I'm a student worker on a college campus and this guy I work with seems very interested in me. In fact, he told me that he likes. I've told him that I am not interested in him, but he tells me that he does not give up easily. I don't want to be uncomfortable at work, but all of the students work in one big lab together. How do I tell him no without making a bad situation worse for me at work? I really want him to leave me alone. I don't have a boyfriend to frighten him off, but I have tried telling him about the guy I'm talking to and pointing that guy out when he's in our lab (along with making a point of talking to that guy). I can't just ignore him, it will look strange in our small office. I don't want my boss to know about this, since I think this sort of situation would make him angry. Should I just try flat telling him all of this, or will that make him angry? He has no chance at all of ever getting a date with me, so I want to make that as clear as possible and soon.
2007-09-22 16:14:23 · 11 answers · asked by Rebekah 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This is a tough situation and always is but harassment in the workplace is illegal.
Tell this person exactly what you said in your question "I have no intentions of dating you"--and if you don't accept that, I will file an official complaint of harassment. I would much rather have a professional work environment and would appreciate it if you would respect that. If you cannot honor my request, you will force me to take other steps.
Document the day and time that you say this. If he doesn't back off, go to your boss--it is better than your boss being contacted by HR and not having a clue about what's going on in his own lab. If he doesn't take immediate steps, then go to HR. Also, document every time this guy makes unwelcome advances.
Or say nothing and avoid, avoid, avoid. Be careful, some guys take this as a challenge and will press harder.
I wish you luck!
2007-09-22 16:34:14 · answer #1 · answered by Bromeliad 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unwanted Advances In The Workplace
2017-01-20 12:47:06 · answer #2 · answered by cuthrell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him out flat that your not interested in him. I know it hurts but hey so does the truth simple as that. Try and keep it on the lowest level possible. Don't bring it up to your boss then it unfolds like dominos and trust me on that i'm in the military and thats the way its works for us kep it on the lowest level, but shoulda situation arise to were you can't control the situation then i would talk to your boss or someone else at work that you would feel negotiating with.
2007-09-22 17:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him very directly that you are very serious and that when you told him you were not interested, you also were telling him that his advances make you uncomfortable. Tell him that it really does bother you and you would appreciate it if he will respect you enough to take you seriously and stop this behavior toward you. You can tell him in a friendly manner, but keep it professional, and firm. If it happens again, I would approach him and tell him once again but that if it continues, you will take matters into your own hands and report him. Good luck and I hope this helps.
2007-09-22 21:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, clearly state to your coworker that you would like the advances to stop. Explain that you see this as a professional situation and if the advances do not stop you might see this as sexual harassment. If his advances do not stop after this warning, you should take it to the HR department or your boss.
2007-09-22 18:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking out a co-worker once, even if it unwelcome, is not sexual harassment, however, if you have told him no and he persists, then he has crossed the line.
If you have not already done so, tell him clearly you are not interested, and then if he does not back off, talk to your supervisor.
2007-09-22 16:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by arvis3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firmly make your feelings known to him (AGAIN), if he continues to harrass you, turn him in. You have a right to feel safe and comfortable in your work environment,Period.
2007-09-22 16:26:11 · answer #7 · answered by KatyDid 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say...Give it up....we have to work together so lets stay on speaking terms.....I am not interested so please back off.
2007-09-22 16:39:00 · answer #8 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him he is not your type.
2007-09-23 07:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your HR representative. That is what they are there for.
2007-09-22 16:22:11 · answer #10 · answered by Lauren B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋