Married Christians what do you think about this?

Question

I have a friend who thinks sex is not spiritual. What do you think about this? What would you say to such a person?

Futher details...she is married, a christian and thinks that when her husband wants sex that it is not spiritual.

I personally think that God wouldn't have put so many nerve ending in various sexual organs so we could throughly enjoy the act of making love to our spouses. God created sex--so sex with in the confines of marriage is a very spiritual expression of our beings. How could I convince someone this is the truth if they only see sex as "carnal" and not spiritual--a thing God created and wants us to participate in --with in marriage. It truly ministers to our spouse a deep love and acceptance of who they are to us--how can this not be an act of spirituality?

Answer 1

There may be deep underlying resentments.

These may not even be consciously realized.

He may be unthoughtful or show a lack in consideration toward her in some way.

May be he does not stay clean physically or is critical in overt or subtle ways.

Often people are expressing their pain - and fear talking about the wole story. Or they may not know how to express the full story or even see why they have lost interest. This goes for men too.

Sometimes a partner gets obese and it reminds a person of an abuser or looses to much weight and this too may be a turn off.

Spiritual - This is perception.

If a person feels used it is akin to feeling raped.
If a person feels a deep connection it may be thought of as spiritual.

If she is not "feeling" sex is spiritual there may be many many diverse reasons.

What can be a grand and intimate experience may be denatured by one or the other partner.

The devil wants to reduce this God given gift of joy to: a for pay act, a quick fix, or a sport.

If a man or woman is in a non sharing state of mind and is using sex as a form of masturbation then the other partner can sense this and may over time see sex as a non spiritual act. This can happen to men and women but women are a slight more prone to this reaction because of the depth and breadth of emotional translation - which is a gift.

The other scenario which occurs is a person has no attachment for various reasons to sex as intimacy. So the problem is one of intimacy.

Sex can be used as a manipulating tool. To get a person to perform in certain ways outside of the bedroom doors.

Also, withdrawal of sex over a extended period of time my drive a partner that is sexual in nature to find the connection somewhere else. Once caught or realizing there is more or better somewhere else leads to divorce.

Spiritually damaged people are unaware. Sometimes people get married because that is what they are supposed to do or for financial security. Needy do this to they marry for some different reasons but one is: loneliness. This is settling for less than a full connection a God intended. Surprisingly there are a lot of people that do this.

Some children grow up not having an example of a loving marriage, there is just nothing there but mutual cooperation between the parents in the mundane. Maybe even the children hear the message of sex meaning nothing or being dirty or some variation.

Messages that train the mind or deaden it to the spiritual.
This becomes a reality, a paradigm that is imposed.

Bland ones, these are rare but they have no feeling, no connections to others, often they are unaware of there own emotional nature. Emotions are somewhat alien to these so imagine how far away the spiritual?

oh anger and confusion is but deeper emotions and subtle ones are undefined. For a person such as this sex is an act, nothing more.

Answer 2

Wow. Wow wowowowow! I am afraid your friend is dead wrong. Does she think marriage is carnal or spiritual? How has she arrived at a Greek dualism of the spirit and the flesh? Does she suffer from some hang up that sex is dirty or has she simply never had an (ahem) orgasm? Judging from past experience that is the point where the physical and the spiritual meet. I wonder if her husband is fine gentle caring and successful in making her happy. While there is no marriage in heaven and as we shall be like the angels I believe that it is utterly impossible to reduce the sex act to the physical only. Were it so, the sin of adultery would not be described as a sin unless it took place in the flesh - compare this with the teaching in scripture -

Matthew 5:
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

So how would your friend explain this? If she tries to say marriage is just spiritual and that the "looking" at a woman is "longing to be with her for her mind" than why does the warning not distinguish the thoughts of the heart from being just looking to committing adultery? Secondly what would she feel if her husband had sex with another woman and said it wasn't spiritual it was just physical and I didn't really like her?

I think your friend believes this because she has never been sexually fulfilled. Sorry to be personal but sex is.

Answer 3

I would drop the "spiritual" part of the argument, and simply tell that person the right and wrong behavior in regards to this. I.E. Tell them specifically what the bible says.

1) One of the 10 commandments is you shall not commit adultery (Exodus 20)
2) Jesus said in Matthew 5 that if you even look with lust you've committed adultery in your heart, making even lusting after a person a sin.
3) 1Corinthians 6:9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts,
4) It deserves death... Romans 1:26-27, 32 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error... 32 Though they know God's decree that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do them but approve those who practice them.
5) The definition of a fornicator is someone who has had sex outside of marriage. Revelation 21:8 "But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted, as for murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire and sulphur, which is the second death."

These are only a few examples. Sexual sin is very serious and the bible talks about it a lot.

Answer 4

Sex is in fact deeply "spiritual". From a Biblical standpoint, a "soul tie" is created when ever sex occurs, even in cases of
rape.
Fornication including Adultery are placed very high in the list of sins. The 7th commandment forbids Adultery. And is grounds for Divorce among Jews and Christians.
In 1 Cr 6;18 Paul tells us to flee fornication.
NOT just to avoid it, but to flee from it. This is unusual when sins are mentioned.
In the Hebrew tradition concerning Marriage which is generally performed before a Rabbi(a spiritual leader), the
marriage is not considered valid unless it is consumated(sexual union achieved).
To say that sex is not spiritual is simply to be ignorant of
the issue altogether.
I Cr 13;8a

Answer 5

One of gods greatest gifts is a small taste of creation. Granted, having sex doesn't mean your are always creating something (thanks God), but the whole act between a married couple is very sacred.

Which makes sex between other types of partners that much more "sinful" sure some my think sex isn't a spiritual experience. But, that's because they haven't experience it in the righteous way. You are not going to get the same experience from a one night stand (or let alone any other form) then from a righteous experience of a honorably married couple.

Answer 6

Marriage is a sacrament, and the "marriage bed is undefiled" which means that the union between a man and woman is spiritual as well as physical. It is becoming "co-creators with God" when your union creates the body for a child of God. That is why the sexual rules are rigid and very important part of the laws of God and all sex outside of marriage is sin because sex outside of marriage is misusing the fountains of life.

Answer 7

Hi, From my understanding, they are supposed to. However with modernization people are becoming more and more tolerant of other faiths and today many christians are marrying outside their religion. In many cases the children are brought up following both traditions. I support it because after all most religions do have the same moral teachings.

Answer 8

It all depends on the person. Animals do not think sex is spiritual either. They do it because it is their instinct and perhaps feels good... (not always from the cries of the poor cat... lol).

When you realize that you are with your companion for the sake of the Almighty, to make babies who will improve His World, who will remember his name and who will do good works of charity and realize that he/she has been made for YOU by the Almighty to meet your needs and has made YOU to meet his/her needs, then there is a deep spiritual bonding. THEN indeed, sex can become a spiritual experience, even a form of worship. When you appreciate Holy One for it. If you are a male do not think too much about the holy one right before but focus on your companion or you will need viagra..lol.... just kidding!! There is a prayer that you do right before you have sex too, at least in Islam, I do not know about other faiths.

The Almighty has decreed that it is not the action alone that counts but the intentions behind the action in my understanding. I hope this makes sense.

Answer 9

I don't think your friend has found love yet. A husband and wife joining together and becoming one is exactly what God planned and wanted for us. It's incredibly physical, spiritual and emotional. At least it's suppose to be.

God Bless.

Answer 10

God made woman for man for that reason.
only if you are NOT married, is it a sin to participate in the act.
i would tell your friend that sexual intimacy is for MARRIED couples only.... & if she is married, 1 cor.7:4-5, paul said she doesn't have power of her own body, but the husband does.... & likewise the husband.

marriage gives you the ability to have sexual relations w/ your spouse. any other intimate relationship is sin.