time is the best cure for your sadness. its really hard and yes there is sleepless nights by you just have to be strong, and hang in there!!
2007-09-22 23:30:21 · answer #10 · answered by k_ulani 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋