So my Christian mom says God dissaproves of interaccial dating?

Question

-sigh- I can't seem to get any peace with this woman.Anyway I'm dating a white boy. He's 16 hot as fxck with long black hair. He has both ears peirced. My mom says it's wrong for men to have their ears peirced and that because he has long hair(down to his back) he is gay.-rolls eyes- I'm 14 and I can't reason with this lady. I'm 14 and I'm black. I'm a pagan but I lied and told her I was agnostic. He's athiest. She claims I left Christianity because of him. We have been arguing for a week. I'm seriously close to telling her to shut the hell up. She forces me to say prayers and prevents me from partying.(Which is my favorite hobby.) This week has been nothing but church. Help MEEE!!!

He's not gay. My mom just thinks he is.

Answer 1

Collosians 3:11 "Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all." aka, we're all equal and are ALL created in the image of God. Our physical appearance means nothing, on the inside our souls all resemble God. If he's dating you, then obviously he's not Gay (unless he's covering it up) Don't take offence but being 14 you probably wont end up marrying this guy, so if your mum really doesn't like him she needs to take that into consideration. But I will just let you know, your mum wants to protect you, picture this, you are your mum's baby girl who's dating a hormonal 16 year old boy with piercings and long hair. She's seeing "bad boy" and only wants to protect you. BUT She shouldn't force you to pray!
Tell her this from me... "What good is prayer if you don't mean it?" a prayer comes from the heart, it should never be forced you should do it because you WANT to, other wise it means nothing, and it's LYING.
It's like saying "Sorry" but not being sorry at all your just saying it to sound good. Wouldn't your mum prefer the knowledge that if your praying one night it's because you chose to, and you weren't forced to?

Answer 2

Sigh. I get so sad when I hear about parents forcing their religion on their kids. In your Mom's heart - she THINKS she's doing what's best for you.

Behave. Make sure you behave! You are only 14. I don't know what you mean by "partying" - but I'm pretty sure that means alcohol and drugs. Don't do it!! It will just give her MORE reason to shove the church down your throat. Behave.

I was 15. White. In the South. A lot of Catholicism and racism were in the middle of my upbringing. So - I dated a black guy and got pregnant. Stupid.

Behave!! Be peaceful.

There is not anything wrong with you dating somebody of a different color. (And I can't believe that in 2007 - anybody is even concerned about it!)

As for God not wanting you to date somebody of another color - well - that's just crazy. God is Love.

Behave and be peaceful. I cannot say it enough. Telling your Mom to "shut the hell up" - will not get you anywhere.

Behave. When she brings up crazy things like skin color, long hair and peircings - quietly and peacefully tell her that you disagree. If you have been behaving - and you are peaceful - she will not have much of an argument.

And remember - 18 is is only 4 years away. I know that sounds like a LOOOOOONG time when you're 14 - but you'll be there soon.

Meanwhile - guess what you should do? That's right - behave! be peaceful!! (I just can't say it enough!)

Answer 3

Hi -
I am a Christian, I am white, my husband is PuertoRican and Polish! There are still places in this world that this would be considered an interracial marriage. (Bob Jones university for example). There is nothing wrong or unbiblical with marrying or dating someone of a different race.

I can see now why you are turned off by Christianity, salvation is a personal choice and cannot be forced on anyone. I can see your side of the argument and I can see your Mom's as I am a Mom myself.

Truly she only wants what is good for you, that's her job as a Mom. But she shouldn't force you to say prayers that you don't believe. The best thing you can do is be honest and open with her about your doubts. The best thing she can do for you is teach you and pray for you.

You are so young. Give it some time. Your Mom is also trying to protect you from hurting yourself, I am sure that she is worried that you might do something that you'll later regret at a party.

I partied a LOT at your age and have paid the price for it in lots of different ways. It was temporary pleasure.

I hope that this helped in some way. As a teenager it is easy to get caught up in what is happening here and now, but think about the big picture, you have your whole life ahead of you. All I'll say is try to make good choices that you won't regret later on.
Sincerely - Redeemed

Answer 4

I would love to know where the scripture that says that is. Your mom is making that up....God created Adam and Eve the first parents of us all. Do not believe that you at 14 should be dating or partying yet anyway. Do not allow anyone belief to change what you believe in.....your Mom had your best interest at heart but she is going about it the wrong way. What is partying for 14 year old anyway? Hope you mean hanging out at school dances with your school buddies. Just realize that there are people out there that are looking for young, innocent mind to mold and staying close to your parents is a protection for you. Your Mom wants to protect you (and she might even be a little prejudice) but she loves you. You might not always agree with her but know that she wants to train you in the way that is best...God's way
Prehaps Mom needs to read about the Jew and the Samaritan and show kindness and love to all her neighbors.

By the way, you are 14 and are going through the rebellious years. We all go through this time ...thinking we know more than our parents but of course, we never will. Just keep communication open with your parents. Tell them how you feel, calmly. These years will pass by quicker but you need your Mom to help you through them so try talking to her. Heck...you are only 14 ....boys will be there when you are ready. Obey your parents!!!!!

Answer 5

First, your mother is wrong about inter-racial dating, long hair and pierced ears. I used to have shoulder length hair and I still have my left ear pierced. I usually wear a diamond stud and I am and have been a Christian for over twenty years. I have dated just about every type of woman that walks on two legs and I can say nice things about all of them including my psychotic ex-wife.

Personally I wouldn't let you date this guy either.

You have four years before you are 18 and on your own. It is only four years, quit with the chaos and arguing and just wait it out, then go to college and get a degree.

Believe me it is a lot better partying when you have your life together and are making decent money.

Answer 6

Your mother is using any excuse to justify her attitudes. It wouldn't matter if your boyfriend has a shaved head and no pierced ears; there would still be an excuse to criticize you for dating him. Unfortunately, if you live under your mother's roof, then she will give you grief until you're "of age". Try not to argue back with her (as hard as that is), because it sounds like she thrives on being bossy. If you tell her to shut up, it will only make things worse. But, a lot of mothers would have concerns over their 14-year olds, so this sort of thing has always happened, and it always will happen. As for bringing God into the situation, there is nothing to suggest any disapproval about interracial dating. Again, it's your mother's attitudes and she is using religion to try to control you.

Answer 7

Honor thy Father and Mother, try working with your mom instead of argueing, Love will get you farther than an angry rebelious attitude. Why you do not believe in God I don't know. I sounds like your whole attitude is in a negative state, try seeing somethings in a positive light. Read the 23rd Psalms. Also read Numbers 6:24 thru 26, you are letting your anger take completely over which is what the old devil wants, when you argue with your parents the old devil just laughs because he is causeing pain which is one of his hobbies right now.

Answer 8

Does your boyfriend plan to take care of you when you kick your parents and family to the curb? Remember the story of Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown? Do you remember the story of Ike and Tina Turner? Do you remember the story of OJ and Nicole Smith? Do you learn from watching other people go through pain or do You have to go through the pain to believe that something is true. Do You love your Mother? Do You love your Father? Do you love your boyfriend enough to leave your family maybe forever?Your boyfriend, is he going to go to Work for you? Will he take you back and forth to school, since you are only 14-years old? How about, paying to take you to the Dr. when you get sick or Dentist for a cavity? Where will you live? Your boyfriend is going to buy groceries, clean house, feed you , buy you clothes and shoes and girl stuff and pay for your phone and light bill and rent and pay for furniture? The list goes on and on. Will your boyfriend marry you when you are legal? Did you know that your boyfriend can be and will be arrested for messing with a minor (you)? What will you do when he goes to JAIL? What happens if you get pregnant? There are consequences to your actions....you will now have to get a job, find a place to stay. Noone will rent to a 14-yr old. The lists goes on and on. Then, there is the subject of drugs......Your poor mother is probally worried sick! and don't know what to say to the one who hates her.

Answer 9

First of all, Jesus loved everybody. There is no Biblical evidence that would support your mother's misinterpretation of her own religion.

Second of all, race as a biological fact, does not exist. Sure there are differences in skin color, eye shape, hair texture, etc, but the differences are actually greater between individual people than between races. There is no scientific basis for your mother's ignorant beliefs.

Third of all, you are still only fourteen. I sure hope that you are making good decisions because this relationship could turn around to bite you on the butt later in life. My mom didn't let me go on a first date until I was fifteen! Now, I'm glad she made those rules for me. I truly believe now I could have saved myself a lot of heartache by leaving boys alone until I was in college and mentally and emotionally ready for the strain of being in a relationship.

As for the boyfriend being gay because he has long hair...sigh. That's just so silly I can't even muster up the energy to laugh at such a foolish notion.

Protect yourself both from the snares of becoming sexual at an early age (you don't want to end up pregnant, do you?) and from the irrational ideas of your mother's.

Perhaps the best solution is to gently break it off with your boyfriend, by telling him you are not really ready for a relationship (and you aren't, truly, believe me) and by telling your mom that you are willing to forego the relationship, but that you do not and will not accept her mistaken notions of Christianity, race, and homosexuality. You should honor her by not dating people when she is clearly not comfortable with you dating someone. However, she should also respect that you fundamentally disagree with her notions of race and religion. You promise to honor her while you are living in her house and she needs to promise not to fill your head with anymore racist, homophobic, pseudo-Christian nonsense.

Breaking it off with the boyfriend will save you your self-esteem (believe me...he's not worth it, no matter how "hot" he is) and it will save your relationship with your mom.

Then, when you are eighteen, you are free to leave her and seek love and fulfillment wherever you choose to look for it.

Answer 10

My dear Jeff, out of respect, I would never label members of other faiths "deluded". In my opinion, most of the time people follow the religion of their family and ancestors. Personally, I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God. Please keep in mind, I was born into a very Christian family. My ancestors from both sides were Christian. Case and point? How tragic it is that people can't worship the way they wish and refrain from judgment of others with different belief's. This issue has caused misery beyond comprehension since the beginning of recorded history. As always, I say, peace and love is the answer ((Jeff))