How do you handle name calling?

Question

My nephew asks me questions all of the time that I can usually answer with no problem. Today I was sort of shocked when he came to me and asked how to get his classmate from calling him names. I was about give him an answer when I remembered what used to happen after someone called me names in grade school. It was never pretty and I always ended up in the principals office after they would pry me off of the person. I always got suspended too which was never fun (Had 2 deal with my mom's anger the entire time) I didnt want my nephew to go through all that or have all of that stuck to his permanant record so I told him id talk to him about that later today. What do you all suggest I say? Thanks in advance~

Answer 1

For me, ignoring worked best. Bullies thrive on the reactions they get, if your nephew can at least make it appear as if it doesn't bother him (even if it does!) then chances are they'll stop and find someone else to pick on. Whatever you do, don't tell him it *is* no big deal; just tell him to make it *seem* as if it isn't to those who're doing it... kids can feel very lost and alone when adults downplay the hurt from bullies, and that can cause them to crop it all up until they're really depressed.

Telling the teachers or telling the kids to back off can help but you should also be cautious when using this approach; sometimes the bullying can get worse, even getting physical, when the bullies feel 'ratted on'. It may help but it may backfire too, especially if there are many situations in his school where there is no adult supervision (does he walk/bike home or ride the bus, for example? Does he play outside in the same neighborhood? Is lunch break properly supervised?)

Answer 2

I like Glinda's response. The only thing I could add - but it would put the child's feelings out there for the other person to harm is, for your nephew to ask him why he calls him names? If he challenged it by saying things like, how does it make you feel, picking on another person? What kind of satisfaction do you get out of doing that? Does someone do it to you at your home? Is that why you have a need to put other people down?

The only problem with asking those questions of the person calling him names is that the person might get defensive because your nephew hit the nail on the head and then it would turn physical so maybe asking the teacher is the best way to go. I know a lot of schools today have conflict resolution people (young kids) to help through situations like that. You might check with your nephew's school to see if they have that.

I told the "Sticks and Stones" thing to my son but it didn't work. He wound up taking on the roll where he figured if he got in someone's face before they got in his, then they wouldn't challenge him. He was really fearful but by acting aggressive, no one messed with him. I'm sorry I didn't realize that was what was going on at the time. Today he's sensitive, caring, can tell a person off when needed, can play with his daughter and son even to the point of playing dolls with her, and go to work and lead his fellow soldiers who look up to him with pride and honor and would follow him into Hell and back. He is right now in Iraq.

Answer 3

Tell him you would go to school with him today and you will have a talk with the his classmate. Confront the classmate and tell him not to do it anymore or you will report him to his principal and his parents (tell him in a serious manner but don't be nasty). If he persists, you should confront him again and be more "fierce" this time. Usually kids will get scared when confronted by an adult. Your nephew will feel more secure if you stand up for him.

Answer 4

After you're done with the speech about how it doesn't really matter what anybody thinks/says about you, as long as you are happy with yourself, teach him this oldie:

"Hahaha, very funny! I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"

or

"I may be _______, but you're ugly inside and out and there's nothing you can do to change that!"

I was always the one to get caught too, the other kids always seemed to get away with it. Usually after a swift biotch slap or a kick in the nuts they would leave me alone. :)

Answer 5

just tell your nephew to respond by simply saying..."you seem to have a lack of vocabulary, if that's the best you can do" and if the person continues tell your nephew to chuckle and keep saying--keep trying. then your nephew should just ignore the person. a person usually will try to continue just to get a rise. If your nephew stops responding it then becomes boring for the other person and then they will give up.

Answer 6

it is not any longer worse than a million of mine . . . I actual have had to bear ants and different insects in my hair, harassment, idiotic made up meanings. I mean, i'm happy with it and all, because in my language it has the perfect meanings. yet each from time to time I wish that i'd have replaced it and how my existence might want to were distinct. anyhow, i guess you would possibly want to easily overlook about them. yet provided that that never worked for me, i guess you would possibly want to quite provoke them no longer instantly. Like in Anne of eco-friendly Gables even as Anne strikes to PE Island, she is teased plenty yet she finally ends up setting up in because she tried to conquer the college quite (brat Josy).

Answer 7

I would tell him to simply not respond unless they call him by his own name. If he totally ignores them, and doesn't get mad, or emotional in front of these idiots, then soon, the morons will get bored and move on.

(Or, you can tell him just to say, "I can lose the fat but you can't lose the ugly") (Just kidding, sorry.)

Answer 8

The old saying still goes.."Sticks and Stones will break your bones...BUT NAMES WILL NEVER HURT YOU". Tell him to go the teacher and ask why so and so calls him that, let her deal with it.

Answer 9

I have to agree with ignore them, no response, no fun for the name callers.

Answer 10

i'm pretty thick skinned so i usually let it blow over. when i was younger i used to be the immature one and call names right back...lol