I am 27 I constantly have men telling me how great I am how attractive (I measure 40-30-44 so i have all the right cuves in all the right places) that i am a great person(what ever that means) but none of them ever stick around. In the event that they give me a reason before they just disapear it is ussually an its not you its me.
I wonder a)why can't they give me real reason so i can do something about it and b) if I'm so great why on earth can't find a decent man??????????
2007-09-22 15:46:12 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
For several years I was the manager of a bar where couples mingled. I learned quite a lot by observing what when on. Here is a possible clue.
The key is the word "shy". A woman who is attractive but lacks confidence tends to send out the wrong signals and ends up with undesirable results. Let me explain.
Good looking woman in a bar. Lots of men around. She avoids making eye contact or smiling at anyone. A man approaches they talk. He ends up being a foul ball. Happens over and over. Why?
Good looking woman in a bar. Lots of men around. She makes eye contact with some that she finds attractive. A man approaches, they talk. He leaves. Another approaches. He leaves. Another approaches. They sit and laugh and have a good time leave. They end up having a good relationship. Why?
Most really good men are not obnoxious. They do not wish to annoy a woman that wants to be left alone. Most jerks never even consider what she wants. They hit on every woman they see until they connect.
You have to learn to use the guidance system most good guys are navigating by. If a man looks promising you need to help guide him in to make his approach. A little flirting is called for. Nothing vulgar or obvious. Just catch his eye and linger a few seconds before looking away. Catch it again and give a little smile, start to turn your head before looking away (sort of a little back-glance). This is his signal that he has been cleared for approach.
When he gets there and starts talking a savvy woman knows the importance of body language. I have seen it many times. He sits next to her and she turns only her head towards him. If after a few minutes of conversation she is still in this position, he is ordered to go around; no landing possible.
If after a few minutes she turns her body to face him he has approached the outer marker and landing is still go. Her body language has now excluded everyone else in the traffic pattern. Now she is interested in what he is saying and is starting to like him.
If all goes well and she really wants this guy, lint picking occurs. She will find a reason to make physical contact often by picking something off of his shoulder (even if there is nothing there) he may return the touch by suddenly becoming very interested in some jewelry she is wearing.
If this continues for a while he is on final approach. Most likely, they will either leave together or she will give him her number and leave for the evening. No further immediate action required.
In a nutshell, you are letting the men pick you instead of picking the men you want. Follow my advice for the best opportunity of find a winner.
Remember, when you are seeing someone regularly he and you are auditioning for some role. Make sure you find out up front what that role is and whether it is the role you want to play. If you wish to have the starring role do not audition for a position in the chorus line. If he just wants to be an extra do not audition him for a leading role. The sooner the two of you decide what you are looking for the less time you will waste.
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2007-09-22 16:14:27 · answer #1 · answered by Jacob W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh they exist all over the place, but the women that were smart enough to realize it picked them up when they were 26. They're all married now and having a blast, cause he's honest and a good father. You waited too long to look for this perfect guy, and now it's too late. Looks like you have to settle for for the old guy at the clubs, because you wanted to live your life and party you passed a good man by. I'm pretty sure that you even turned down the nerdy guy when you were younger, and now he's grown up and turned into the man you want, but he's bitter from being rejected in the past by girls like you.
2016-05-21 03:05:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. Are you scaring them away? What is it about all the men you're attracted to that they all have in common? What you look like is great for the initial attraction, but it's really personality that keeps a man hanging on. Maybe make a list of all your boyfriends and their personalities. If you're pushing to get married or have a long term relationship, that is enough to scare a guy. Also, where are you finding these guys? Maybe reconsider who you're dating and what you are looking for in a guy.
2007-09-22 15:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get involved in some activities that you really enjoy - maybe take a cooking class or join a reading group or whatever else you might enjoy. It's a good way to meet someone who you have something in common with.
2007-09-22 15:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♣♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i mean... try hitting on a guy yourself, and maybe ask him out
to be honest, if a girl had the confidence to do that to me, there is almost no way i would say no
2007-09-22 15:49:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
jus wait around sooner or later the right loopyd will come around
2007-09-22 15:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by Loopy-d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you'd be more comfortable if you went out with friends.
2007-09-22 15:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by betternher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
need to open yourself more
to guys you really dont find attractive
flowers grow in dirt
you know
2007-09-22 15:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by jibrilz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur info is way to vague !
need specifics
2007-09-22 15:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋