I was going through my boyfriends cell phone last night and for some odd reason i looked through is pictures and found 19 picutures of his ex (holly) 4 pictures of some girl on his myspace (Michael) and 4 pictures of some girl named (kristy). I dont know who kristy is but there was one picutre of her in a 2 piece bathing suit. And i kept looking that theres only 2 of me.
He tells me that he loves me all the time. And we are engaged and getting married in September of next year. What should i think? I got to thinking that maybe he just hasnt deleted those pics of his ex but for some odd reason he found time to delete the ones of us and me. I sent him pics all the time but he only has 2 saved. WHAT SHOULD I THINK? I love him so much and dont want to leave him.
2007-09-22 14:22:08 · 13 answers · asked by iloveyou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im sorry that i have some typos but im just really mad right now. Please help me out!
2007-09-22 14:24:07 · update #1
Ask him about these girls and tell him that if you guys are suppose to be getting married then you have to trust him. And these pictures are not helping that cause.
2007-09-22 14:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by tallglassofwater91 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For me, I wonder WHY you were going through your boyfriend's cell phone last night and for WHAT odd reason you looked through his pictures?
Could it be that he has given you some other reasons to be suspicious?
Be that as it may, twenty pictures of Holly (never mind Michael and Kristy) and two of you should sound some sort of warning bell.
You say that he tells you that he loves you all the time. That may well be so, but words are cheap. It may be that he wants a young, trusting and compliant wife and a few girlfriends.
If you aren't absolutely sure he is faithful to you, you shouldn't marry him. I think you are awfully young to be getting married anyway.
But this is all speculation. He may be entirely blameless. Still, do some discreet digging. Talk to Holly's friends. Have a look at his My Space page. You may not like what you find but it's better to know the truth now than in a couple of years when you are married and pregnant.
2007-09-22 14:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um if he had the time to delete the pics of the 2 of u and the pics of just u then he cant use that excuse of being to lazy to go thru his phone... normally I would say that that is something that men do, just being lazy, but he clearly had enough time and thought to delete some.... thats just plain disrespectful! I am not saying to leave him but your gut instinct is ALWAYS right... do u feel like hes cheating? Do you feel like he still has feelings for his ex? These are things that definately need to be taken care of before you walk down the isle! Good luck girl!
2007-09-22 14:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by theresa b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can either think that he is lazy, by not deleting the pictures or not taking more of you, or that he is still carrying a torch for his ex.
My money would be on lazy, and that if you let him know how you felt about the situation he would make an adjustment to his phone.
If he doesn't then he is sending you a clear signal about where you stand in his mind.
2007-09-22 14:30:24 · answer #4 · answered by wildwillyinva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are they prettier than you, or sexier than you?
You should tell him how you feel. Not just dumbly saying "I feel betrayed". Say "I saw these pictures, and I felt like you didnt want me as much as you want them. It makes me wonder if you really want to marry me, or if you are settling for me. Help me to understand, really understand why you have their pictures on the phone. "
Then listen. Listen well. Speak only one sentence for every five he speaks. Take the time to get deep deep to the heart of what he is saying. Dont respond, dont react, understand.
After you have a total, deep, and precise understanding then respond. Dont blow up, repeat to him exactly what you understand, and then ask him to tell you exactly where what and how its not perfectly correct. After you have a second confirmation about the who-what-why then you fully respond. Still dont blow up, but tell him how you feel. When you are done, dont ask him to respond, ask him to tell you exactly what he understood. If he gets it wrong correct it, until he gets it exactly right.
This is the only way to work things like this stuff out.
If you want a marriage that lasts, you gotta learn how to fight. Thats not how to fight dirty, thats how to get to a true resolution when you to are both betrayed, pierced, and spitting mad.
That method is from "How to fight for your marriage". Oprah recommended it, and its good stuff. I love the book and give it as a wedding gift regularly.
2007-09-22 14:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
confront him about it and you will be able to see if he is making stuff up or not. and next time he leaves his cell layin around, delete all those pics of the other girls and if asks you about it, you can just turn the tables and ask why he had them! Ha! but if he says nothing and remains to have no pics of other girls on his phone dont worry!
2007-09-22 14:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by sexy_guitar_sk8r_chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is still hooked on his ex and is most likely seeing other girls on the side, i would keep my eyes open if I were you. Also confront him about the pics on the cell phone and see how he reacts if he yells about his privacy then I would consider going your own way
2007-09-22 14:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by sweetinsanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iloveyou - it's not the big deal people are telling you. He just enjoy's the pictures of you all, perhaps the memories, maybe he still DOESN'T DESPISE them. Be happy they're only pictures.
If you felt that strongly about it I suppose you could delete all of them except the ones of you but I doubt he'd even notice they were gone. (BTW, if that's a picture of you you've nothing to worry about.)
2007-09-22 14:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you can approach him about the situation and try to talk to him in a rational way and see what comes of the situation if he gets mad then he is hiding something and if he agrees with you then hes on the up and up with wish you luck though I had a simular situation with my boyfriend last year and it worked out for us
2007-09-22 14:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So how long is it before you start rifling through his wallet?
Leave his personal stuff alone till you carry his last name.
Everything was going OK till you got nosy.
Are you accusing him of being with any of these girls?
If not, let me clue you in on something.....Guys are not blind just because they are in a relationship..
The Rat
2007-09-22 14:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋