Im 26 with 3 kids and one on the way. I'm working full time and my kids father just got laid off. He makes money by selling cds on the street which is not much really. I'm trying to change this by going to school online now, so in two years i'll have a degree. I really can't stand the way things are right now. I haven't done laundry in over a month because of no money. I need things for the baby, things for me. All my money goes to damn bills and rent. We pay for childcare for two kids.That's it. I told him when he was on umemployment to go to a traing school, but he diden't take that seriously. Yes, I have faith things will get better, but in the meantime my man can't support his family the way he's supposed to. What am i supposed to do here? I'm getting frustrated with this now.
2007-09-22 10:58:28 · 19 answers · asked by sjrosario82 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get rid of the deadbeat dad and stop having more kids. You seem to be on the right track by continuing your education. Good luck to you.
2007-09-22 11:02:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like the kids father needs a dose of reality. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. You're working full time, working on getting a degree, taking care of 3 kids and pregnant with a fourth. Selling CDs on the street may help out a little but he needs to get another job to supplement that income. All your money goes for bills and rent. Where does his money go? It sounds like he's more of a liability than a help right now.
Tell him he's going to have to step it up a notch or you'll have to ask him to leave. If he truly loves you he should be there for you and help out more without being asked. Voice your frustrations and tell him (don't ask him) you're putting some of the burden on his shoulders. Give him a chance to show what he's made of. If he doesn't come through show him the door.
In the meantime stay strong, keep your eye on the prize and know things will get better.
2007-09-22 11:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know, life gets tough for everyone at times. Believe me there are people in the world with far worst problems than the ones your facing. And right now it may seem frustrating, but you can and will get thru it. The only advice I can give you is cut out some of your expenses. Sometimes we have to give up things that we like to get what we need.
You say your old man is laid off...... so why are you paying for childcare?? I run a daycare center so I know childcare can cost a pretty penny. Take them out of childcare temporarly and let dad be the nanny. He can go sell his cd's when you get home from work.
Apply for some state support if you can. I know you may not want a "handout" etc. But there comes a time in life where we have to learn to swallow or pride and ask for help.
You haven't done laundry in a month because there is no money....... chile, haven't you heard of the "bathtub" washer?? It may sound low class or whatever..... but hey, that's money saved.
And why are you going to school online in the middle of a family crisis?? Sure education is important..... but it also cost money. Wouldn't it be wiser to wait until after you man gets back on his feet to start shelling out tution cash??
I wouldn't say get rid of your man because everyone goes thru hard times. And he is trying. Granted it's only selling cd's, but think about how many men would've cut and ran and left you high and drive to deal with this alone. You two can get thru this, you just gotta work together.
Best of luck to you.
2007-09-22 11:46:15 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Jackson - West 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
keep the faith I know it is frustrating and it seems like a never ending battle. I am 36 w/5 kids and still trying to make it. I have made it so far. where do you live, Florida? There are so many options for you but It takes alot of your time, but in the end its well worth the effort!!! You have to be a strong woman, there is one very important thing that i have learned in my years and thats you can not depend on any one you say he cant support his family what if you didnt have him then what would be your excuse???? what if he was a sorry *** man and didnt even try to work and left you alone with the kids what would you do?? think about it and remember to positive and it could always be worse!!
2007-09-22 11:10:53 · answer #4 · answered by Wandering Jenni 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sorry that you are going through hard times. your man needs to get a job. selling cd's on the street isn't enough to take care of a family. if your man doesn't work how come you are paying for child care? you need to leave the kids with him being as though he is not working. at least you'll save some money.
maybe you can get some help from the state.
2007-09-22 12:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask your husband to stay home and look after the kids rather than pay for child care, if he is having so much trouble finding a job. This should save some money and give him more incentive to find a job when he realises how hard it is to be a mum.
2007-09-22 12:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by Jade74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow sounds rough. first off hang in there, my mom always tells me when times are rough that things will work out if you just keep your head up. have you looked into any sort of help through the state you live in?? i live in wisconsin and I was a single mother for sometime and was able to get help through them. I received childcare and WIC(vouchers for food and formula). if things are that rough you should be able to qualify for hopefully a lot. what about getting on a wait list for low income housing or rent assistance? even if it is a long wait like it is here it may help one day and youll already be on it. does your man qualify for unemployment through your state?? Have him get a new job, and work opposite shifts so you don't have to pay for childcare. those would be my suggestions.
2007-09-22 11:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by whatever 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm tired of it as well. But, you have to understand, having 4 kids wasn't smart on your part. Do you understand that if every couple had 2 kids the population of the planet would double? So for one, you having so many kids harms the whole planet. And secondly, you having 4 kids was only harming yourself. If things were so tough, why did you have another kid? You could have taken the morning after pill, that sh*t is free from free clinics.
So while I do agree the cost of living is too high here, it's also your own fault for exacerbating the problem by having too many kids.
2007-09-22 11:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kaze 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First and foremost
Cut out the daycare for the two kids.
If your man is not working , he can keep his kids. That money will be saved for other things. Keep plodding along and prodding him to get a job. There is light at the end of the tunnel, you just might have to get dirty to get there.
2007-09-22 11:30:23 · answer #9 · answered by dapperdudet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is lazy You have my sympaty But what about you . Why dont you stay home and pull some Social Service And baby sit 2 kids It will be money under the table UNderstand what I mean Clothes for your baby and other kids you can get it at a trith store good Luck
2007-09-22 11:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Every couple hits hard times. It's what makes the marriage so much stronger. I know it seems hard to hold on now, but support him. Tell him to get a real job. Even if its in construction! It's money and the stress will just melt off.
2007-09-22 11:04:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋