dating someone outside your faith?

Question

I've been dating someone with different view on religion than my own for 7 months. It bothers my family more than me about his "faith. I've always held my family's opinion high, and it has become painful recently between my mother and I because she's scared I'm going to change.

I don't like labeling myself a"religion," but I believe that Jesus Christ is the way to salvation. I am not perfect, but I strive to respect and show others the love that Jesus did when He walked this earth. My boyfriend doesn't believe that Jesus is the way to salvation. This bothered me at first when we first started talking, but now I see he respects my faith and views, is very respectful, thoughtful and the most caring companion I've ever met. We talk about the differences in our views and respect each other's "beliefs."

How can I make my family and boyfriend see eye to eye? My mom will not give him the time of day because of his "faith" and constantly condemns me. I just want to make everyone happy.

Answer 1

Dating from a different religious point of view is very common.
Just steer clear of the religion subject and you will be fine.

Answer 2

If as you say you believe Jesus Christ is the way to Salvation, and your b/f does not believe that you surely do not believe he is saved. Why would you want to be with an unsaved person? If you two marry and have Children will they be raised in his belief, or yours? Dating is a step toward marriage, so you need to consider these things. Also if you marry how would you feel knowing that he will not be in Heaven when he dies? Best way to make everyone happy is to tell him that your faith is most important to you, if his is to him then you part and each find one that shres your views. If on the other hand he is not so committed to his beliefs perhaps he may convert and you will have won a soul for Jesus.

Answer 3

Well if you are a follower of Jesus Christ then you follow his handbook The Bible and it clearly says you should be equally yolked meaning you should be with someone who has the same beliefs as you!

You need to be careful with someone who doesn't believe in Jesus. The bible tells us that the enemy comes at us like a beautiful angel. the fact that he "respects your faith" doesn't really matter if he isn't equally yolked!

And you shouldn't try and please everyone. you said yourself that you try to live your life the way Jesus did. Did He always do things to make people happy No. He only did what made the father in heaven happy as so should you. remember their is no condemnation to those in Jesus Christ! the condemption comes from the enemy who is trying to distract you from doing what the bible has already told you to do.

God Bless you sister. I hope i could encourage you.. Ask yourself what would Jesus Do?

Answer 4

You cannot make everyone happy. You can only try to make the best decision you can for yourself.
You don't say what his "faith" is, but as long as he is not wiccan or similar pagan religion, chances are good that you will be able to work any differences out with any baptized Christian (Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Methodist...or offshoots thereof).
Your mom may be concerned for the very reason that she wants you to be happy....and statistics show that if you marry within your faith, that faith in Jesus may "get you through the rough spots" that are sure to arise in any marriage.
I know many Catholics and Jewish (because Catholicism claims the Jewish as "our elder brothers") couples that have been together for years and have made their marriage work.

So don't worry too much about your mother, if that is her only objection and she is not using his religious background as an excuse to reject him for other reasons she is not letting on.

You are the one that will have to live with the decision you make. So pray for guidance, be patient, and let God lead you to what is best.

Answer 5

Brave girl. I don't think i could ever date a person outside of my faith because I don't think we'd ever be able to agree on it, and it to me, religion is a BIG thing in my lie (well... it's not HUGE.. but yeah....... lol). I do believe that being Christian is part of who I am. But anyway, enough about me.

Anyway, it's going to be an effort to make them see eye-to-eye, and they may not. Just like you and your boyfriend don't agree on religion, but you still love each other, something similar will happen here. They ('they' being your siblings, cousins, etc) will never be best-friends (are in-laws ever?) with your boyfriend, but, sometimes, with family, that's just the way it is. Lots of families have in-family rivals, it's not a new thing (why do you think there are so many movies about people who hate htier in-laws?? lol).

I would suggest sitting mommy and boyfriend down together to discuss all the differences. Boyfriend will have to gain mommy's trust, that he's not trying to convert you or anything and she's going to have to accept that he has different faiths than she does.

Also, keep in mind, your mom's not trying to be mean, she's just doing her job of protecting her little girl from people who have pull her away from salvation. Keep your patience, her will is good.

Answer 6

Do you ignore what God says? You are not to be linked with an unbeliever.

Protestants and Catholics getting married never works.

You need to listen to your mother because she knows this relationship will not work. Regardless of what your boyfriend thinks, Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation. God told you in the verse John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes on Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life, and no one comes to the Father except by Me." Jesus is the only way.
You can't respect his beliefs if you don't believe them. You either believe in Christ Jesus or you don't.

You are blinded by a man that shows you attention, but this man is not compatible with you. This boyfriend will never love you like Jesus Christ loves you. He'll walk away one day and you'll feel like you rejected the Lord for a no count man. And that is exactly what you will do.

Answer 7

I have dated someone outside my faith and luckily mine converted. I will tell you its really hard to be with someone and keep your principals usually the person you date you end up marrying. I would not condemn your boyfriend but you have to look ahead to getting married having kids do you want them to be raised with a belief in Christ or not this would be difficult if your husband did not support your beliefs you would be at odds all the time.
I say whither you are a believer or a non believer you should seek out people who have the same belief system as you do.
To not have confusion with your spouse or children, Its not fair to him or you to ask him to give up what he believes or for you to have to give up your belief in Christ Those who say the get along fine as husband and wife and have 2 belief systems, you will find out that That one is not attending there church or there belief and had to give it up to make the other happy.
Your Mom is just worried because in finding this young man are you losing your self your teachings. No she should not condemn you. Just think before you change your religion.

Answer 8

Good on you for being strong enough in your own beliefs to not be threatened by someone who has different beliefs.
I have advice, but first I need to clarify my position so stick with me please.

I'm sure you love your family and that they are essentially good people, but I really don't understand the people who claim to have faith in Jesus and yet ignore some of his most basic precepts. Nothing I know about Jesus tells me that it is our role to judge other people and the paths they travel. Didn't he say love thy neighbour.
Intolerance does nothing but drive people away from the faith. People cannot be forced to believe.
What could be the result of your mother's attitude?
1. You seperate yourself from someone you care about and are left with a broken heart, possible resentment towards your family and having learned that they will only trust your judgement if it fits in with their own.- not good.
2. Your boyfriend learns to see christians as intolerant bigots rather than loving people who trust God to make His own judgement when the time comes - not good.
3. You remain with your boyfriend under constant pressure. Your guilt and anger results in everything I have already mentioned.-not good.
4. You remain with your boyfriend and seperate yourself from your family. Results as before and this situation is most likely to force you to change in the way your mother most fears. - not good.

So how do you change your mother's attitude? You can't.
But you may be able to show her that acceptance, trust and love are the things most likely to make a positive difference.
Acceptance trust and love will allow the best of a true christian family to shine out like a guiding light. By welcoming your boyfriend and showing trust in your judgement of him as a good person your family leads by example. Rather than driving him and possibly even you away from Jesus your family can open its arms and make a difference.

Answer 9

If you believe that Jesus Christ is the way to salvation then you must also believe in His tenets. Christians are warned not to become "unequally yoked." It can only lead to pain or a weakening of your faith.

However, I do believe that your mother is handling it badly. She shouldn't be condemning you or your boyfriend. You know how she feels, you respect her opinion, she is wasting an opportunity to witness to your young man. You see, you are her baby and she is operating under a spirit of fear. God tells us not to fear. Perhaps you and she could seek the counsel of a pastor and pray together. I will be praying for you.

Answer 10

Sweetie. The Bible is clear on this. "Do not be unequally yoked". You're asking for trouble. Your parents may not know how to put it in the right words so I'll try for them.

A big problem that will come up is when you have kids. You're going to want to raise your children Christian, he'll want to raise them in his religion. There will be a lot of tension then. You may think that you have that part worked out now, but you'll be surprised when you get to it.

Why can't we be unequally yoked? As Christians, we are ministers also in the faith. God wants your future husband to be a partner with you in the faith, working together to advance His kingdom. Your non Christian boyfriend is not about that.

I'm not condemning him. I bet he's an awesome intelligent guy, or you wouldn't be seeing him. He's not for you though. At least not right now.

One more thing. As Christians every decision that we make is a decision that tests our faith and demonstrates the depths of our faith. You going out with him, says that you do not trust God to provide you a Christian husband one day. God wants us to trust Him on every issue in life. (In fact, that's what salvation is, its a trust issue. We trust that God will not condemn us for our sins)

You're not trusting God right now in this situation.

Answer 11

It will harder when you have children and when you get older but I do understand why you are trying to justify it all and make sure it will all work out. These things have a way of catching up with you later after all the idealism and the newness of falling in love goes out of the relationship. I'm sorry your mom is giving you a hard time she's probably just worried about you. It will be hard my dear trust us on this one.